“Ember, calm down babe. You fainted and bumped your head. Here, drink something. Take it easy for a second,” she says, handing me a bottle of water someone thrusted at her.
I take a second to compose myself, but I feel the scales tipping and I think I’m going to lose it any second. I know what I saw. I saw him sitting there, his hair too long, curling around his ears. The same brown eyes I’ve been dreaming about, praying to God to bring back to me. I know I’m not crazy.
“B, I know you saw him, we both did. Where is he? What’s going on?” I plead to her for answers. I look around at all the faces staring at me, like I’ve gone crazy. Someone has to know something. They had to have seen him sitting right there. Looking towards B, her eyebrows are drawn, the worry is etched on her face. “Ember, I…“, she stammers, not finding the words to say. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, massaging my aching temples. Slowly, I sink to the floor and untie the straps from my toe shoes. My feet are on fire and aching, my mind on overload. I pick them up and head towards the dressing room, ignoring the questions I hear thrown my way. I step into the dressing room and shut the door behind me, twisting the lock. Walking towards the dressing table I flop down on the dressing chair. Maybe, I am crazy. Maybe I didn’t see him and it was my imagination. I’m exhausted and haven’t been sleeping.
Grabbing my phone from the dressing table I dial Nan’s number, hoping her voice will bring me comfort. She picks up on the third ring and I exhale with relief.
“Hey Nan.”
“Hey baby girl, how was the recital? I’m sorry that I had to miss it, this cold is kicking my behind.” She laughs and my heart warms at the sound. Just hearing her voice calms the storm raging inside me.
“I danced my heart out Nan. I’m calling because I think I may be losing my mind, but I’m not sure anymore. I’m not sure of anything anymore.” My voice cracks with emotion. I feel the tears welling in my eyes. I take a deep breath, trying to keep calm.
“What’s wrong baby?”
“I saw Hale. I know it sounds crazy, I know it does, but I saw him. I looked up and he was right there, staring back at me. God, Nan. I want so much to believe he was really there and it wasn’t my mind playing tricks on me. He looked so much older than when I saw him, his hair was longer, his face was full of stubble like he hadn’t shaved, but his eyes, Nan,” I choke on a sob, the pain in my heart unbearable. “His eyes were so sad, they were full of pain. Nan I saw him, I have to find him. I’ve tried so hard to move on but I can’t. I have to make sure he’s okay.” I say as the tears run down my face, my chest heaving.
“Take a deep breath baby, you need to calm down. I don’t know who you saw Ember, but Hale is dead. I know it hurts, I know it feels consuming sometimes, but you have to be stronger. I think you need to start talking with someone, to get this out of your heart. If you let it, it’ll consume you my beautiful girl.”
“Okay, Nan. I’ll call you later when I’m home. Love you,” I press end, disconnecting the call.
Bringing my knees to my chest, I lean my head against them and take a few breaths. I’ve got this. I’ve come too far to go back now. It must have been my exhaustion, my mind playing tricks on me. Rising, I grab my keys and bag, and head towards the door. A good night’s rest and something for my pounding head is all I need.
I wake up to sunlight streaming through the windows. Wincing, I look over at the alarm clock and see that it’s one in the afternoon. Meaning I’ve been asleep for fifteen hours. Apparently my body needed rest more than I realized. Yesterday still weighing heavy on my mind, I glance at the picture of Hale and I after graduation that sits on my dresser. We looked so happy and carefree. I don’t know if what I saw was real, but my heart feels like it took a devastating hit. Grabbing my phone from the nightstand. I check my text messages from the night before, seeing several from B, a few girls from school and two from Tyler.
Tyler: Still up for that movie?
Tyler: No? Let me down easy then Em ; )
Grinning, I text him back.
Me: Sorry! Rough night, how about tonight? –Em
Tossing my phone next to me, I get out of bed and head towards the bathroom. Jeez, I must’ve taken a serious fall when I fainted because my head is pounding. I take a quick shower then throw my yoga pants and tee on and head downstairs. I don’t hear B in her room so I’m guessing she must be at school. Looking around for my laptop I realize I left my phone upstairs. I start up the stairs, retrieving it from my bed. I plop down and cuddle beneath the covers. Unlocking my phone, I see the message from Tyler:
Tyler: Sure thing babe. Pick you up at 7?
Me: Sounds good, see you then!
That means I have a few hours to read and relax. Hopefully this damn headache will be gone by the time I have to do something with the mop on my head.
I wake up suddenly, my heart pounding out of my chest, my phone ringing loudly right by my ear. I must’ve fallen back asleep while reading. Shit! Tyler! I jump up from the bed, rushing to the bathroom to turn my straightener on. I walk back into my bedroom, pick up my phone and look through all the texts, calls, and voicemails. I dial Blayr back first.
“Hey babe!” Her voice yells through the phone.
“Hey! Where are you? I’ve been sleeping all day, I swear I didn’t even realize I was that tired.” I tell her, looking through my closet for something to wear.
“I’m out with Nashville, we’re going to ride go carts and eat dinner. Whatcha doing tonight?” She asks. Please don’t ask for us to join them. Please please pl-
I hear her pull the phone away then screech, “Why didn’t you tell me you were going out with Tyler tonight! Y’all come with us. It’ll be like a double date!”
“Well, seeing as how I haven’t talked to you since my minor mental breakdown last night and he just texted me this afternoon that would be why. I think we’re just going to see a movie B, I’m not really up for anything more right now.” I sigh, pulling a pair of jeans from the hanger. It’s supposed to be cool tonight and jeans are a step up from the pajamas that I currently want to wear….
“Whatever, tomorrow you’re mine. We need a pedicure, my feet look ridiculous.” I can hear the noise in the background, and Nashville talking close to the phone. Whatever he is saying causes her to giggle.
“Yup, sounds good. Talk to you later!” I press end without her getting another word in. Even though I love her dearly, she can be exhausting.
I lay my clothes out on the bed and head into the bathroom to finish fixing my hair and makeup. Tyler will be here any minute and I’m not even close to being ready. I run and grab my phone to send him a text when the doorbell rings. Groaning, I toss the phone down on my bed and head down the stairs. Grabbing the doorknob, I swing it open. Tyler stands there with a grin, “Well if you want to wear that for our date, I’m not complaining.” I laugh and open the door, letting him inside.
“Sorry! I fell back asleep after texting you and now I’m rushing to get ready. I won’t be long, I promise. Make yourself at home.” I tell him, gesturing to the living room.
“No worries, we can always make a later movie. Or we could just stay in and watch one?” He asks.
“No it’s fine, just give me like ten minutes.” I turn and dash up the stairs, quickly making it to my room. I throw my clothes on, run the straightener over my hair, throw a little makeup on and brush my teeth. Good thing I’m not a high maintenance girl or we would not be making the seven thirty movie. Grabbing my purse, I turn the lights out and head downstairs. I find Tyler right where I left him, playing a game on his phone.