"I don't know if it's the pregnancy that has you so insecure, or what the hell is going on, but you're a shadow of the girl I fell in love with. You need to get your shit together."

I feel like crap the moment the words leave my mouth. I know I'm deflecting, blaming it all on her. If I treated her the way I did before her belly got big and round and looked like she swallowed a basketball, everything would be fine. But I can't. Each time I see her expanding stomach, a torrent of emotions swirl around inside me. They're strong and conflicting as I try to get over the feeling she betrayed me by getting pregnant. I won't give her the satisfaction of admitting any of this. I rather blame it all on her and make her take responsibility for what's happening.

"Me?" She squeals.

"Yes, you." I rummage through my closet for my suitcase and lay it on the bed.

"What are you doing? This is your apartment, I said I'll leave."

"And I said you're not going ANYWHERE!" I roar.

Selene's eyes are filled with more than tears, they're filled with fear and trepidation. I can't say I blame her. I'm not quite sure what I'm capable of at the moment, and that's why I need to get away.

"Look, you need to figure shit out, so I'll give you time to do that."

"Where are you going? To Lexi's?"

Needing to touch Selene, I move toward her and stroke her face. I work at keeping my face and temper even when she flinches away from me. Pulling away with her, another speck of hope.

"California. I wasn't going to go to my father's wedding if you couldn't be there, and I knew it was too close to your due date for you to fly safely. But seeing how we're at each other's throats, I think it's best if I go there for a while. Besides, it gives us time to focus on what needs to be done for the show."

I can't tell if she likes the idea or not. I wouldn't be surprised if the thought of me leaving brings her great joy. When I'm gone, she'll have free reign to run to Mateo.

"That's it? You're just going to leave me?"

"I'm giving you time and space to decide what you want. But I want you to understand something. No matter what you decide, the baby stays with me."

"What? But you don't even want it!"

"Your right, but that doesn't change the fact that you're having it. And I'm not okay with letting anyone else raise it. I'm not okay with giving some prick access to hurt my kid, and I'm not going to let you screw with its head the way my mother did with Lexi and me. If you leave, I will fight for custody."

"You can't do that."

"Watch me."

I don't know why I said that. If she leaves with the kid, I can go back to the peaceful existence I had before Selene. An existence where ghosts didn't haunt me, and even if they did, I had enough distractions around I didn't notice. Before Selene, I had no need to think so much. This is it, a turning point, one from which there is no return. I need to stick to my guns and get away from her. I zip up my suitcase, lift it off the bed, and without a backward glance, I walk out of my apartment, and out of Selene's life, possibly forever.

Chapter 22

"Hey, Noah." I look up to find my father standing beside my friend. "Do you mind if I have some time alone with my son."

"Of course not, sir." The consummate gentleman, Noah gets up and gives my father his seat.

"Thank you," he says clapping Noah on the shoulder as the two cross paths. "We should be landing in about an hour," he says settling into his seat.

I nod.

"I hope you know that I'm going to love and support you no matter what."

"Thanks, Dad."

"And I know you're worried sick about Selene. But son, you have to think about that baby."

I don't want to hear this right now. I shake my head. "If she doesn't make it . . ."

"If she doesn't make it and the baby does, you need to step up and be responsible. It's going to need a lot of love and care."

"I'm not cut out for that. I'll put it up for adoption." But even as I say it, I'm not sure I really could.

"You'll do no such thing."

"Are you really lecturing me? You left us because you thought it was the right thing to do."

"Yes. And I found out in the end how wrong I was. Believe me, son. If I could go back in time and redo it all I would. I know better than anyone what it means to walk away from your children because you think it's the right thing. And I'm telling you it's wrong. That child is yours and Selene's. Wouldn't you want to keep a piece of her? A piece of the both of you?"

I shake my head. "I didn't want a baby. I wasn't ready for it. And I don't want to screw the kid’s life up before it even starts."

"I understand." My father's hand finds my shoulder and squeezes. "Being responsible for another life is terrifying. But I promise you, when you hold that tiny bundle in your arms something in you changes. You find strength and courage you didn't know you had to love and protect your baby. Son, I give you my word, we'll be there for you. We'll all help. You don't have to do this on your own, but you have to do it."

"You tried this lecture once before. That's why I went back to her in the first place."

"No. You went back to her in the first place because you love her."

"You don't know that. Hell, I don't even know that anymore."

He gives me a pointed look. "You love her, Cooper. I don't know the gritty details since you won't tell me, but I know you love her."

"Dad," I shake my head. I get it. He has his own guilt to deal with. He doesn't want to admit what a fuck-up I am. "I screw up everything I touch. The baby will be better off without me."

"I know I'm not up for any father of the year awards, and I know a lot of this is my fault . . ."

That's it. I've had it. I can't keep it together any longer.

"You know what, it is your fault." He needs to back off. If he insists on going here, I'm happy to oblige. “Everything went to shit when you left, but you know what, I could've handled that. I did handle it. I dealt with Mom's bullshit and Lexi's abandonment issues. But then you'd come back to visit and that screwed things up even more. I dropped everything if you called, because I missed you, and I just wanted to spend some time with my father having fun like we used to."

"Those times meant the world to me too, Cooper."

"Except by dropping everything I dropped Luna, and I lost her forever. If I chose her over you, maybe she and I would've had a normal relationship. Maybe my whole fucking life would've turned out better."

"I was never around for very long. One night wouldn't have made that much of a difference."

"Except that it did." I close my eyes and tell my father the long sorted story I haven't told anyone.

Chapter 23

"Come on, Cooper, I really want to go to the party tonight. Please," she juts her bottom lip out and looks up at me through her dark lashes.

I wrap my arms around Luna's slight waist and pull her against me. "I can't, baby. I haven't seen my father in almost a year." She rolls her eyes, but I choose to kiss her sweet lips and ignore it. "I have an idea, why don't you come with me, I'd love to introduce you. And I know he won't mind. He's really cool."