"You might not believe this," I say staring at her, willing her to open her eyes. "But even now, you're the most beautiful woman in the world. I've missed you so much, baby."

Tears start to fall. I let them. Something happened on the plane when I told my father about Luna. I feel like I've been ripped open and shred to pieces. All the love I've been trying to deny, trying to fight, rose to the surface like a torrential flood. I love Luna. Still. Even though she tore me apart inside. I'll always feel guilty for turning my back and failing her. But that's doesn't even touch the surface of how I feel for Selene. She's my world, my universe. I'll walk through fire to save her, because nothing exists for me without her. And I will not fail her ever again.

"I don't know if you figured it out yet or not, but I'm not good with words. People tend to think I am because I ramble on so much, but it's just a facade. See, I'm nervous because I don't know what to say, so I compensate by using a fancy word."

No response.

"I'm sorry doesn't come close to how I feel or what I want to say. And the truth is I'm so tired of apologizing to you. Not that I haven't owed you every apology, but I don't want to fuck up and have to apologize anymore." I shake my head, hoping she can't hear me, because I sound like the same selfish asshole I've been since I met her. "What I mean is I don't want to mess up anymore. I want to be better. I want to be worthy of your love."

Her fingers curl around my hand, but her eyes are still closed. She hears me. She knows I'm here and she's responding to me. I jump up and move closer to the bed. I half sit on the bed, bring her hand up to my lips and kiss it gently, while stroking the side of her face with the other hand.

"I hit rock bottom last night. In every possible way. The worst part was thinking I lost you, and waiting to get to you felt like a slow death. I realized my life doesn't mean anything if you’re not in it. You're what makes my world beautiful. You're the smell of fresh cut grass, and watermelon in the summer. You're the delicious bubbles in champagne and the color in a rainbow. Selene, you are everything. Everything I want. Everything I need. And right now, what I need more than anything is for you to open your eyes and forgive me one last time."

The nurse I met outside her door a few minutes ago pushes something into the room. It's like a small dresser, with a clear tub on top of it. My pulse sprints when I look at the tiny bundle wrapped in a pink and blue teddy bear blanket being transported.

My mouth is dry. I can't speak, and the tears I thought I got under control bombard me. It's the baby. Our baby. I want to reach out for it, but I'm afraid. I've never held one, and I don't want to do it wrong.

"Time to wake up, Selene," the nurse says opening the blanket the tiny bundle is wrapped in and changing the diaper. "Your son is looking to eat."

"Son? We have a son?" I look from the nurse to Selene and back.

"Oww, Cooper, you're squeezing so tight, you're hurting me," Selene pulls her hand out of my grasp as her blue eyes flicker open.

I don't care, I'm so happy to see those crystal blue orbs, nothing else matters.

"We have a son?"

"Yes. We have a son," Selene answers.

"May I see him?" I ask the nurse. "Please?"

"Of course." She carries him around to me on the other side of the bed.

He's so tiny, and perfect. His miniature hand is fisted and rubbing against his gums, and a frantic cry is coming out of his little mouth. I'm in awe that I had any part in the creation of this perfect little being.

"Would you like to hold him?"

Again I look to both women, making sure they're okay with it.

"Go wash your hands," the nurse nudges her head toward a sink behind me.

Once I'm clean, I stand next to the nurse and listen attentively as she transfers the baby to my arms.

"The most important thing is to keep his head supported."

I nod as I look down into the clear blue eyes of my son. "He's so beautiful. Hey little guy. I'm your daddy." I say looking down into his tiny face. "He's so tiny. Is that okay?"

"He's a little on the small side, but nothing to worry about," the nurse answers.

"He's early though. Is he fully developed?"

She smiles at me, and I can't help feeling like she's calling me an idiot in her head. It's okay, lady. I am an idiot. I should've been better prepared, but I'm trying to make up for that now"

"He's only a few weeks early. He's not a premie, and he's doing fine. Now, he does need to eat." She lifts my son from my arms, and I feel like a piece of me is gone.

I stand back and watch as the nurse and Selene open one side of the hospital gown and work to get the baby latched on to his mother. Lucky kid.

The nurse leaves to go get me a wrist band. It gives us time to spend together and bond with our child.

Our child.

I think if I opened the window and jumped off the ledge I'd soar like an eagle. The thoughts of a baby, and family used to bring with them the feeling of a noose tightening around my neck. Right now those same thoughts are the only things that make sense in my life. This is absolutely what I want and where I want to be.

"Are you comfortable? Can I get you anything?" I ask feeling useless.

Selene shakes her head. "I'm surprised you're here."

"Where else would I be?"

She cocks her eyebrow up, and I know I have it coming. I don't care. I want to hash it all out here and now so we can move on, move forward.

"Honestly, anywhere but here."

I stroke her hair, "I'm sorry I haven't been around."

"You're talking about the last three weeks, what about the six months before that?"

"Maybe I needed that time to grow up."

"It's not just me anymore. I have him to think of. If I make the wrong choice it could hurt him for the rest of his life. And then he might end up like you."

Ouch.

I cup her cheek. "I can't be that bad. You did fall in love with me."

"Yeah, I'm an idiot."

I laugh and kiss the top of her head. "No. You're one of the smartest women I know. And I'm betting somehow, you still love me. And Selene, you might not believe it, but even from the beginning, from the first night I brought you home I wanted to be better for you. I just didn't know how."

"And now you do?"

"Now I am better, because of you. Because of him. I don't have a choice. I don't want a life without you both in it. That longing, that love, they make the fear I let control me insignificant."

"This is your last chance at freedom. That's what you really want. To come and go as you please, with whomever you feel like being with at the moment."

"No. It's what I thought I wanted. But the problem is, it never made me happy. I felt happiness I never did with you. Why don't you ask the question that's really on your mind."

"Fine. How many girls were you with out there before you realized you want me?"

"None."

She blinks but doesn't say anything.

"As in not a single one. I tried to call you, but you wouldn't take my calls."

"I couldn't." Her eyes tear.

"It's okay." I swipe her tears away with my thumbs. "I buried myself in work with my father and Stephan. I had the opportunity to see who my father really is. And you know what I found? He's everything I remember him being as a kid. He let me talk, or mope. He gave me room to think and he was there when I needed him. Maybe I needed to be reminded of what it means to be a father, because I didn't think I had it in me."