“Maybe they aren’t all that bad.” Nick smiles a crooked smile. “You never know, you might even fall in love with one.”

I make a noise that’s a cross between a laugh and a snort. “You know a drug dealer that’s looking for a girlfriend?” I laugh at my ridiculous question, but Nick doesn’t join me. He looks at me like I’m the pretentious bitch Heather King said I was. “I’m joking, Nick. I get it. Drug dealers need love too.” I break into a grin. “I’m sure the guy you bought the pills from is really nice, but I’m not interested in dating him.”

“Who are you interested in dating?” A playful grin spreads across Nick’s face, causing my heart to beat like I just took a pill. I’m hoping it’s some kind of Morse code cluing me in on who it is I actually want. What I feel for Matt is nothing compared to what Nick is doing to me right now. Feeling his eyes on me is almost as good as his hands. They move over my face like the soft trace of a finger. They scan my body like he’s memorizing every curve. Nick’s eyes are like a laser, piercing through me and engraving his initials on my heart. Branding me as his.

Nick takes my hand and something amazing happens to my body. It’s like a chemical reaction, like pouring peroxide on an open wound. He feels so good it hurts.

Fear, embarrassment, self-doubt—it all diminishes when we touch. I know exactly what I want, who I want. “You,” I say. “You are the only person I want holding my hand.” Nick squeezes my fingers. “You are the only person I want to kiss.” He smiles his sexy smile and reaches for me with his perfect lips and presses them to mine.

I want to fall in love with Nick Marino and I want it to happen right now. I just need that little blue pill to help guide me in the right direction.

We break away and Nick straightens up in his seat. He takes a drink from his now lukewarm latte and says, “Tell me something about yourself, something nobody knows.”

My heart stops then starts to beat rapidly. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t you have one thing you’ve never told anyone, but you want to?” Nick leans his face close to mine, like I’m going to divulge my darkest secrets to him.

“I don’t have any secrets,” I lie. I know I will have to tell Nick about my parents eventually. This isn’t the time or the place. I haven’t told anyone. He will be my first. Just not now.

“Come on, don’t be shy.” He rubs his hand on my thigh. I don’t care how charming he is, there is no way he’s getting a single word out of me. I check my watch. Nick places his hand over the face to prevent me from seeing the time. “I’ll go first.” He smiles like I’ve agreed to something. I don’t want to divulge my secret, but I’m not going to stop him from telling me his. He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. He runs his hand through his hair then launches into a story about a basketball game in Arcata.

“So, we win the game and Coach takes us out for dinner at this fancy restaurant. The bartender ended up being an old family friend. He spiked our Cokes with rum all night. Coach had no idea we were all wasted. The last thing I remember was getting on the team bus to head home.” He pauses and sips his latte. I can tell by the smirk on his face, he’s getting to the good part. “Keep in mind, I drank a lot.” He looks so damn cute it’s hard to focus on his story. “I woke up the next day and my bed was soaking wet.” He begins to laugh so hard he can’t finish his story.

“Why was your bed wet?” I ask, then I see the red in his cheeks. “You peed the bed?”

He nods and pretends to be humiliated, but I can tell by the coy look in his eye that he is impervious to humiliation. Nick Marino is too confident to be embarrassed. Hell, I don’t even care that he wet his bed. I think it’s cute.

“Your turn.” He reaches for my hand and leans his head towards me. His fingers are unnaturally warm from the hot coffee.

The bells above the café door jingle and Mary pokes her head out. “Your break is over,” she says in her toddler voice, then closes the door. I’ve never been so happy to see Mary.

“Ok,” I tell her and turn back to Nick. “I have to go.” I look down at his hand wrapped around mine. We fit so perfectly together.

He kisses my hand, then leans his head towards mine so our foreheads are touching. I know my parents loved me and I know Lucy loves me, but I’ve never felt this kind of affection before. The way Nick smiles when I smile, the way he holds my hand and kisses my cheek, is something new and amazing. It’s something I never knew existed and will never be able to live without.

“I better go.” I try to scoot my chair out, but Nick grabs the seat and pulls me to him instead. The metal legs screech against the cement until our knees are touching, then Nick spreads his legs and pulls me even closer. The faint smell of jasmine and exhaust mixed with the coffee on his breathe makes my heart flutter. I inhale him and close my eyes. The next thing I know, Nick’s lips are on mine. He kisses me softly as his hand caresses the side of my face. My lips part and we kiss deeper. His tongue gently invades my mouth, and I let out a slight moan. I’m holding my breath, afraid to come up for air. I don’t want to pull away, but I’ll pass out if I don’t. I end our kiss, and Nick seems to snap out of a daze. His breathing is rapid, like he just resurfaced from under water.

“I have to go,” I whisper into the space between us.

He kisses me one more time and releases my chair. “I’ll wait here until you get off.”

I look into the café and see Patty standing behind the counter with her arms crossed over her chest. I don’t know if I can take two hours of her scowling at me. “I don’t get off until one. You don’t have to wait. I can walk home,” I tell him, but I don’t mean it. I want a ride home. I want to spend every waking minute with him.

Nick stands and walks me to the door. He moves a loose strand of hair behind my ear and kisses my cheek. “I’ll be back at one. My girl doesn’t walk anywhere.”

I open the door to walk inside and he calls my name. “Dani, wait.” He smiles. His Nick smile. “Is my plan working?”

“Yes.” I blush. Your plan is working and mine is out the freaking window.

Ice Cube’s “Today is a Good Day” pulls me from sleep. I peek from under my pillow and see Nick dancing in front of my desk. “Who the fuck let you in?” I pull the pillow over my pounding head and moan.

After Nick took Dani home, he came back to the party and picked up me and Arnie. We drove to a frat party in Arcata and sold half of the pills Will gave us. One hundred pills in one day. I even sold a couple of my bootleg CDs. We popped a pill when we got to the frat house, then popped another one a few hours later. It was off the hook. I think my favorite thing about thizz is how friendly everyone is. Most parties end in fights because some drunk asshole can’t handle his liquor. That doesn’t happen when people are thizzin. It’s all sunshine and fucking rainbows.

“Come on, Matty!” Nick yanks the comforter off my bed. “Ash let me in before she left with your parents. She said they were headed out for your mom’s birthday. Shouldn’t you be going with them? What kind of son are you?”

I know Nick is fucking with me, but it hits a nerve. It isn’t like I would’ve gone, but damn, they could at least ask me. Things have been screwed up between me and my parents for a long time. I don’t know if we can ever make it right. I was just a kid when Ashley was diagnosed. I didn’t know how to handle it. I started acting out, breaking shit, and fighting. I refused to visit her in the hospital. Death was foreign to me. I was only eleven. Ashely’s forgiven me, but I don’t think they ever will.

Nick turns the music off to answer his phone. I hear the one-sided conversation and I can tell he’s talking to Will. Nick hangs up and sits at my desk. “Arnie’s coming over; we have some details to discuss about business. Get the fuck up!”