“Why do you think she’s even after you anyway? I mean… what’d you ever do to her that would make her want revenge this far in the future?” He throws another shirt on to get ready for his evening workout, and I hold back the drool.

“Uh… I don’t know.” I shrug. “Being born?”

“That’s not funny, Gab. I, for one, am glad you were born,” he says kissing me gently.

“Mhmm… who knows? You know what, it’s all going to be okay. She’s probably just running from the cops and not actually out there looking for me,” I say, trying to make myself believe the words I’m saying.

I don’t, but I need to. I need to… because we all need to be okay.

We will be, too.

We’ll be fine.

Benton

Trust

“Dude, you look like shit,” Adam says as I walk into the break room to grab my third cup of coffee this morning. It’s only 9AM. I’ve only been here for an hour, and downed more coffee that I usually do in an entire day. I thought being a parent brought on a lack of sleep, but that’s nothing to these past few days of pulling double time following Gabby and Hannah around town.

I’m not sure how she can feel so comfortable with taking Hannah out and about like she has been with her mom still on the loose, but, if she’s comfortable, I trust her. She wouldn’t put my daughter in danger. She loves her.

Just watching her care for Hannah makes me love her more and more. Each time I see her, my heart swells with pride that she’s finally coming out of her flashback haze she seemed to be in for a while there. I think being around Hannah has been truly good for her. Now, if only I could learn to juggle working full time and keeping up with my normal work flow, as well as being a good partner and parent when I’m home and not a walking zombie PLUS secretly watching my girlfriend and daughter every time they leave the house, I’d be fantastic. Unfortunately, at this rate, I’m wearing down fast.

“I know.” I grumble something to Adam then head back to my office with two mugs of coffee. I have too much shit to get done this morning, and, this afternoon, Gabby is planning another trip to the park, so it’s going to be another day of working my ass off, sitting in a car watching my girlfriend to make sure she’s safe, then staying up all night to finish work.

Who needs sleep, anyway?

“So, you good for Friday night?” Adam asks, breaking my concentration on the files in front of me.

“I’m your best man. I better be ready,” I grumble.

“Will you have that stick up your ass the entire night, or can you pull it out before then?”

“Sorry man, but this whole playing two different roles is starting to wear on me. It’s only been a few days, but I’m so goddamned tired.” I lean back in my seat and sigh, running my hands down my face.

“You know, if you would just talk to her about it, you wouldn’t be in this situation?”

“Right. And then piss her off because she’ll think I don’t trust her.” I do trust her.

It’s everyone else I don’t trust.

“She’s not stupid, man. Give her more than that. Gabby knows there’s a danger out there right now,” he says, shrugging.

I told him yesterday, finally, what’s been going on when he called me out on being completely off my game lately. Even when Hannah was a newborn, I wasn’t this scatter brained. She slept well at night; she didn’t cry too much. She hasn’t been a sick baby, thank God. Parenthood so far has been easy… way easier than making sure a crazy person doesn’t kill your girlfriend and daughter.

I spend the rest of the morning locked in my office with no one around to bother me. I have to get some of these papers filed, and emails answered, before I break to watch Gabby. It sounds creepy as fuck, but I don’t care. I want her to trust me, I want her to know I trust her… but I need those two safe. If this is the only way to make sure that happens, then I’ll do whatever it takes.

By the time I’m finally on my way to the park, I’m starving and angry that I forgot lunch again today. Fuck! My mind seriously needs to get used to this new schedule. And my dick needs to get in line, too. We haven’t had sex in days because I’ve been so stressed and tired. I know she knows something’s up, but I can’t tell her.

My phone rings as I watch the woman I love play with my daughter at the park near my place. Picking it up, I see my dad’s face on the screen.

“Hey, Dad,” I answer, not taking my eyes off Gabby. The park is busier than normal for the middle of the week. I can’t lose sight of them or I’ll never find them.

“Hey Benton, how’s things going? I didn’t catch you at a bad time, did I?”

‘Nah... Just on my lunch break,” I answer with half honestly. The gas station sandwich on my passenger seat is lunch, technically.

“I haven’t heard from you lately. Just checking in on my granddaughter. Am I still watching her this weekend?”

I smile, knowing how excited he is to have her all to himself this weekend. This will be good for Gabby and me. We need this time to work on us… and to fuck.

Jesus, I need to fuck her.

“Yeah. I’ll have Gabby bring her over early on Friday if that’s okay. They have girl stuff to do for the wedding, so she’s gotta get going pretty early.”

“Oh Gabby… that’s good, good.”

“Yeah… She’s moving in with us, Dad.”

I’m met with silence for a moment before he finally speaks again.

“Good. I’m happy for you, Benton.”

“Thanks, Pop.”

“Do you love her?” he asks, uncharacteristically. He never wants to talk about shit like this.

“I do. A lot.” I answer as honestly as I can without getting mushy with my dad.

“Treat her right, Benton. You never know when will be your last day with her.”

His words remind me that it hasn’t been that long at all since he lost the love of his life… my mother. I miss her every day, but I know how to cope with an unexpected death. Just don’t dwell on the bad, and you’ll make it through the day. Each day you make it through gets easier and easier until one day you only remember the good things.

“I will, Dad.” I watch Hannah start to cry from the swing she’s in, and Gabby immediately takes her out and walks her around, bouncing her gently to calm her.

So fucking beautiful.

When she puts her back in the stroller, I know I’m parked in a spot that they’ll see me when they walk by, so I have to focus on getting out of the way before they come by.

“Listen, Dad, I’m about finished with my lunch and have a call coming in. Can I talk to you tomorrow?”

“Absolutely.”

“Bye, dad.”

“Bye, Son. Tell Gabby hi, and hug my granddaughter for me.” He hangs up before I can reply, and I’m able to finally move and find a different perspective to watch them walk home.

Gabby’s texted a few times today, and she always texts when they are locked back inside the apartment, but I can’t answer until I’m out of her sight. I don’t want her to think I’m free when I’m sitting here watching her. I don’t really have a reason for it, but I know that she can’t find out.

She’s so fucking beautiful walking down the street with Hannah bundled up in the stroller. Every day here gets colder and colder. Soon, the winter is going to hit and these walks to the park will come to a halt. Hopefully sooner than that, Gabby’s mom will be found and I can stop worrying about them every time they go out while I’m at work.

I love Gabby, and watching her interact with my daughter puts the thought in my mind that I need her to be my wife. It’s crossed my mind plenty in the past few months, but it’s not until today that I realize the seriousness of it all.

I need her… forever.

I’m doing everything I can to keep her safe, but, when she’s married to me, she’ll be mine for good and I’ll always be able to keep her safe. Always.