“Hey, where did she see me?” Will spins me around. “What picture?”

“On her birthday. You were outside a restaurant.” I can tell by the look on his face that he knows what I’m talking about. “She’s my girlfriend.”

“Yeah, well, you’re young. You’ll get over it.” Will turns to go back in the bar, leaving me alone on the street.

“Hey!” A few of the cops that are still hanging around taking pictures to document the scene turn when I yell. “I LOVE HER!” I don’t care who hears me.

Will grabs the front of my shirt and throws me against the wall. “I get it, you love her, but you know what has to happen. Grow some balls and deal with it.”

I feel like spitting in his face and running to the cop with the camera and confessing everything I know. But I can’t do that. I can’t bust myself, because that would mean busting Matt and Aurora. I don’t have to worry about Arnie. Arnie got something far worse out of all this. I won’t hurt anyone else.

Will isn’t going to let this go. He’s going to find her. He has to get rid of her because he thinks she can identify him. He thinks she can, but the cops don’t know that. Will was right. If they had evidence, they would have arrested him. So, Dani really didn’t see anything.

Will drags me into the oversized closet that doubles as his office. I sit down and try to gain some composure. Will reaches into the bottom drawer of his desk, and for the first time in my life, I get nervous around my uncle. He pulls out a bottle of Patron and pours me a shot. “You need to chill.” He slides the glass across the desk to me, then takes out a bud and some rolling papers.

I drink the shot. It burns going down. The pain feels good. I reach for the bottle, but Will hands me a joint instead.

“You just lost your friend, I know what it’s like. I’ve lost a lot of good men. But you gotta man up. You dodged a bullet today. Be grateful.”

I light the joint and pretend to pay attention. The only thing on my mind is getting out of here alive and protecting Dani. I owe her so much more than an apology.

“As for your girl.” He pauses when I look up.

Don’t say her name. You don’t deserve to say her name.

“What does she know?”

He doesn’t know about our fight, he doesn’t know she probably called the cops by now. If I can convince him that I can control her, that I’m watching his back, then maybe I can stop him from going after Dani himself. “Nothing. She doesn’t know anything. I saw the picture, I figured it out on my own.” I won’t tell him Matt knows. I take a long drag and let the smoke overtake my lungs. The weed makes it a little easier to lie. “I asked her how her folks died, she said it was a carjacking. She was sleeping in the backseat and didn’t see anything. The cops are full of shit. You’re right, if they had proof, you’d be in cuffs. They’re fishing to see if you take the bait. If you go after her now, it’s like admitting you did it.”

Will reaches for the joint and I pass it to him. He takes a long drag.

“Alright, you watch her. Don’t let the cops get to her. And whatever you do, don’t tell her nothing about me. Sometimes witnesses’ get their memories back and want to testify to shit they didn’t see. If she doesn’t know I was involved, don’t give her any reason to. You got me?”

It’s too late for all that. She knows everything thanks to me and Matt. She’s probably calling the police right now. “I got you.” I hold out my fist and Will bumps it.

He hands me the joint, and there’s a knock on the door.

“Excuse me, Will.” Suzy comes in, followed by two cops.

“Mr. Walker, we just wanted to let you know we caught the shooters.”

I drop the joint to the floor and jump up.

“Who was it?” Will sits back in his chair like they’re telling him the score of the Giants’ game.

“One of the men was identified as Devon Brown.”

They tell us Devon and the other shooter sped through the Broadway tunnel and out onto Van Ness Avenue, where they are repaving the streets. Devon lost control when the bike hit uneven pavement and swerved in front of a Muni bus. He was killed on impact. The other guy is in critical condition.

After the cops leave, Will’s mood changes. “It looks like we just got Humboldt back.”

Like I give a fuck. My best friend is dead and the girl I love is on my uncle’s hit list. All I care about right now is making it right. I can’t let him know that. I play along. “Does that mean we’re back in business?” I lean back in the chair and balance on the hind legs.

“Let me make some calls first, but it should only be a couple days before I can get a new supply up to you.

I crack a smile and stand up. “Let’s make some paper.” Will stands and takes my hand, then pulls me in for a hug. My back straightens and I feel like head butting him. Instead, I pound his back twice and let go. I’ll let him believe its business as usual until I come up with a plan.

“You know I love you, kid.” Will looks me in the eye; he’s looking for the loyalty I’ve always shown him. “We’re going to do great things together.”

I smile and tell him I love him. He believes the lie. He thinks I have his back. I don’t. I’ll die before I let him get away with what he’s done to Dani.

I’m actually relieved when Mariann shows up. She doesn’t go inside the bar. She sends T in to get me. I’ve known T as long as I can remember. He went to school with my father. They were best friends. He’s always been like an uncle to me. He gives Will a dirty look, then gives me a bear hug and tells me she’s waiting outside in the SUV.

I open the back door and see my grandmother wiping tears. I look out the window and see the tow truck loading my car onto a flat bed. I don’t want the car, they can keep it. Burn it.

“Are you ok?” She reaches for me, then pulls back.

I tell her I’m fine.

“I called Arnie’s parents. I told them I’d help with the funeral.”

It’s so typical. Money solves all her problems. “Is that your answer to everything? Money? Some things can’t be bought. People can’t be bought!” She bought me from my mother, but she couldn’t buy my love, my loyalty, or my respect. Instead I gave it to Will. I thought he deserved it more than her. I was wrong. They were wrong. I have to make this right.

She wipes her eyes with a handkerchief and stares out the window. “I don’t know how to help you. You won’t let me in. I’ve tried everything. I don’t know what else I can do.”

I feel bad when I hear her crying. Did she try? Was she there for me? I’ve warped the truth so much I don’t know anymore.

“I want to help you, Nick. Just tell me what you need me to do.”

I need a way to get out of this without sending me and Matt and Aurora to jail. I need to find a way for the cops to get the evidence they need to bust Will for murdering Dani’s parents. I need to make this right.

“Do you know anyone in the San Francisco Police Department?”

I wonder what it must feel like to lose a child. I wonder if it hurts more than a child losing a parent. Loss is loss, I guess. Lucy didn’t even know Arnie and she’s taking it hard. Maybe because she keeps thinking it could’ve been me. She’s been watching me like a hawk since the morning she woke me with the news.

I was dripped in sweat and barely sleeping. You don’t really sleep when you’re on that much thizz. Your body conforms to the element you place yourself in. The way some people will sit for hours with a bottle of lotion, while others dance and dance and dance. I like to kick back and just feel the moments. Feel the tingles and the good vibes. I laid on my bed Friday night, turned on the radio, closed my eyes, and stayed like that for nearly twelve hours. My body looked relaxed, but my brain stayed on. I thought about Nick, the way he looked at me in his cottage. I actually saw the moment he started to hate me. I thought about Lucy and Johnson and their baby. As long as I’m here, they aren’t safe. I thought about leaving, the places I’d go. The people I’d meet. Imaginary friends I’d make. Ones that would never know the real me. The real Dani is dead. I killed her.