"Once is all it takes. I thought you knew better Cooper."

"I did. I mean I do. I mean how can she be pregnant?"

My mother doesn't answer me. She just looks at me like she doesn't believe a word I'm saying.

"How would she even know she's pregnant?"

"She brought the positive test."

My heart sinks. It doesn't matter what I say. My mother doesn't believe me, and any hope of a reconciliation with Luna is destroyed. I try to wrap my mind around what's going on. Luna's pregnant? And she's claiming it's mine? It can't be. It's only a week since we had sex, and I used a condom. It doesn't make sense. Why would she do this?

I already know the answer. It's Dex's. She must have known she was pregnant when we had sex, that a part of him was growing and multiplying inside her. Maybe that's the reason she had sex with me to begin with, so she can turn around and pin it on me. She doesn't love me, can't possibly if this is what she's doing. I drop into a chair in the kitchen and with my elbows on the table, I slump down and rest my head in my hands.

"I'm not surprised that you got her in trouble, you always were impulsive and irresponsible. But I thought you cared about her."

I shake my head. It doesn't matter what I say right now, I know my mother, she made up her mind. There's no way I can change it.

"I thought I raised you to be a better man than your father. Is this the legacy you want to leave behind? Love 'em and leave 'em?"

"Did she tell you how far along she is?"

"Eight weeks."

I nod, holding back the tears of fury burning the corners of my eyes.

"It's not mine. It can't be mine."

"It doesn't matter. I gave her money to take care of it."

"What?" I jump out of my seat. I understand now. That's what Luna was after, money.  And my mother handed it right over to her."

"How much did you give her?"

"A couple of hundred. And by the way I expect you to pay back every penny."

"How could you? Have you heard one word I said? She's probably not even pregnant, and if she is it's not mine, but you didn't even stop to ask me. You just gave her exactly what she came for."

"If you'd answer her calls, you could've handled this and kept me out of it."

"I didn't come to you. I didn't ask for your help. Next time, do me a favor, stay out of it!"

"You ungrateful shit. I have a better idea. Next time keep it in your pants." She smacks me across the head again.

*

I call Luna, but as I expected, she doesn't answer. I don't hang up. I wait and leave a message on her voicemail.

"You're a slut and a liar. You used me. I'm so dumb to think I meant something to you. I see it now, it was always about money. I can't believe I let you play me like this. I loved you. There isn't anything I wouldn't have done for you. But you know how I feel now? I hate you Luna. I fucking hate you!"

I don't bother saying anything else. It doesn't matter. She's probably laughing her ass off at me with Dex, I fucking hate them both. I pound my pillow, wishing it was Dex's head. Maybe I should go to his house and fuck him up. Frustrated I fling the pillow across the room to find a sealed envelope left underneath it.

I turn it over in my trembling hands. I have no doubt it's from Luna. I swallow down the lump in the back of my throat. The envelope taunts me. I don't want to open it, but I can't bring myself to tear it to pieces either. I put it in my sock drawer so I don't have to see it. The door to my room bursts open. My sister looks scared, nervous as her eyes dart from side to side in the hall before she comes in and quietly closes the door behind her.

"What, Alexis?" I snap.

"Are you okay?" She moves toward my bed tentatively and keeps her voice down. "Mom's been flipping out."

I close my eyes and rub my forehead. Why can't they just leave me alone to deal with this shit? I look at my sister nibbling her bottom lip, and I know she needs reassurance. "Sorry. She's pissed at me."

"I know. I just, I've never seen her so angry with you. I want to make sure you're okay."

I sigh, knowing I have to keep it together for my sister. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"I don't believe you," she says getting off the bed and stepping toward me. "I thought you might need a hug." She wraps her arms around me. "And, Cooper. If you think it will help, I'll do something bad so she lays off you."

"No, Alexis. Don't get yourself in trouble. I'll be fine, really." I flip her hair from behind her head over her face. "The hug really helped. But until things blow over, I want you to steer clear of her. Okay? I need some time, and I don't need to worry about you too, right now."

"Okay. If you want to talk, I'll be in my room."

"Thanks." I smile, and I feel a smidgeon better.

Once Alexis leaves, I hop onto my computer and shoot up brain-eating zombies online. I play the stupid game, killing everything in my path until three o'clock in the morning. My eyes are heavy and want to close. I climb into bed hoping to drift off into a dreamless sleep, but sleep eludes me. I lie here for hours, thinking of Luna and the letter in my drawer. What the hell could she have to say? And why leave a letter instead of returning my phone call?

At six A.M. I flip the lights on and pull the envelope out.

Dear Cooper,

I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me one day for everything I've done. I never wanted to hurt you. I really do love you, but sometimes life isn't fair. I'm sure you know that I'm pregnant. I just found out, and you have no idea how I wish the baby was yours. Maybe then we could work through everything and run off together. But as fate would have it, Dex is the father. I swear I didn't know.

I'm sure you're tired of hearing apologies from me. I'm sorry about that, too. But I promise this will be the last one.

I put the letter down. Not sure I can read anymore. She really is pregnant. Thinking that every time I kissed her or touched her a part of him was there between us, seems to nullify every beautiful moment between us. I want to scream. Now more than ever I want to shred the letter, but I can't. I need to see what more she has to say.

He raped me Cooper. He came into my room while I was sleeping, covered my mouth so I couldn't scream, and raped me. Of course he said it was my punishment for staying out all night and worrying him, but I've know it was just a matter of time. I knew when I'd wake in the middle of the night and find him standing in the doorway staring at me that things would escalate.

I wish I told you. I thought you'd force me to tell someone, and the thing is, he always talked about what a slut I am and how loose I am with my body, even though I've only had sex with you and Dex. And now him. I didn't think anyone would believe me. Everyone thinks he's this great guy for taking me and my mother in. No one knows what an ugly piece of shit he really is. God, I want to die.

Tears stream down my face. I'm going to fucking kill that mother fucker. He hurt her.  And it's my fault. My body shakes as I feel a rage unlike anything I've ever felt shoot through my veins. Even though I was mad, I knew what was going on. She told me what he did to her in the shower. Instead of listening or trying to help, I sent her away. Alone. I let my hurt feelings get in the way of doing what's right. I pick up the letter and read some more.

I can't live like this, worrying about what he's going to do to me next. Already it's happened three times. And each time he gets more violent. He's gagged me and tied me up so I can't fight him. I told my mother. When she confronted him, he beat her senseless, and he threatened to do the same to me if I ever told anyone else. I'm so scared. I thought she was going to die and he wouldn't let me call an ambulance. I can't knowingly bring a baby into a life like this. Not when I know what the evil that lurks in the shadows looks like.