“Are you sure you want to do this? Maybe we should call someone first.”

“Who am I going to call?”

“I don’t know, the cops?” he suggests, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“I have to talk to him first. I owe him at least that.” Nick will make all of this right. He will straighten out his uncle and clear the air. I know he will. He loves me no matter what.

Nick’s cottage is hidden deep in the back of the property. The moss-covered building looks like it belongs in the Amazon jungle. Bamboo shoots line the sides and the heavy overgrowth of foliage offers ample privacy. Even though we are surrounded by fragrant trees and flowers, the smell of marijuana overpowers them all.

Matt walks up the two short steps to the door and knocks, something I’m sure he has never done before.

“S’up, Matty?” Nick doesn’t see me on the landing. “What are you doing here?” He opens the screen and moves back inside.

“Dude, wait.” Matt holds the screen door open and I step around him.

I wouldn’t say Nick is disappointed to see me, but his reaction is definitely not something I’ve seen before.

“Dani?” He looks at Matt then holds his hand out to me. “Come in.”

Nick’s cottage is a mess. There are hats and t-shirts strewn all over the main room. The marijuana smell barely masks the stench of old food and dirty clothes.

The cottage has an open-floor plan. The main room flows into the kitchen, and there is a small breakfast nook in the corner. The main room and kitchen are separated by a granite counter. I stand in the center of the main room while Nick places dirty dishes in the sink.

“Can I get you a drink?” He opens his fridge, and I look at Matt. He leans against the wall near the door, waiting for me to say something. Nick closes the refrigerator and catches us staring at each other. “You guys are making me nervous.” Nick looks at Matt. Matt looks at me. I look at the picture in my hand. I forgot I was even holding it.

“What’s going on?” He moves from the kitchen to the middle of the room. He’s equal distance from me and Matt.

This is it. I have to tell him everything. He will protect me, I know he will. “Matt and I were in computer class today and I showed him my family page. You know the one I’ve been working on.” Nick nods his head. “There was this picture from my birthday. Matt said the man in the picture is your uncle Will.” I pause for a second before delivering Matt’s theory, but Nick doesn’t give me a chance to finish.

“No way.” Nick looks at Matt. “No.” Matt nods one time and looks at the floor.

The look on Nick’s face confirms everything Matt told me, and I realize why he was so scared to come here. He knows more than he let on. He knows for a fact that Will Walker killed my parents.

“FUCK!” Nick screams and throws the bottle of water in his hand. It bursts against the wall beside me. “No fucking way!”

I stumble back and fall onto the couch. Nick paces the room, and Matt rushes to my side.

“Dude, calm down. We don’t know anything for sure.” Matt motions for me to stand up.

Nick keeps pacing.

Matt grips my hand as we move towards the door. Nick stops and leans on the counter that separates the kitchen from the living room. He puts his head in his hands. “I thought your parents were carjacked?”

I want to go to him, to comfort him, but Matt won’t let me.

Nick looks up. He looks at me and my heart snaps in half.

He hates me.

“Not exactly,” Matt starts to answer for me. I pull his hand to stop him.

I want to be the one to tell him. “My father’s name was Bill Batista. My name is Danielle Batista. My parents were shot and killed in our SUV while I slept in the backseat.” I start to cry. “I didn’t see anything. I didn’t see who shot them. I woke up after…” Matt takes me in his arms and rubs my back. I’m sobbing into his chest, wondering why it isn’t Nick that’s comforting me. I wipe the tears from my eyes and turn around.

Nick swears under his breath and pounds his fist on the counter. I wait for him to calm down. I wait for him to come to me. To tell me everything is ok. He doesn’t say any of those things. After a long silence, Nick finally looks at me. “I want to see the picture.” He spits the words at me, like I’m a liar. Like I’m a killer.

Tears stream down my cheeks. Matt puts his arm around me and pulls me towards the door. Matt. My friend. My best friend. He is the only one here who cares about me.

“I’ll take Dani home to get it then I’ll be back, alright?”

I don’t want to go. I want to give Nick another chance. He’s in shock. He isn’t thinking straight.

Nick’s eyes drop from my face to my hand in Matt’s. Matt notices it too and grips it even harder. Matt takes another step towards the door. I don’t move.

I fling the picture on the floor. “Here,” I cry. “Here’s your proof!”

Matt scrambles to pick it up and lets me go in the process. He picks up the crumpled photo and places it on the counter in front of Nick. Nick barely looks at it. He doesn’t need to. He knows Will killed my parents and wants to kill me. He knows some part of him wants me dead, too.

He looks at me like I’m the enemy, like I’m the one ruining his life. I charge towards him. “Don’t you care that your uncle is a murderer!” I scream in his face. “Don’t you care about how I feel? Don’t you care about me?” My body is heavy with grief as Matt pulls me away.

Nick doesn’t reach for me to stay.

He doesn’t say he’ll protect me or make it right.

He doesn’t tell me he loves me.

He lets Matt take me out of his cottage.

He lets Matt walk me back to the car.

Nick lets me go.

Matt drives me home and insists he wait with me to tell Lucy. I convince him that it’s best for me to talk to her alone. He doesn’t know she’s spending the weekend at Johnson’s to celebrate their impending parenthood. This is the happiest day of her life. I won’t ruin it.

I lock the doors, pull the bag of pills from my desk drawer, and swallow two.

An hour later I take two more. I follow this pattern until the bag is empty.

I don’t know what I was thinking.

I wasn’t thinking. I just let her go.

I need to get to the city. I need to talk to Will.

I fly down the road, away from my house, and skid across the intersection.

I close my eyes at the light and see her face. She fucking hates me. I hate me.

Why didn’t I go to her? I should go see her now. I want to, but I don’t know what to say.

What can I say? I’m sorry I wanted to kill you. Sorry I didn’t give a shit that my uncle shot your parents?

Matt is right, I don’t deserve her.

I never did.

I need to talk to Will. I need to make this right. I can’t call him. I need to see him face to face. I want to tell him how much she means to me, even if she hates me. I want to tell him not to hurt her.

I’m stuck at the light on Myrtle when I see Arnie fly by on his scooter. I make a crazy U-turn and follow him into the parking lot of the café.

“Dude! Check this out.” Arnie waves a piece of paper in his hand.

“Get in!” I don’t have time to dick around or the patience to listen to one of his stories.

“Wait, I need to go see Dani.” He revs his scooter and moves around my car.

“She’s not there,” I yell out the window. I wonder where she is, if she’s with Matt.

She belongs with Matt. She always did.

Arnie pulls into an empty space in front of the café to park his scooter. Mary walks out to wipe down a table. Our table. It’s not our table anymore. I fucked up. I let her go.

“Come on!” I yell. I don’t know what Mary knows. If Dani told her about the picture. I need to get to Will. I don’t trust anyone.