“Why are you whispering Hale what is going on? Can’t you just tell me what’s wrong?”
“HALE MICHAEL! WHERE ARE YOU BOY?!”
We both look up, hearing his daddy scream. “Em promise me. Promise me right now!”Hearing Nan holler bath time, I pull myself from my thoughts. I’ve been thinking about today all day and I still haven’t seen Hale. I’m worried. Lying in bed that night, I listen to the crickets chirping, whispering my prayers. Hale never comes.
The next morning, I wake up drenched. I tossed and turned all night; the nightmares running through my mind on replay. Every Sunday morning we go to church together. He’s always waiting for us by the car right before we leave. Nan says we have to be right with God, so the only Sunday we’ve ever missed is when I got pneumonia. I run downstairs to Nan and tell her I’m worried about Hale. I never heard from him. “I’ll go on over there if he isn’t ready for church by 9:30, now go put on your church dress”, she replies as she finishes putting the rollers in her hair. I roll my eyes and head to my room to get ready.
By 9:15 I’m dressed in my pink church dress, my hair in braids and black Mary Janes on. I’m standing at the tall window in the living room waiting on Nan. She is going next door to get Hale, but said I had to wait here. Biting my thumb nail absentmindedly, I watch her walk across the yard and knock on the door. Finally, after what feels like forever, the door opens and Hale slips out. I immediately run out the door, half tripping down the stairs to get to him. “Hale why is your arm in that cast, what happened? What’s wrong? Nan what’s going on?” I scream, my voice rising in octaves, the worry evident on my face. His eye is black and blue and his arm is in a long, black cast... Which wasn’t there yesterday.
“Ember it’s okay, I just tripped going down the stairs,” he whispers, eyes cast downwards. “Hale Michael no you didn’t, don’t you tell me lies!” Nan hisses. “Your daddy home last night?” She asks as she pulls him into her arms.
“Yes ma’am,” Hale says, looking back towards the door. Little did we know, it wouldn’t be the last broken bone that Hale Jarreau would get.
October 2008
My favorite time of the year is fall. There’s something beautiful about the seasons changing, the leaves falling all around, and the weather getting cooler. Being from the south, we don’t really have a “cold” winter. It stays hot until the end of October, sometimes even November, but we get to watch the seasons fade. Today is Halloween and just like every year since forever, Hale and I will be at the All Hallows Carnival. Every year the town puts on a carnival on Halloween for the kids to go to once they’ve finished trick or treating. Hale insists we go, so here we are.
“C’mon, Ember. Funnel cake alone is worth it. Let’s go,” Hale says as he drags me through the gate. I roll my eyes and pull back. “You are such a juvenile.” I laugh as he grabs me by my nape and pulls me forward, capturing my lips with his, stealing all the breath from my lungs. Pulling me closer, he sighs against my mouth like he’s been dying of thirst and I’m his first drink in years. “I’ve waited to do that for ever, sorry it took me so long sweet girl.”
First kisses are usually awkward, full of fumbling, nervous laughs, bumped teeth, but Hale kisses me like he’s been doing it his whole life. Like he was made for it. There’s nothing awkward about the way my body fits next to his. There’s no awkwardness as he tucks my face in his neck and whispers, “I love you,” into my hair. We just fit, two halves of a whole. Exactly where we are meant to be.
“Let’s go ride the Ferris wheel,” Hale whispers in my ear. I laugh lightly at the shivers running down my body.
“If you insist,” I smart back to him, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the ride. We get to the line, holding hands until it’s time for the ticket holder to take our tickets and Hale hands them over. I climb in and look back at Hale, “Eyes up here mister,” I reprimand, as his eyes move from my ass, up the length of my body. He throws his hands up, “Not me,” he laughs, settling in beside me. I lean back against the seat, enjoying the smell of the carnival food and the crisp air against my cheeks. Hale throws his arm around my shoulders and pulls me snuggly against his side.
“Do you ever think about why God put us together Em? Think about it. If my dad would’ve never taken the position at CPD, then I would have never met you. I really think it all happens for a reason Ember, every decision brought me here to you,” he says, staring out at the city beyond us.
Hale was like a breath of fresh air in my life. No matter the circumstances he came from, he makes the best of it. He takes all the terrible things that have happened to him and he finds a way to look beyond it. He finds the beauty in everything broken. He’s the person we all look to, to shed light on us in the darkness.
April 2009
Tonight Hale came knocking on the door in the pouring rain right after supper. His eyes were black and blue, his lip split open, and his hand clutched his ribs. Nan’s clutching her heart saying, “this is going to stop today Hale!” and I’m not stupid... I know she means Hale’s daddy. Tears well in my eyes seeing him so bruised and broken before me. I hate Cole Jarreau for every bruise he’s left on Hale’s body, every broken bone, every hateful word... It’s not fair, just because he is a police officer he gets away with hurting him. It’s not right for everyone to turn a blind eye. I know how much Hale hates when I bring it up, but I can’t keep biting my tongue, something has to give.
“Hale you need to come stay here with us. You can’t let him do this shit to you anymore… You have to fight back or leave!” I scream, exasperated.
“He’ll just come get me Ember, give me some bullshit spiel about how he’s my legal guardian,” Hale replies, shaking his head, groaning at the movement, and clutching his ribs.
“Come on, let’s at least clean you up,” I whisper. My heart feels like it’s breaking in two. The pain feels almost crippling. There’s a special kind of pain reserved for not being able to stop the hurt that the people you love are feeling. I feel helpless.
Nan, I’m going to clean Hale’s lip up. I’ll set him up on the couch,” I yell towards the kitchen. I grab Hale’s hand and guide him to the bathroom where I point to the toilet, “Sit.” He slowly lowers himself to the seat, wincing in pain as he looks up at me. I brush the hair from his eyes and tell him, “Hale, this has to stop. You can’t keep living this way. We have to do something to get you out of there. Anything. You know Nan will let you have the couch.”
“No, Em. I’m going to be okay. It’s no worse than the last time, he’s just angry from being laid off from the force,” he replies, pulling me to him gently, wrapping his arms around my middle. “I love you sweet girl, my angel.” This kind, beautiful boy has no idea the light he shines on everyone around him.
August 2010
I always thought turning eighteen would be a miraculous change from child to woman, but waking up this morning, I don’t feel much different. I yawn and start making my way to the window to look for Hale. He turned eighteen last week, so we decided to spend today down at the river celebrating both of our birthdays. I head to my dresser, throwing clothes everywhere, looking for my favorite black bikini. I snatch it up, and toss everything back inside. Walking to the bathroom, I pick my cell up and send him a text.
Me: Ready when you are lazy!
Hale: Been up since 7 sweet girl, working in the shop. Happy Birthday beautiful, love you forever.
If there is one thing that Hale loves, it’s that damn Camaro. A 1967, black Camaro SS. He’s been restoring it for close to a year and I can’t wait to ride down 447 with my hair blowing in the wind, feet on the dash, with Tim McGraw blaring through the speakers. It’s the little things.