“Got it! How about this?” She pulls out a dress that looks like it would cover maybe the top half of my curvy, hourglass figure. “Hell no. There is no way in hell I’m fitting in that! Not unless you’re hiding the other half of it behind you. Have you seen these hips?” I gesture to my body. “Will you please just try it on? It’ll look perfect, I swear,” she hands me the dress, shooing me into the bathroom. Not sure if I’ll make it through this with my sanity.
An hour later, we’re stepping out of Nashville’s truck. He’s a friend of Blayr’s from school and apparently he and B have been texting for a few weeks. I feel guilty for not knowing that. I’ve been so focused on dance and school, I haven’t had much time for girl talk. My stomach is in knots, my palms sweaty; I’m nervous but excited at the same time. ‘C’mon babe, let’s have a good night,” B says, looping her arm through mine as we hand our ID’s to the bouncer. His eyes run down my body, and he looks up, smirking. “You’re good, have fun,” he says, handing me my ID back. My cheeks heat. It’s such a foreign feeling, a man appreciating my body. Something I haven’t felt in years, or maybe it’s just something I haven’t paid attention to. We head inside to find a table. The place is packed, the lights low, and the music loud. Nashville yells over the music, “Can I get you girls something?” B looks at him with a sly smile, “Yeah Nashville, how about some shots? We need to loosen my girl up!” She says, giggling. I can do this, I keep repeating over and over. It’s taking everything I have not to bolt for the door.
Nashville comes back with a tray full of shots, he hands us the glasses full of clear liquid and a slice of lime. “To Ember finally joining the real world!” B yells and holds her shot up. We clink together and then tip them back. It slides down my throat, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. Jesus, people drink this for fun?! “Oh God, that is disgusting, what the shit was that?” I yell, barely able to form my words. B and Cam are cracking up, tears running down B’s face. “Patron baby, only the best for you,” she says in between laughs. Grabbing my hand she drags me to the dance floor, throwing her hands up, swaying to the music. I close my eyes and lose myself in “Trap Queen”, hips swaying to the beat. If there’s anything I did right in my 23 years, it’s dancing. Dancing is the only thing I truly allow myself to love. It relaxes my heart and makes me feel free.
I look up at the people dancing around me; the lights so dim I see only shadows moving together. Somehow I’ve lost B and Nash in the crowd, but instead of panicking I force myself to breathe and move to the music, just letting myself go for once. I tense as I feel two hands slide over my hips and I’m suddenly pulled back against a warm, hard body. Looking over my shoulder, all I can make out in the darkness is the shape of his face and the unruly hair falling in his eyes. He guides my hips against his front as we move together to the music, running his hands down my sides and over my hips. Part of me feels guilty for another man’s hands on my body and the other part feels liberated and free. I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. I know Hale would want me to find love again. I just have to find the strength inside myself to let him go.
We dance for what seems like hours, our bodies moving together like they’ve been acquainted for years; dancing to the same old tune. I open my eyes and see B and Nash making their way back towards us. I turn to tell him I need to get back to my friends and his hands are suddenly gone. I look and only see his back retreating in the crowd. Okay, well great to dance with you too, mister.
“I’ve been looking for you forever Ember Ann, shit I almost had a damn heart attack,” Blayr screams in my ear, pulling me from my thoughts. “Who was that?” She asks, I see the questions dancing in her eyes.
“Just a guy who wanted to dance I guess, we didn’t exchange email addresses,” laughing, I tell Nash to excuse us and pull her towards the restroom.
“It was so odd B, I feel like I knew him even though I never actually saw his face. It was too dark,” I say as I step into the stall.
“You should’ve got the digits,” I hear her giggling through the door. I stand, pulling the dress back down as far as I can possibly stretch it. I can’t believe she talked me into wearing this thing.
“I’ll meet you outside, I need to breathe for a second,” I tell her as I open the sliding lock on the door. I see her slipping out the door as I head to the sink to wash my hands. I take a minute to look in the mirror. My brown curls fall down my back, almost to my butt. I can never bring myself to cut it even though it’s a pain to fix every day. The dress B has me stuffed in fits my body like a glove ending only a few inches above my knee. The sweetheart neckline shows off just enough cleavage, but still covers enough to make me feel comfortable. I’ve always been modest about my body and this would be the very last thing I ever picked for myself to wear. Leave it to B to pull me out of my comfort zone head first.
I finish washing my hands and grab some napkins, heading towards the door. I toss them in the trash and head back outside. I spot B and Nash by the bar, B looks completely smitten and my heart warms for her. I miss that feeling. I miss Hale. Even now, my heart feels like it’s buried with him; with no chance of ever getting it back.
“Em, you good?” B yells over the music. I nod and make my way over to the bar while they head to the dance floor.
“Water, please?” I tell the bartender. Playing with the edge of my napkin, I’m lost in thought when I feel someone’s eyes on me. I turn back towards the dance floor, trying to make out faces in the dim light. The bartender hands the water over and I give him a five. “Keep the change.” He smiles and shoots me a wink before moving on to the man standing next to me.
I turn towards the tables and head over. I pull the stool out and try my damnedest to keep the dress from riding up and giving everyone a show. This dress and these heels are seriously driving me insane. B comes and pulls out the stool next to me, sitting down gracefully. How she manages to do that in six inch heels blows my mind. Apparently, I need to practice around the house if I ever want to do something like this again. Don’t girls work out in them or something? Although, I would be fine in a pair of skinny jeans and my converse. Just another thing B and I are complete opposites on. She will dress up to go to the grocery store, while I’m fine in yoga pants and some tennis shoes. Oil and water. Describes our relationship to a T.
“Are you having fun?” She asks, looking hopeful.
“Of course! I’m really glad we came,” I tell her, biting the side of my cheek to keep the truth from spilling out. Is it the tequila? It has to be. I just don’t want to bust her bubble. I’m trying to do the whole “move on” part of my life, but crowds just aren’t my thing. The only fun part of tonight was dancing with the stranger. Okay, saying that in my head sounds deranged. I’ll just keep that bit to myself. Remembering the way his hands ran up my sides, my heart beats faster and my cheeks begin to heat.
“Are you about ready? I’m exhausted. Where did Nash go?” I ask as I look around the dance floor.
“I think he said something about a guy he knew by the door. I’ll shoot him a text and tell him to meet us here,” she says, looking down at her phone.
We wait at the table as Nash comes strolling up, a guy trailing behind him.
“Ladies, this is Tyler. We train together at the gym.” He gestures to the guy next to him. Tyler nods at us. “What’s up?” He’s tall, with shaggy brown hair falling in his eyes. His dimples are adorable and he smells like he walked off of an Armani ad.
“Hi, I’m Ember. I’m Blayr’s best friend. Nice to meet you!” I say, sticking my hand out. He grasps it, and his hand feels warms and rough like he works with them daily. Blayr introduces herself and asks if he wants to join us. “Yeah sure,” he says, never taking his eyes off me. I almost question if he’s the man I danced with on the floor, but the hair isn’t right.