I relived it all, and sitting here on my couch alone is just making the memories start to flood back. What good did I think leaving work would do? Now, I have nothing to keep the memories and guilt at bay. When my phone dings, I’m relieved for the reprieve from the memories of that night.

Ellie: Hey. Lunch?

Me: Perf, bitch. Deets.

Perfect. Just what I need.

I’d love to stay with Benton, but he seems hell bent on being with just me. I’m not sure if I could do that. I want to, but it scares me. I can’t even imagine myself with anyone else but Ellie and Benton, and, recently, Ellie’s been so needy that she’s not even really doing it for me. The amount of texts that she sends me, and the amount of pouty faces I get when I tell her I’m with Benton, is insane.

Sure, she’s nice to me. Sure, she’s a good lay. But, let’s be real here, I like the D… and Benton has a very nice one to ride. Unless Ellie can find a Benton sized strap-on, it looks like I’ll be keeping the D for a while.

If he’ll still have me, that is.

Making it to the restaurant, I cringe at the people waiting in line. Fuck, I don’t want to do this! I hate crowds, I hate lots of noises in one place… I just can’t do it. Waiting here is a no go.

“Gabby!” I hear Ellie call from inside the restaurant.

Thank fuck.

“Hey,” I smile, making a bee line for her, through the massive blob of people who are angry and waiting. “How’d you get in here?” I ask, astonished that she was able to get a table by just walking in.

“The girls are over here. They already had one, so they just pulled up a few more chairs! So awesome, right?!”

“Sure, if you like fake plastics,” I mumble, following her to a table full of everything I never want to be. Fake tits, fake lips, fake hips, fake hair…. Everything on these girls screams ‘fake’; even their smiles are obviously forced.

“Be nice, Gabby,” she warns, taking my hand as we walk towards the table.

Why does this feel so forced? Why don’t I want to be here with her right now?

Typically, I’d be happy to be out of the office, but my mind can’t stop playing last night out, over and over.  He just walked out, like it wasn’t hurting him a bit that he was walking away from me. I guess he wasn’t as attached to me as I would’ve liked him to be. Why I want him to be, I’m not sure, but, if I’m getting attached, I was hoping he was too. Now, I sit here at lunch at a brilliant restaurant, and all I can think of is the terrible cinnamon rolls that Benton made us a few weeks ago for breakfast. Everything reminds me of him. It’s terrible. I need to be okay that he left me, but I can’t be. I still want him, even if I don’t deserve him. I need to figure this shit out, and I can’t do that while sitting at a table full of fake Barbie wannabes and MILFs.

“Hey, I’m heading to the bathroom,” I whisper, leaning in to Ellie a little too far and brushing my lips against her ear. She gasps, then giggles, taking that as an invite to come with. Great.

“Okay.” She winks and I sigh.

Honestly, it’s been a week or so since I’ve been with her sexually, and I’m okay if we don’t do that anymore. I’d really like to keep her around for the companionship, but my sexual satisfaction comes from Benton and his beautiful package.

The tattoos, the nipple piercings, the fucking muscles. They all make for one very perfect package. One very perfect package that I’m trying to talk myself out of enjoying anymore. What the hell’s wrong with me?

Walking into the bathroom, as soon as I go to lock the door, I feel the handle turn. About to tell the person on the other side of the door to knock that shit off and learn to knock, Ellie comes sneaking through the door like she just stole something.

“Nice,” she whistles, locking the door behind her. “Single family bathrooms.” She stops perusing the bathroom long enough to lock her gaze with me.

She’s a pretty laid back person, but, in situations like this, she turns into the strongest dominant I’ve ever met.

“You been having fun with that penis of yours?” she quips, walking towards me. Stalking is more like it, like a lion does to their prey.

“Benton. I’ve been enjoying time with him, yes. Problem?” I say, backing myself up against the wall of the bathroom. Typically, I’d be excited for this, for the play of power, but something in my brain is screaming at me that this is all wrong. I don’t really want to be with her. I don’t really want to have a girl anymore. I just want Benton. Whatever I can give him, I want to, but I don’t want Ellie anymore.

Right?

“Gabby, really?” Her hands trace down my collar bone. “You’re just going to stand here and tell me you like it more than me?” She grins, and her lips come to my ear lobe. “You like his lips on you better than mine.” She kisses right behind my ear, and brings chills to my body. “You like his hands on you better than mine,” she whispers, as her fingers caress down my neck and slowly make their way up and under my dress. “You like big, meaty man hands shoving inside of you, rather than delicate, loving female hands?” Her fingers push inside me, her teeth biting down on my neck, and I gasp. Typically, I’d be all about this, but her actions are doing nothing for me. I’m just barely wet, and that’s only because the side of my neck is an immediate turn on spot for me… no matter who you are.

Fuck, I’m not even attracted to her anymore! When did this happen?!

“Not even a little bit, huh?” she pulls her fingers out, and I flinch. Fuck, Gabby!

“S- sorry,” I manage, embarrassed with this whole show.

“You know what I think? I think you really want him. I also think he left you last night, because why else would you look like that?” she waves to my outfit and cringes. “And why else would you be able to take a lunch break this long if you hadn’t called into work sick today because you’re just heartbroken that your boy toy broke it off?” She pouts her bottom lip out, and I shake my head. Mainly because I’m pissed she’s right. “Tell ya what, Gab. I’m leaving this room… I’m leaving the restaurant, and whenever you get your head out of his golden ass, come find me. I may still be available.” She huffs, then opens the door, slipping out before letting it click behind her.

Fuck!

Both of them in less than a day! Leaning back against the wall again, I contemplate what just happened.

I wasn’t wet for her. I’m not turned on by her anymore. Does this mean what I think it does? I think so, but I’m not sure what to do with it. Do I pursue him, give him the chance to make up for walking out? Do I find someone else to fill the void that’s now in my life due to both of them walking out on me?

It doesn’t take long for me to realize one thing: I’m in a bathroom in a very busy restaurant, and there’s probably people gathering outside my door. Great. Collecting my wits, I go to open the door and head home, only to slam into the rock hard, delicious smelling chest that I can’t stop thinking about.

“Benton, what the fu-”

Before I can get the rest of my words out, his lips are on mine, and he’s pushing me back into the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind him. Without words, he spins me and slams me to the door.

“Enjoying your work day, Gabby?” he growls, his hands cupping my breasts, as he slams his lips to mine again. All I can do is moan as he squeezes and caresses my nipples to hardened peaks. “How about that lunch fuck, how was that? She wasn’t in here very long,” he considers, flicking his glance to mine as his fingers travel up my neck. “Nice to know you’re having a good day ‘at work’, Gabby,” he rumbles. His lips crush to mine again, and his hands wrap around me, gripping my ass as my arms go around him. I press my body against his, and feel him hardening for me. Fuck, that’s hot.

“Benton, I’m so-”

“No.” He backs away, releasing me, and leaving me cold from his sudden movement. “You don’t get to talk. Just listen. I have an appointment this afternoon, but tonight you better fucking be home. I won’t have long, but I have a few very important things to say to you.” He curses and runs his hands down his face. “Go home, Gabby. Obviously, you’re not working today, but I’ve got a very important meeting that’s about to happen. I need you out of this restaurant, so that I can focus on that, and not worry about who you’re screwing in the bathroom.” His lip quirks up in a grin, and his eyes gleam. “Unless it’s me.”