We walk a few feet in silence. I get the feeling he’s finished talking about his family, so don’t I ask any questions. The last thing I want to do is talk about my family.

“What was it like growing up in the city?” he finally asks.

“Foggy mostly.” Please don’t ask me anything else.

Nick laughs. “Yeah, the weather kind of sucks, but it beats the shit out of Eureka. Why the hell would you move here? Did your parents want to torture you or something?”

I could tell him the lie Lucy made up for her coworkers and friends. She tells people my parents are on some bullshit philanthropic mission helping indigenous people in the South Pacific. I don’t want to lie to Nick. It will just make it that much harder to tell him the truth later. If there is a later. I shrug and force a smile. “Yeah, something like that.”

Nick is waiting for me to elaborate, but I can’t. I won’t. We keep walking hand in hand, both of us holding on to family secrets we don’t want to share.

“So, you like Audiodub?” It’s the only safe topic I can think of. It’s also something I’ve been curious about since I heard “Lucky Go Leah” in his car.

“Are you kidding? I love Audiodub. My uncle Will knows one of the guys in the band. Maybe we can go see them sometime. I’ll introduce you.” Nick’s face lights up at the thought. “Have you ever seen them live?”

I tell Nick I haven’t seen them, but it’s a lie. I saw Audiodub play at Slim’s last year. My mom freaked out when I asked her if I could go. She said Slim’s wasn’t an appropriate venue for a girl my age, even though the place has no age limit. The night of the concert, my father told my mom he was taking me to dinner and a movie. Instead he took me to see Audiodub. I couldn’t count on my father for much, but when he came through, he came through big. We never told my mom, it was just our secret. It still is.

“Then I’m definitely taking you.” I love that he is already thinking about future dates, because I can’t imagine my future without him in it. I’m so screwed.

We stop at the end of the cove and stare in the direction of the ocean. I try to maintain some dignity as my hair whips around my face from the unrelenting wind. I look up and catch Nick watching me like a puppy in a pet store window. “Are you cold?” He lets go of my hand and holds open his jacket. I don’t even hesitate. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his shirt. He smells like jasmine and car exhaust. Normally, that would seem like an odd pairing, but on Nick it’s divine. I’m surprised at how easily I succumb to him. He offers to hold me and I jump in his arms. It’s so unlike me—the old me. This is a new Dani. Who knows what I’m capable of?

My smile is frozen in place, partly by the freezing wind, but mostly because I feel good. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this kind of good. I place my ear against Nick’s chest and listen to the quick rhythm of his heart—it’s beating as fast as mine. I want to remember this moment forever—the cold wind on my back, the uneven sand under my feet, the warm sensation in my chest, and the safe feeling of his arms around me. Nothing exists in the world but us. I look into Nick’s smiling eyes, they are a plethora of earth tones—light brown and yellow with hints of green. Looking at him makes my body tingle in all the right ways. He pulls me closer and kisses my forehead. The gesture is sweet, but I want more. I need more. I focus on his lips, willing them to want me.

Kiss me, I scream with my eyes. I bite my lower lip; it draws Nick’s eyes to my mouth. He brushes his hand across my cheek and I inhale as if I’m about to dive underwater. My eyelids flutter as he draws closer, my lips part, waiting to feel his mouth on mine. Then I hear the faint call of his name. The salty night air replaces Nick’s warm breath as the yelling grows louder. How was this moment suddenly ruined? I look past Nick and see Matt running up the beach towards us.

Oh no, Matt.

My heart folds in on itself when I see her in his arms. Nick looks like he is about to make his move, so I yell his name. His eyes shoot in my direction and I wave. I put on my best fake smile and walk up to them like I didn’t just cock-block my best friend. I tell Nick its ten thirty, but I don’t say anything about the party at K’s house. Neither does he. I don’t think I can stand to watch them thizz together, not after what I read online about how it effects inhibitions, sex drive. Will was right. There is an entire culture built around this drug. Music, hairstyles, clothes. I can’t wait to release thizz culture on Eureka. Just not on Dani.

“I have to be home at eleven,” Dani says.

Nick looks at her curiously. “Ok,” he says. “I’ll drop her off then come back for you.” I know from the look on his face he doesn’t want me to say anything about the party. I nod my head once to let him know I get it. Nick and I have known each other forever. We can read each other like nobody else can. We always know what the other is thinking.

He takes Dani’s hand and starts back towards the bonfire. I follow two steps behind. I wonder if she’d be here with me if I wasn’t such a punk, if I would have just asked her out in class or at least talked to her in the parking lot. I knew better than to have her meet me with Nick around. He’s like a black hole, sucking up the attention of everyone around him. He can’t help it. Hell, I don’t even think he likes it, but he can’t escape it. None of us can. Dani being here is my fault. I put her in his path and she couldn’t fight the pull. I know she liked me, at least a little. I saw the way her cheeks turned red when I sat down next to her in class and the huge smile she gave me when I passed her in the hall. We had a good vibe, I know it. I felt it. I fucked it up.

When we get back to Nick’s car, I remember what Haley said about Dani. I wonder if Nick knows she doesn’t party and that’s why he isn’t bringing her to K’s house. Dani is standing on the passenger side of the car while Nick and I say goodbye. “Later,” Nick says, and we clap our hands together. He whispers that he wants me to wait for him to get back before giving out any freebies. As if I would do it without him.

Dani is watching us. More like she’s watching Nick. She doesn’t even see me. I’m just background noise. As Nick’s partner, it’s my duty to let him know about Dani before things get serious. “I heard Dani doesn’t party,” I whisper.

Nick looks at me like I’m speaking another language. “Who told you that?” I know Nick, and his defenses just went up.

“Haley.” The mention of Haley’s name makes Nick grimace. He runs his hand through his hair and looks back at Dani. “Alright, I’ll drop her off and meet you at K’s.”

I feel a huge weight lift from my chest knowing she won’t be at the party. I won’t have to watch her smile at him the way she used to smile at me. Nick unlocks the door and opens it for Dani. Before she ducks down to get inside, she looks up at me and smiles. “See you on Monday, Matt.”

My entire body erupts in pleasure with that one small look. I don’t want her to go, I want to stare at that smile a little longer. “Wait,” I yell as her head disappears below the car. “Don’t I get a hug goodbye?” I have no idea where that came from. It must be the six-pack of beer I slammed. Liquid courage.

Dani looks up with a strange expression. She looks shocked or disgusted by the words coming out of my mouth, which makes what I’m about to do even more pathetic—but I really don’t care. I walk to her side of the car and wrap my arms around her frigid body. She smells like coffee and car exhaust. Weird—but fucking awesome. She doesn’t say a word. I’m practically assaulting her. I’m such a loser.