“Yeah… no. Definitely not. Not a good idea,” he scoffs. “She’s fucking nuts.”

“Don’t you ever fucking say that again, Adam.” The growl that comes out of me takes him aback and he cocks his head at me. “She’s not fucking crazy. She’s stronger than you and I put together. She’s a fucking fighter; she’s just broken. If you ever pull an asshole stunt again like you did with her, I’ll rip your balls off and feed them to the birds.”

“You love her, don’t you?” He grins and slides his hands in his pockets.

“I do,” I say, standing. “It’s insane how much I love her. I’ve never felt like this before,” I admit.

“Carly?” He raises his eyebrows.

“It’s an asshole thing to say, but, by the time Carly and I were into the adult stage of our relationship, we were already past the ‘honeymoon’ phase and well into the ‘I’m used to you so I don’t have to impress you’ phase. I’m not used to these grown up feelings I have for Gabby. Don’t get me wrong. I loved Carly with my entire heart, and there’s a part of me that will always… always… belong to her. She helped give me Hannah, she molded who I am today… she was my first love,” I whisper. “But she’s gone, and she’s not coming back. Gabby is here, and I know I love her. Hard. I’m going to help her, Adam.”

He smiles and nods slowly.

“Alright. Sounds good. I’ll help any way I can… you know that.”

“Yeah, thanks, man. A-Team and all that shit,” I say, chuckling. He laughs loud and sighs.

“Alright... get to work, slacker. You’ve got shit to do, and I have to make myself look busy while you run my business,” he says laughing.

Saluting him, I chuckle as I walk to my office. The entire time I’m working, I can’t stop thinking about Gabby and what happened to her. I wonder how she’s really dealing with it. I wonder if she’s on meds and what kind. I wonder how often she meets with Dr. T. Then, I wonder if I can really help her.

I can. I know I can.

By the time I make it to daycare to get Hannah, I’m ready to eat and relax. Even after an entire afternoon working, I still feel like I didn’t really get anything done. I have a new client meeting tomorrow that I didn’t prepare for. Adam wants to talk about the prostitutes he wants to employ, which pisses me off. I couldn’t stop thinking about Gabby all damn day, and my secretary was useless, letting calls come in every five minutes.

Useless.

When my phone rings after I finally have Hannah in bed, I smile at her picture on my screen.

My Gabby.

“Hey you,” I say smiling. “How was your day?”

“Ugh,” she moans and I immediately feel my dick harden for her. Shit this woman. “I’ve been job hunting all afternoon and so far nothing full time has come up. I’m starting to worry I won’t find anything in time to pay my next month’s rent.”

“I have faith, Gabby. You’re a smart girl. If I had my way, I’d be able to force the firm to take you back.” I hate that they let her go, but they claimed downsizing for the layoff.

I call bullshit, but I’m just a silent investor with no say in who they hire and fire.

“No. I don’t want to go back there. I don’t want a pity job. I just… I can’t be without my apartment. I guess I could move back in with my mom but-”

“No!” I blurt. She can’t do that! “I respect your choices, Gabby, but that’s a terrible idea.”

“I know it is, but, baby, I don’t really have any other choice. If I can’t pay, they kick me out. There’s no way I’m living on the streets.”

“Move in with me,” I blurt without even thinking about what I’m actually saying.

When silence meets me, I know I said the wrong thing.

“Um…” she says finally after what seems like a lifetime of silence. “Let’s just think about this and maybe I’ll find something in time.” It’s a very nice way of telling me no. “Listen… I uh… I have to go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow okay?”

“Sure, yeah. Can you come over after I get off work tomorrow? I’ll make dinner.”

“Yeah… Yeah. I’ll be there. I have to go. Bye.” She hangs up quickly, and I’m left standing in my bedroom staring at my phone shaking my head.

Damnit.

I should’ve known not to push her that fast, especially after her just admitting her real feelings to me last night. I should’ve known she’d be skittish about relationship things. She was raw last night; open. She didn’t hold anything back.

Except for the fact about her blacking out.

Shit! I meant to ask her about that. Should I confront her about it, or should I just leave it be and make sure there’s not a chance it can happen again? I’m not sure about how her day went the rest of the day today, but even last night while telling me everything about what happened with her son and her boyfriend she didn’t have a panic attack so that means she’s probably getting over it, right?

Either way, I know for a fact that she can’t be with Hannah alone anymore. Not for a while, at least.

The rest of the week goes by without incident. If Gabby has any panic attacks, it’s not when she’s with me. She seems stable mentally, but she still hasn’t found a job. I worry about her going back with her family. Her mom, from the sounds of it, was terrible to her. She can’t live in that again. Even as an adult, I know that people just don’t get over their abusive nature. I won’t let her go back there.

“Hey, you ready?” she asks, popping her head in Hannah’s room. We’re heading out to see my dad this afternoon. A much needed day out of the city.

“Just about. Her stupid dress… button… thing…” I mumble, trying to figure out the snaps on this horrible concoction. Why are little girls so hard to dress?

Gabby laughs and walks over to where I’m kneeling on the floor. Stooping down, she picks up Hannah and laughs at me while walking to her closet. She acts so natural with her, and I now know why. She did this before. She raised a baby… for… uh…

“How old was he?” I blurt.

“Hmm?” She turns and looks at me curiously. I probably shouldn’t have chosen this time to talk about it, but I’m curious and I need to know.

“How old was you son?”

Her eyebrows pull together, and she cocks her head at me, glancing at Hannah and taking a long breath.

“He was just a couple months old,” she whispers, tucking Hannah’s hair behind her ear. “Noah.” She looks up at me. “Noah was his name.”

Now I understand a little more why Gabby’s been having a hard time with this. She never got to see her own son at the age that Hannah is at now. She never got to experience these moments with him.

“You sure you’re okay with… well, with all of this?” I whisper, walking over to her. I place my hands on her hips, ducking my head to make her look at me and, when she does, I see the tears forming in her light brown eyes. “Baby,” I whisper, leaning in and kissing her forehead.

“I just want to make you guys happy… and I don’t want to hurt you… and when we’re here, in this apartment, I know we’re safe and can’t get hurt. Out there, though… there’s crazies, and tractors, and killers, and the big mean world and I can’t…” She’s crying harder now, but, when I go to take Hannah from her arms, she resists. “No. No I need to hold her. I need her.” Her pained whisper makes my heart break for everything she lost. For everything she is still going through.

When she pulls Hannah into an embrace, and kisses the top of her head, my love for her swells to levels I didn’t know existed. She loves this little girl… my little girl. She loves her, and wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt her.

“I’m going to pack the car,” I whisper, gently kissing Gabby on the forehead, then doing the same to Hannah.

My two girls.

“You do that.” She takes a deep breath and wipes her eyes. “I’m going to get this little one the best outfit ever.”

I don’t bring it up because she’s already upset, but I’ve been struggling lately making Hannah look ‘girly cute’ like she used to.  My mom used to love helping out with her outfits, but, ever since she passed, I haven’t been able to make things match up right. Too many frills, and different shades of pink, and buttons and bows…. It’s all just a huge mess. Time with Gabby will be good for Hannah.