B and Nash begin arguing over the latest football draft and I’m looking around, anywhere but at Tyler. “Wanna dance?” He asks, drawing my attention to him. Do I want to? Not really. Should I? Probably.

“Yeah, let’s go! Although I can’t do much in these,” I say, gesturing towards the heels. He laughs, grabbing my hand. We head to the dance floor, making our way through the crowd. The music pounds through the speakers and he pulls me against him. We dance close for the next few songs, but it feels nothing like the dance I shared with the stranger earlier.

“I’m going to head back to the table, my feet are killing me,” I say in his ear. He nods and we walk towards the table. B and Nashville are lost in conversation as we approach, not seeming to notice that we even left.

“B, let’s go. These shoes are going to kill me. Seriously,” I wince, shuffling back and forth between feet.

“Okay, fine. But we are so doing this again. I had a blast!” She giggles, jumping down.

“Yeah, this one has had enough,” Nash laughs as he grabs her hand and steadies her.

“Tyler, it was really nice to meet you. I’m sure we’ll see each other again with these two. Have a good night!” I say, leaving him by the door. B and Nash say their goodbyes. We finally make it to the car and I could cry I’m so excited to be going home and getting out of these things.

We pull up at the house, and I thank Nash for being awesome and driving us. He gets B out of the front seat. She passed out somewhere between the bar and home. Rolling my eyes, I head towards the house. Unlocking the door, I put all of our stuff on the table, and direct Nash to B’s room. I see him set B in bed, brushing her hair from her face. It’s adorable how much care he puts into putting her in there. Once everything is situated, I change into an old t-shirt and climb into bed. Laying here, replaying the night in my mind, my heart seems conflicted about what my head is telling me. If this is what I have to do, why does it feel wrong? Why do I feel like I’m betraying him? He gave his life and I’m living mine carefree. Closing my eyes, I whisper to no one, “It has to get worse before it can get better. Right?”

With a week left until the Harvest Festival, B and I are practicing at least four hours a day. My feet and body need a good soak; my brain needs a breather. Dancing is my passion. I enjoy every minute I’m on my toes, but even they need rest after this week.

“B, let’s go... we have to be at Nan’s in twenty minutes!” I yell through the door, trying to hurry her along. I swear if we were ever on time for anything, Hell would freeze underneath us. Looking in the mirror, I pull my hair into a ponytail. I fix my shirt and pants and I grab my shoes, bending down to slip them on. I grab my bag and make my way out the door. I’m leaning against my car ten minutes later when Blayr strolls out, bag in hand. She’s dressed to the T. Her hair perfectly straight, her makeup flawlessly applied and her skinny jeans and shirt look like they were made to fit her body. What takes her a few minutes, takes me a few hours. It comes naturally to her.

“You can’t rush this beauty Ember, really,” she says, climbing in the passenger seat. Rolling my eyes, I throw my bag in the backseat and buckle up.

“You are ridiculous. Seriously. Ridiculous. I’m going to stop claiming you,” I say, smirking.

Changing the subject she says, “So, Tyler has been asking Nash about you. He wants to take you out.”

“Really? I don’t know B, I’m not sure if I’m ready for that yet,” I whisper, keeping my eyes on the road.

“Just think about it, no pressure. I just wanted to tell you,” she says, reaching for the radio. Cranking it up, we sing along all the way to Nan’s. Pulling in the driveway, I glance next door to Hale’s. It’s been empty since his daddy died last year. I feel the sadness squeezing my heart. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It’s moments like this when I feel like I won’t ever be the same again.

Turning the car off, we step out and head inside to Nan’s. Opening the door I yell out, “Nan we’re here!” I hang my purse up and take my shoes off. Nan will have a fit if I walk on her floors in my shoes. Heading towards the kitchen I notice the pictures of Hale and I hanging along the hallway. Some days are better than others and today is not one of the better ones. It must be for trying to let go and find peace. I find Nan at the stove and give her a hug. Sighing I tell her, “Missed you Nan. It hasn’t been a very good few days for me.” She hugs me close whispering, “All better in time baby, he would want you to be strong. It’s time to live, Ember.” I feel the tears escaping down my cheeks. She wipes them away then kisses my forehead and moves to Blayr to fuss over her dress. She knows I wouldn’t want her to make a big deal. If there’s anyone who understand my feelings it’s Nan.

Last night was a big step for me and I know I just have to take baby steps. It won’t happen overnight. I know there will be sad days, but there will be happy days too. Maybe if I say it enough, I’ll convince the hardest judge ... Myself.

I have a huge paper due Friday and I agreed to go out with Tyler tonight. He’s supposed to be here at 7 to pick me up. It’s 4:30. I’ve gotten none of my paper written and my closet is destroyed. I’m nervous. I’ve been biting my nails all day, trying not to panic, and call him to cancel. My first date in... ever? Did Hale and I ever really go on dates? Spending time together just happened, it was never planned. He lived next door so he would just- “Stop,” I tell myself. Focus. I grab my phone from my nightstand. Times like this call for Blayr.

Me- Please tell me you aren’t busy and are close to home?

B- Already on my way, babe. You know I wouldn’t let you leave the house in yoga pants. ; )

Me- Not funny. Maybe I should just cancel? Netflix and wine night? Yes. Pick up some wine at the grocery!

B- Ember Ann, put the phone down and get your ass in the shower! NOW!

Me- Fine.

Tossing my phone on the bed, I head towards the shower and turn the water on hot as I can stand it; then remove my jeans and tee and toss them into the hamper. I’m two seconds from talking myself out of this. I don’t even know why I agreed in the first place. I take a quick shower. As I step out I wrap the towel around myself and I can hear B moving around the house, probably picking me out something short and tight to wear. Sitting on the toilet, I take a deep breath and tell myself, “I can do this. It’s just a damn date. I can do this. You’ve been through hell, it’s just a date. I can do this.”

I open the door and walk back into my room to find Blayr laid on my bed, reading her latest Cosmopolitan. “Did you know Adam Levine is getting married? Lucky bitch, God I hate her. She’s so not even that pretty,” she says, throwing the magazine down dramatically.

“Blayr, she’s a model. Of course she’s that pretty. Don’t be jealous she got to him first,” I laugh, picking up my brush and running it through my tangles.

“Well whatever, Charlie Hunann is still single so there’s still hope,” she replies, grinning.

“B, time to work your magic. Hurry before I throw up and change my mind,” I tell her, handing her the brush.

By 6:45 I’m plucked, styled, and dressed. Ready to go. Well physically, mentally I’m not so sure. My hair falls in loose waves down my back, my blue eyes shine with the perfect smokey eye. If there’s one thing B is good at, it’s making me over. I tell her at least twice a week she should quit college and go to beauty school. I can barely get my mascara and eyeliner right, and she’s made me a different person. Thankfully, I get away with wearing some dark skinny jeans with a black blouse, black blazer, and an opal necklace that is to die for. Her words, not mine. I’m even wearing wedges that don’t seem like they will hurt THAT bad. Hopefully we don’t do anything too strenuous or I’ll be regretting it later.