“May the best man win,” he slurred and lifted his glass. The table fell silent, then I burst out laughing. I’m not sure why. Nick and Matt clinked their glasses and nodded to each other as if accepting the challenge. I told myself they weren’t talking about me and took my shot, followed by two more.

Other than a few melancholy moments when Arnie’s name was mentioned, it was a light-hearted reunion. Until we went back to Matt’s room. We were falling up the stairs, clinging to each other for support as Matt fought to get his key in the door.

“Dude, come on,” Nick yelled a little too loudly.

“Shh! I almost got it,” Matt slurred and refocused on the lock.

“Let’s just go to my room.” Nick pointed to his door down the hall.

I didn’t really understand why he was pointing it out to me until I felt his hand slide down my back. Shit.

When Matt finally opened the door, we didn’t think about what came next. We fell into the room and stood uncomfortably in the cramped space, staring at the twin bed. I was horrified at the thought of Nick leaving me and Matt alone. When Matt made a bad joke about what side of the bed I preferred, I grabbed my bag and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth and escape the awkwardness. My mind was foggy from the alcohol, and I was starting to feel a bit dizzy. I couldn’t choose between them, not that I had a choice about who I would sleep with. I hoped they weren’t flipping a coin to see who got me. I decided I would tell them I would take the bed and they could sleep on the floor. I opened the door, ready to state my proposition, only to find Matt and Nick passed out on the bed. Joining them wasn’t an option. So I fished the keys from Nick’s jacket and went to his room. It was dark and messy with boxes, but I found the bed under a pile of clothes and passed out.

A few hours later I woke to the sound of the lock clicking open. I felt a cold chill run through me. I knew Will Walker was in jail, but I have this fear that one of his crew will come after me. The thought made my already weak stomach turn. My entire body tensed until I recognized the tall, muscular figure moving in the darkness. I didn’t know if I was strong enough to be alone with him. I closed my eyes and moved my head so the comforter shielded my face.

Nick made his way around the room. He was going through the boxes. Looking for something. The longer he stayed, the more I felt myself wanting to say something. The light from the hall was shining into the room. I peeked from under the covers and saw him pull his shirt off. I started to wonder if he was really looking for something to wear or was hoping I’d invite him to stay. He moved into the light and I stared at the muscles that rippled down his back. Just as I was starting to cave, he pulled a shirt over his head and left.

The next morning we had breakfast, and they drove me to the train. The weekend couldn’t have turned out any better. I had my two best friends back.

“Hi Nick, thanks for coming.” I leave Matt’s arms and go to him.

“You know I’ll always be here for you.” His arms, the shape of his body, the curve of his neck are so familiar to me. Hugging him is like going home. When I feel his lips on my cheek, I break away.

“Let’s go.” I take a deep breath, and I lead them into my childhood home.

It is exactly as we left it. The pillows on the sofa are perfectly aligned, and the curtains are pulled back just enough to let the afternoon sun brighten the room. I round the corner and peek into the kitchen, almost certain I’d find my mother standing at the counter pouring a glass of wine. The sight of her apron hanging on the hook next to the refrigerator gives me chills.

“Is this you?” Nick asks from the hall. Seeing the silhouette of Matt and Nick in my hallway is very surreal. Something I never thought possible. It’s like seeing a fish breathe out of water. I smile at the picture near Nick’s head. It was taken when I had just learned to walk.

“Jeez you were fat,” Matt teases. “Your mom must have put you on baby Weight Watchers.”

“Shut up.” I sock Matt in the arm and push them both out of the way. “It’s right here.” I point to the handle protruding from the ceiling. Nick barely has to tiptoe to reach it. He yanks on the handle and the hydraulic ladder unfolds in front of us.

They both marvel at the hidden door. Boys are so easy to impress.

The cobwebs and stale air of the attic overpower me. I pull my shirt over my mouth and swat at the webs until I reach the trunk.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving everything behind. I mean, you don’t even want the flat screen?” Matt asks in disbelief.

“I’m not leaving it behind. I’m selling it. I need the money.” The statement causes an awkward silence to fill the small, dusty space.

“Will you help me with this please?” I kick the trunk, and a lifetime of dust falls to the ground around our feet.

Matt and Nick pull the trunk to the middle of the attic and turn on the overhead light.

“What’s in it?” Nick asks as I open the lock.

The combination is my birth month, my mother’s day, and my father’s year. I recall the day he dragged me up here to teach it to me. He had me open the lock at least a dozen times. “My whole life,” I tell him as the lock clicks open. “All of my baby pictures and videos, old report cards and medical records. My mother called it my hope chest.”

Nick places his hand on my back and kisses the top of my head. This is hard. But them being here helps. We get through the top layer of the chest, pulling out old Halloween costumes and Christmas dresses. There’s a stack of photo albums and an old video marked “Best day of my life” in my father’s writing.

“Hmmm, wonder what this could be?” Matt holds the video up.

“It’s their wedding video, perv.” I snatch it from him and drop it into the chest. It makes a hollow sound when it hits the bottom.

Nick looks into the chest, then runs his hand along the side. “This chest has to be at least twenty inches deep. This can’t be the bottom.”

Matt looks over the side. “You’re right. This metal plate was screwed in.” He points to some brackets. The boys look at each other with mysterious grins. Matt and Nick scour the attic until they find an old tool kit.

“What’s the big deal?” I stand over the chest, protecting it. “What are you doing?”

Nick drops to his knees with a screw driver and starts removing the screws holding in the makeshift bottom.

“Wait.” I grab Matt’s hand when he reaches for the metal plate. “What if I’m not supposed to see what’s in there?”

“You said your parents saved this trunk for you, right?” Nick kisses my hand.

“Yes.” I shy away from his show of affection. Their little game of winning me over makes me uncomfortable at times. It’s just a game they play to make me blush.

“Then they wouldn’t put anything in here they didn’t want you to see,” Nick says.

“Yeah,” Matt agrees. “I’m sure they didn’t stash their honeymoon video in here or anything.”

He’s right. “Ok.” I sit back and let them remove the bottom.

Matt lifts the large metal plate and a low whistle escapes Nick’s lips. They look at each other with matching smiles.

“What is it?” I kneel over the chest and look inside. Even though this confirms every horrible thing the media and the police are saying about my father, a slow smile spreads across my face.

My mother called it my hope chest because one day she hoped to fill it with things I would use when I had a family. Only it isn’t filled with linens and china. It’s filled with perfectly stacked hundred dollar bills.

Like I said before, I couldn’t count on my father for much, but when he came through, he came through big.