“Ok, ok, hands off my girl,” Nick says as I let her go.

His girl. She’s Nick’s girl.

The house is dark when Nick pulls into the driveway. Lucy isn’t home yet, which means she won’t know I went out tonight. I’m not sure what is happening with Nick, but I’m definitely not ready to talk about it with Lucy. She has this way of blowing things out of proportion. I also don’t need another lecture on birth control. I try to say goodnight in the car, but Nick insists on walking me to the door.

“Do you work tomorrow?” he asks as we reach the porch.

I tell him I have the morning shift.

“Can I come see you? Maybe we can do something after you get off.” He takes my hands and smiles, as if he has to convince me to say yes. He doesn’t realize how badly I want to see him again. How I hate letting him go right now.

This is crazy. I can’t be attached already. “Yes, of course.” I’ll be counting the minutes.

Nick smiles like I just told him he won the lottery. I think that’s what makes being with him feel so nice. The way he looks at me like a coveted piece of art. He sees something that nobody else can, not even me. “Good night,” he says, then leans in and kisses my cheek. I exhale slowly, and the next thing I know, his lips brush my mouth. We kiss softly two or three times then break away. My heart sputters in my chest when I open my eyes and see him staring back at me. This wasn’t my first kiss, but it is the one I will commit to memory and pull up whenever I need to smile.

“Good night,” I whisper into the air between us.

“Good night,” Nick says again and takes a step down off the porch. My arm extends towards him until my fingers slide from his like some cheesy music video moment. I get why those moments exist. I’m having one right now.

Nick walks down the steps and stands by his door, waiting for me to go inside. I finally unlock the door and wave one more time before closing it. I run straight to my room and watch Nick drive away. After his car disappears around the corner, I fall onto the bed with a loud sigh. I just went on a date with Nick Marino. He said I was beautiful. He kissed me goodnight. I don’t know how I will sleep tonight or work tomorrow. I already miss his touch, his smell. I’m already completely addicted.

Forget flying under the radar. Fuck the radar. I’m going to fall in love with Nick Marino.

I’m in the bathroom washing my face when the doorbell rings. It’s late, and Lucy wouldn’t ring the bell. Whoever it is must have seen Nick drop me off. They know I’m home alone. I creep into the hall and look down the staircase to see if I recognize the silhouette on the porch. The doorbell echoes through the empty house again. For the first time since the night of the accident, I’m scared. Lucy calls it an accident, now I’m doing it. I guess accident rolls off the tongue a lot easier than the truth. I look at the phone in the hall. I could call Johnson. He’s home in Arcata. That’s at least twenty minutes away. I could be dead by then. Now I sound as paranoid as Lucy. I’m safe here. Lucy, Johnson, even the police seemed convinced that Eureka was the safest place for me to be. I take a step to go downstairs when there is a loud knock on the door. I scramble back to the hall and pick up the phone, ready to call nine-one-one. What will I say? A stranger is knocking on the door? That’s hardly an emergency.

There’s another loud knock, then a voice yells my name. “Hey Dani, it’s me.” It’s Nick! My heart does a happy dance while my stomach exits my throat.

I bolt down the stairs and open the door. “I’m sorry, I was in the bathroom.” Great, I just told Nick Marino I was using the bathroom.

“That’s alright.” He smiles his Nick smile. “I just wanted to see if you felt like going to a party.”

“Right now?”

“Yeah,” he says apologetically. “I was going to ask you before, but you said you had to go home.” He runs his hand through his thick dark hair. “I just really want to hang out with you a little longer.”

I don’t want this night to end either, but I hate parties. Especially parties that may include Heather King.

Nick runs his hand through his hair again. “So, do you think you can go?” His right eyebrow arches, and the hairs on my arm stand at attention.

No, no way. Lucy will freak out if she comes home and you’re gone. You can’t leave this house.

I hear cheering in the front room. Nick must be here—time to work. I splash water on my face and open the bathroom door. Two girls squeeze past me and slam the door. I don’t know how long I’ve been hiding in there, but the line is all the way down the hall. After K’s NASCAR-level driving from the beach to his house two blocks away, I was spinning. I felt better after dunking my head in a sink of cold water.

I find Nick in the kitchen with K. He pulls the bag of pills out of his pocket and opens it. “Tell Troy I said welcome home.” Nick places half a dozen pills in K’s hand. Troy is K’s older cousin. He just finished his first year of college and is home for the summer. He’s six foot two and close to three hundred pounds. He plays defensive end for Washington State. I don’t think he’s ever said more than five words to me that weren’t:

Get the fuck out of my way.

Hey, fag, did your boyfriend pick that outfit for you?

Or my favorite: What are you buying me for lunch today?

Troy was the meanest bully Eureka High has ever seen. Everyone sleeps easier now that he’s gone. From what I’ve read about thizz, I’m anxious to see how it will affect Troy’s naturally volatile demeanor.

“Have you tried it?” K asks while pumping a beer from the keg in the middle of his kitchen floor.

“Not yet.” Nick smiles at me and hands me a pill. I didn’t realize I’d actually take one. I was so juiced about the music I forgot the real reason we were here. The pill is smaller than your average headache medicine and has a chalky feel to it. Each one is stamped with a dolphin. “That’s sort of lame. Why not a shark or something? It might as well be a fuckin’ goldfish.” We laugh at Nick’s lame association, but neither one of us take the pill.

“What are you bitches doing in here?” I freeze when I hear Troy’s voice. He reaches around me for the freshly pumped beer in K’s hand.

K hands him the beer. “Have you heard of thizz?”

“You punks never thizzed?” Troy scoffs. He stops laughing when K holds out his hand to show him the pills.

“Welcome home,” Nick says to let him know he is to thank for the freebies. Troy never disrespects Nick, but he doesn’t really like him either.

Troy nods to Nick as he swipes the pills from K. “Li’l bitches,” he mumbles as he leaves the kitchen.

“Fuck him.” K whispers so Troy doesn’t hear. “Let’s do it.” K grabs a cup to pump another beer. Nick and I smile like we’re ready, but I hesitate. I see Nick pause, too. K is about to pop the pill in his mouth when the doorbell rings. “I better get that.” K palms his pill and hurries to the door before his cousins scare off the guests.

“We should wait for K,” I suggest.

“Ok, but if anyone asks, it’s the best shit you ever had.” He winks as the kitchen fills with people. He leaves to go mingle and I stay behind to freak out.

I palm the pill and wonder if I can get away with not taking it. Once the party gets started, Nick will be busy making sales and fighting off chicks. I doubt he’ll even care whether I take it or not. Tonight, I’ll be an observer. I’ll take notes on how people react to the pills, how long the high lasts, and I’ll report it all back to Nick. I really don’t know how else I can contribute to Nick’s business. I’m not a drug dealer. Hell, I’m not even a user. None of us have ever done anything other than weed. In Humboldt County, the consensus is that marijuana should be legal, so it never felt wrong. Cocaine and meth are pretty much limited to the tweakers and freaks that live on the edge of town. Popping a pill is a whole new level for all of us.