It’s a miracle I haven’t gained any weight back since Nick insists on driving me everywhere, and I let him. Except to school. I like walking, it helps me prepare for the day. Although the days are getting a lot easier. There are less death looks and more smiles thrown my way. I’d like to think it’s me—the hair, the eyeliner—but I know it’s Nick. They accept me because of him. I try not to think about what would happen if Nick and I weren’t together. It’s strange, but Nick doesn’t have any ex-girlfriends at school. Matt said he never officially dated anyone before. There are girls he’s hooked up with, whatever that entails, but none of them were special to him the way I am. Knowing this has changed me. It isn’t just being on everyone’s radar, having them notice me, watching my every move. I also want to be the girl Nick deserves. Someone he can be proud to have hanging on his arm. I walk through the doors of Eureka High with a smile on my face. For the first time since I moved here, I’m excited to see where the day takes me. Who am I kidding? I know exactly where this day is heading—to thizz.

I see Nick between second and third period; he tells me he missed me while three girls from my gym class follow us down the hall. They say good morning to me and smile at Nick. He nods at them and I wonder how genuine their interest in me really is. Does it matter? There are only two months left of school. At least I’ll get to end high school on a happy note.

Nick, Matt, and I have lunch under my tree, discussing where we will party tonight. Nick wants to go to Gold Beach since the weather is nice. Matt agrees and tells Nick he will let K and Arnie know. When the bells rings, Matt heads to his locker, leaving me and Nick alone. The courtyard empties quickly, but Nick and I stay until the birds in the tree above us are the loudest thing in the yard. He cups my cheek with his hand and stares into my eyes. “Is it working?” he says in almost a whisper. I watch his hazel eyes smile as I whisper yes into the space between us. “Good, because I’m falling for you, Dani.” Nick looks nervous, like he wasn’t planning on divulging this information. I’m a little surprised that he’s telling me this now, here. Sober. Affirmations like this are usually disclosed when we’re high.

I’m not exactly comfortable with this level of intimacy, so I smile and pretend his declaration is no big deal. “You better be.” I stand on my toes and kiss his cheek.

Nick scoffs when I don’t respond with my own declaration of love. I think he likes that I’m not some sappy, love-sick idiot. He likes a challenge. “Oh really?” He picks me up and spins me around. The weightless, carefree feeling reminds me of thizz. I can’t help but think how this moment would have felt if I was high. Kisses, touches, laughs, smiles, words—they’re all enhanced by thizz. It’s like the icing on a cake, the hot fudge on top of a sundae. It makes everything better.

“Hey, Dani. Wait up.” I turn and see Matt jogging towards me. “Nick ditched sixth period. He’s going to meet us in the parking lot after school.” Unlike me, Nick ditches a lot. Matt says it’s all family stuff. For someone who told me he doesn’t associate with his family’s wealth, he sure is invested in its business. Nick and I don’t talk about family—mine or his. So I don’t know why he’s always running errands for his grandmother, but it really isn’t my place to ask.

Matt and I walk into computer class and take our seats in the back. It’s the Friday before spring break, so I’m surprised to see an assignment on the board. The rubric says we have to build a three-page website. One family, one hobby, and one free page. The free page can be a dedication to a favorite band or the college we are attending in the fall. That reminds me, letters should be going out soon. The thought of leaving Eureka, leaving Nick, causes a sick feeling in my stomach. “Did Nick apply to school?” Matt is my go-to for all things Nick.

He sort of shrugs and keeps his focus on his screen. “I don’t think so.”

Nick mentioned something about moving to San Francisco after graduation. I hope that’s still his plan. That makes my plan suck less. What Nick Marino plans to do after graduation shouldn’t concern me, but it does. We’ve only been dating three weeks, but it feels like a lot longer. When you’re thizzin, seconds are minutes, minutes are hours, and hours are days. Each time we take thizz it feels like a year has passed by the time we come down.

I peek at Matt’s screen to see what he’s so interested in. He’s already starting on his page. His background is Stanford-burgundy. Matt wants to get into Stanford just as badly as I want CAL. It’s all he ever talks about. Nick and I never talk about the future. We live in the moment, and the moments we share are more than enough—for now. I don’t ask him about his plan, and we never talk about mine. Nick knows I applied to CAL, he knows I’ll leave if I’m accepted. Neither of us are ready to deal with what happens when that day comes. We have now, and now works for us.

Matt finally looks up and glances at my blank screen. “Do you need help with your page?”

“No, I got this.” I open a browser and search for the CAL logo. At least I have one page I can work on. I don’t know what I am going to do about my family page.

When the bell rings, I’m almost done with my first page. The background is royal blue, and I added some text from the CAL student life page. If I get my acceptance letter, I may add a picture of it, for personality points.

After a quick trip to Matt’s locker, we head outside. Matt opens the door and I spot Nick across the parking lot. He’s smiling at someone who isn’t me. I watch her bouncing blonde hair as she leaps into his arms. It’s just a friendly hug, but the smile in his eyes when he sees her infuriates me. I follow Matt to Nick’s car, trying to keep a stoic expression on my face.

“Hey, babe.” Nick smiles and shoves Heather to the side. He reaches for my hand and pulls me into his arms. “Did you miss me?”

I answer him with a long, deep kiss. When I open my eyes, Heather is rolling her eyes.

“I missed you too.” Nick whispers in my ear. “Have I told you how beautiful you look today?”

I blush and kiss Nick’s cheek. “Yes, twice.” Heather makes a snorting noise beside me.

“Just wanted to make sure you knew that.” Nick takes me in his arms and I melt into him. I can’t wait to take thizz. To enhance everything I feel right now times a thousand. Someone honks the horn inside Nick’s car and I jump back. I look into the car and see Arnie sitting in the front seat. My seat. I look at Nick in protest. “Hey, you guys need to work it out.” Nick walks me around to the driver’s side and opens the door. He refuses to get in the middle of the constant battle brewing between me and Arnie. Conveniently, Nick’s phone rings, and he answers it before I can state my argument for why Arnie should sit in the back.

“You suck,” I say to Arnie, who is triumphantly smiling from my seat.

“Nick wishes you did,” he whispers, so only I can hear the insult. Nick won’t pick between me and his friend, but he doesn’t let Arnie tease me. I don’t mind being a tattle-tale whenever Arnie tries to take a dig. “What did you say to me?”

Nick looks into the car with his phone to his ear and glares at Arnie. Arnie gives one of his disgusting smiles and says, “Bros before hoes, dude.”

Nick shakes his head like a disapproving parent and closes the car door to finish his call. Nick is always talking on the phone or texting. I don’t think Matt would lie to me about the nature of the calls. It isn’t like Nick has time to see other girls; we’re always together.

Suddenly Heather’s face appears at Arnie’s window. “What’s up, girl.” She leans in and he kisses her cheek. “You ready to hang with us tonight?”