“Sure,” I say smiling. He takes my hand and leads me on a walk. Before I know it, we’re in the last place I ever imagined we’d end up.
The building we first met at: my old apartment complex.
“Benton, what the hell are we doing here?” I ask, suddenly confused and worried he’s going to tell me to move back in here. What if he pulled strings and got me my apartment back? I can’t… he doesn’t want me? “Are you telling me to move back in?” I whisper, eyes wide, staring at him as he grins at me.
“Relax, babe.” He pulls out a black tie from his back pocket and smiles. “Sorry, but I have to.”
“Over my eyes?! What the hell, Benton?” I huff when he wraps the tie around my face. “I’m gonna fall.”
“I’ve got you,” he says, taking my hand and leading me inside. I didn’t live in this building too long, but I remember it like the back of my hand. He’s taking me to the roof.
The roof?
“Okay… so I have to take this off, but I need you to promise to keep your eyes closed. Can you do that?” His breath on my ear, I feel the heat pool between my legs at his proximity. I nod my head silently and, as he slips off the tie, I squeeze my eyes closed, keeping to my promise.
I don’t know how long I stand there, and I try to use my other senses to figure out what’s going on, but I get nothing. I never really knew this building had a rooftop where people can go and hang out at… probably because I never tried having many social gatherings.
I’m not a huge fan of crowds.
“Okay,” I hear him say from somewhere nearby. “You can open your eyes.”
I take a breath and slow open my eyes to reveal what he seemed so weird about tonight. Everywhere there are lanterns strung, lighting a path to Benton. My Benton.
“What is this?” I whisper as I slowly make my way to him. As I pass by a lantern, I notice they aren’t just paper lanterns. They have images on them.
Images of me. Images of us. Pictures I never knew he took cover each paper lantern. He had these made?
When I look up at him, he’s smiling gently, watching my reaction to his obvious love for me.
“These are beautiful,” I whisper, walking by a lantern scattered with images of Hannah and I. Candid pictures I don’t remember him taking.
“They are how I see you, Gabby. Every image on these shows you how beautiful you really are. You don’t see yourself like I do. I see a beautiful, strong woman who loves the people closest to her unconditionally. I see a woman with a broken past, but not a broken woman. I see a strong fighter, not a weak girl.” He smiles his famous smile, and I see a slight twinkle in his eyes.
At this point, I’m not entirely sure what to think of this whole thing. Am I being proposed to, or is this is a romantic gesture for him to show me how much he really loves me?
“Gabby, I love you.” His hands come around my face and he kisses me gently and quick.
“I love you too, but I don’t get the rooftop… Benton, I hate heights,” I whisper, flicking my gaze over to the side rail that’s way too close for comfort.
“I know,” he grins. “Gabby, I trust you with my world. I’ve never been afraid that you’re not going to take care of my child, and I can’t stand it when you aren’t with me. Even at work, I find myself getting upset that you aren’t there with me.” He chuckles and shakes his head. “Before we go on, though… I have to admit something. You’re not going to be happy with it, but I can’t see us going on with me keeping something like this from you. The reason I’ve been so distant and tired this last week is because I’ve been pulling split shifts with work. I’ve actually taken a lot of time off-”
“What?” I blurt, cutting into his speech. I knew something was up, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. He wouldn’t go through all this trouble to set this up for me if he were telling me he’s been cheating. No… I know he loves me, but I’m afraid what he’s about to tell me is going to crush me.
I opened my heart, and he’s about to destroy it.
“Don’t get worked up… I just… shit,” he huffs, backing away from me and dropping his hands. “I saw your reaction to the news about your mom, I know what she did to your past… I couldn’t have that again. Gabby, I followed you and Hannah each time you went out this week-”
“You what?! Benton, that’s crazy!”
“I trust you, Gabby. I do, with my entire heart, so don’t think this is about me not trusting you. It’s about me not trusting other people out there and not being able to live with myself if something happened to either of you two because of someone else’s crazy.”
“Benton, I-”
“I’m not telling you to start a fight, or to tell you I don’t love you, or any of that. I love you. I love you so much I’d die if anything happened to you.”
“Don’t say that,” I whisper, still trying to accept the fact that he followed us.
I feel like I should be angry with him, but I know he trusts me, or else he wouldn’t have left Hannah with me. I actually feel more loved… more cherished. He’s been putting himself through hell this week just to keep us safe. He’s no knight… and there’s no shiny armor or expensive cars or mansions in the country… but he’s mine and he’s perfect.
“I want to show you something,” he says, holding his hand out.
He’s going to walk me to the edge. I know it. I can’t do it. I can’t walk to the edge of this rooftop. I don’t even know why this rooftop. I don’t understand what’s about to happen, but I can’t do what he wants me to do.
“Gabby,” he says, breaking into my mental breakdown. My eyes flick to his, and I see the glisten in them again. He’s grinning and holding his hand out still, waiting for me. Can I do this? What if I fall? What if the balcony collapses and he falls? I can’t live without him? “Gabby, do you trust me?”
“Yes,” I whisper without hesitation.
“I won’t let anything bad happen to you, Gabby. Please….” He’s begging me silently to trust him.
I do trust him. He wouldn’t ever put me in danger.
I hesitantly take his hand, and he releases a breath I didn’t even know he was holding. My heart is racing, but I slowly make the steps it takes to get to the banister with him.
“Look down,” he whispers, noticing I won’t take my eyes off him.
“I can’t,” I whisper. He smiles sadly, then leans in and whispers in my ear. “I need you to trust me that nothing bad will happen. I just need you to look down.” His breath is hot on my skin, making every part of me tingle for him.
I do trust him. He wouldn’t put me in danger.
I nod and muster up a courageous smile, then turn my head gently and peek over the edge. What I see takes my breath away.
“Oh my god, Benton,” I manage, feeling the tears well in my throat. That knot that I felt because of fear is now there because of pure happiness and love. Spelled out on the sidewalk below in glowing candles are the words “Marry Me, Gabby.” Holy shit!
I turn to face him, his face is beaming, and he’s holding out a little black box.
Holy fuck.
“Gabby Rosdale, I love you more than life itself. I can’t live without you.” He opens the box revealing a diamond ring, sparkling from the lights hanging above us. “Bad things happen, Gabby. Life is random, but love is true. I’m sticking with you through this, thick and thin. We’ll figure this out together, day by day… but I know I need you there with me. Throughout the beautiful times and the ugly.”
“I can’t believe you did this,” I whisper, looking all around and taking everything in. “How long… How did you?”
“Gabby, I’m standing here asking you to marry me and you’re worried about how long it took me to plan this?” He’s smiling, and on the verge of laughter. Cracking a smile, I lock eyes with him and see the man I fell in love with. Under all the drama we have in our lives, all the sadness and heartbreak, we still have each other. I love him.