“Hey now, calm the fuck down. We’re just here to help, Benton. Shit’s deep… I’m not even sure you’re aware of it but she’s got issues. I… we… just want to make sure you both are on the same page. You have a kid, man… you don’t need to be involved with someone that’s going to bring you down.”

“Adam don’t make it seem like she’s a bad person!” Annaliese says angrily. She turns her gaze to me and smiles sadly. “We’re worried about you both because we love you both, Benton.”

“Fuck,” I say, sighing and glancing to the bathroom door. “Just tell me what it is.” I’m pleading, but I have to know. I just want to fix her. We stand in my foyer, staring at Annaliese, waiting for her to say something… anything… but she’s too nervous. Right as she opens her mouth to start to talk I hear Gabby behind me.

Shit.

“Ann? Adam?” Gabby says from behind me.

Fuck.

“Oh God, Gabby you’re okay.” Annaliese runs to her and hugs her while Adam just stands there, stern, shaking his head.

“What the hell is wrong with you, man?” Why’s he look so angry towards her?

“She tell you how she found Gabby today, dude?” he asks.

“No,” I whisper, watching Annaliese fuss over her best friend.

“She’d been calling and texting for days. Ever since she heard of her being ‘laid off’ from the lawyers place, she’s been trying to get a hold of her. Apparently, Gabby shut down, dude. She was out of it when Ann arrived today. Add to it the drama shit that happened to her all those years ago? Chick’s got skeletons, man. I don’t want you unhappy, Benton. Shit, I love the thought of you two together, but you don’t need that drama in your life. She needs to fess up or get the fuck out.”

“Excuse me?” Gabby’s surprised voice comes from behind me, and I want to reach out and slug Adam.

He just doesn’t think about other people’s feelings.

“What? I’m just warning my best friend that his ‘girlfriend’,” he exaggerates with air quotes. “Is a PTSD patient who eats pills for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”

Gabby’s face falls. Harder than ever before, I see her façade of being ‘okay’ break and the hurt shine. Fuck.

“Adam, what the hell?!” Annaliese wails on him with her purse. If it’d been under any different circumstances, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from laughing, but the way Gabby is glaring at them, then looking at me, I want to hold her and make the hurt go away. Even if I don’t know what the hurt is being caused by.

“Baby, listen…” Adam sighs, pointing his hand to me. “He needs to fucking know she’s a goddamned mess.”

“Oh, fuck you, Mr. Fucking Chicago!” Gabby screams. “I can’t fucking believe you, Annaliese. One thing I confided in you, and you go and tell the biggest fucking mouth in the city!”

“Gabby, I had to talk to someone,” Annaliese whispers. “I thought my fiancé would know how to keep his big mouth shut!” The glare she sends him tells me everything I need to know.

He’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight.

“Go,” Gabby whispers.

“Gab, no,” Annaliese whispers.

“Just… please, Ann. Just go.” Gabby’s plea is almost silent as the tears start streaming down her face.

I’m so nervous, and so confused, and all I can do is watch as this unfolds right here in my foyer. Hands on my head, eyes wide, I watch as Annaliese hugs her best friend with no reciprocation, then drags Adam out of my place, gently clicking the door shut behind her.

“Gabby,” I manage, bringing her into my arms. Her entire body is trembling, and tears are soaking through my shirt. Son of a bitch, I’ll kill the person that made her like this.

“I’m so sorry,” she hiccups.

Fuck.

“Babe, I need to know what the hell is going on. Every time things get rough, we go through this. You cry, you apologize, then you run. I know you’ve had a rough past, but I need to know details, Gabby. I want to know. I need you to tell me.” I’m trying to keep my voice as calm as possible, but, when her sad light brown eyes look at mine, I suddenly get furious that someone did this to her. Someone made my Gabby feel this way. “Goddamnit, Gabby! Just fucking tell me!”

She whimpers and backs away, closing her eyes like she’s preparing for a hit.

She thought I was going to hit her?

“Gabby,”’ I whisper, walking towards her and taking her face in my hands. “I’d never hurt you, Gabby. I love you, Gab. I just… I need to help you, and I can’t do that without knowing what’s wrong,” I plea with her, begging for her to tell me… to let me in. Her tears stream down her face as she backs away from me, breaking a little piece of my heart off and stomping on it.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have even come here,” she cries, and then leaves the apartment as fast as she stormed in.

“Son of a bitch,” I mutter. Running into my bedroom, I grab the baby monitor and check on Hannah. She’s still fast asleep, and the monitor reaches outside the building. If I move fast enough, I can catch Gabby before she’s too far gone.

We can get through this. We have to.

Running out the door, I come to an abrupt stop at the sight before me. If I thought she looked fragile sitting on my stool, I was wrong. Now, curled into a ball in the corner of the hallway, crying her eyes out, my girl looks terrified and broken.

And all I want to do is take all the hurt away.

“No, no no Gabby,” I whisper, falling to my knees in front of her. I take her hands in mine, and she looks at me with tears in her eyes.

“It was all my fault, Benton. I can’t do it again.”

She sniffles, then shakes her head and curls into my body as sobs course through her. I manage to stand, holding her in my arms, and bring her back inside my apartment. Taking her straight to my bedroom, I lay her on the bed and let her curl her body into mine. It’s not long before the tears stop and her breathing evens out.

We have a lot of talking to do, but right now she needs to rest.

Gabby

It’s Time

Noo!

“Ma’am, you have to stay back!”

“Let me GO! My son is in there!” I wail on him until his hands let me slip free, but, from the impact of hitting the tractor, I’m not stable enough to get back to him. “Noah!” I cry out, crawling my best towards the flames.

“Gabby!” Jordan screams from the back seat.

No no no… Why can’t he get out?

“No!”

I keep screaming, but, when I feel the arms come around my midsection, I know it’s no use fighting. Everything hurts and I can only partly see out of my right eye. I know there’s blood all over me, but I don’t care. I have to get to my baby.

When the blast happens, my biggest fear unfolds right before my eyes.

Please, God… no.

Hold on baby, help is on its way.

***

“NO!” I jolt up, eyes tracking the room, all in an attempt to remind myself that I’m safe. I’m not back there.

“Hey, it’s okay, Gab.” Benton’s voice calms me and reminds me why I’m here.

He came for me and brought me in here. He didn’t make me talk, he didn’t make me explain. He just held me. That’s exactly what I needed… everything I wanted… and he did it without me having to ask.

“I’m sorry, Benton,” I whisper, contemplating getting out of bed and going home.

Last night, after my appointment, I completely lost it. On the way home, I saw a family on the train and they were so happy and laughing and playing with their small baby that I completely lost my shit. My mood has been shit lately, and I thought after meeting with Dr. T that things were looking up, but then I was reminded of everything while I watched that family. I didn’t ever make it home, I just wandered until I ended up here. Then Annaliese and Adam happened, and then I passed out.