"Hey Lex, you think you can fill in for me at Selene's appointment today?"

"Cooper, what are you going to do if you're actually around when she goes into labor? Huh? You haven't been to one appointment."

"Fuck you. I have been to one, and if it's such a problem, I'll call Mom." I hope she doesn't call my bluff because the last person I ever want to call for help is my mother.

*

"I'm not surprised you knocked her up," my mother says pulling a cigarette out of the pack and taking a long pull on It, as she cups her hand around the end and turns the flint on the lighter. "I'm surprised it's taken you this long to get another girl in trouble."

Not this again.

"Tell me son, are you going to leave this one high and dry as well?"

Why does she always have to go there? Why does she always have to remind me about how I turned my back on Luna?

"I love Selene."

"You loved what's her name, too."

"Luna! Her name was Luna. And this is nothing like that. I thought you might like to know you're going to be a grandmother. If all you want to do is make me feel like shit about it, then I'm sorry, I have to go."

I head for the door, but my mother stops me on the way. She takes my arm and I turn toward her.

"I'm sorry handsome. I'm not being very supportive am I?"

I don't bother answering, I just stare at her.

"That's wonderful news. I can't wait to meet Selene."

*

"So can you help me, Lexi? Or not?"

"I'll be there. You know I like her. I don't want you to fuck this up, Cooper. She's the best thing to happen to you in a really long time."

I ignore her warning. She shouldn't be trying to lecture me on how to live my life when she's been hung up on the same guy for years, who just happens to be a shit just like me.

"Great. I'll let her know you'll be coming to get her."

I send Selene a text message as I sit in the car warming it up. She doesn't respond right away. That's cool. She's a little disappointed. She'll get over it.

*

I don't want to walk into my apartment. I've sent Selene texts all day, but she hasn't responded to one. Lexi called to tell me the appointment went well. Everything looks good, but Selene is super pissed. That's all the excuse I need to meet up with Noah after work and go throw a few drinks back. I'm sure my sister let him off his leash because she thought he could talk some sense into me.

"The shit has to stop, Cooper. Either you're all in, or you're all out. This halfway bullshit is driving everyone crazy."

"So now Lexi is bitching at you about how I'm skirting my responsibilities."

"No, man. I'm not blind. Is your sister stressing over it? Yeah. She likes Selene, and the baby is going to be her niece or nephew. She's afraid Selene is going to jump ship and she's never going to see that kid."

"Jump ship. No worries, there's no place for her to go."

"You really are stupid, man. Just because you're not attracted to her right now doesn't mean no one else is."

I slam my glass down on the bar. "Who's fucking hitting on her? You?"

"Lower your voice," Noah says looking around. "Of course not, but if you think you can let your shit stink the place up because there's nowhere else to go, your wrong. There's always someone or something better out there."

"Is she still talking to that fuck head, Mateo?"

"I don't know," Noah looks away and I know he's full of shit. What's worse is that he's taking her side instead of mine."

"Nice to know I can always count on you," I say throwing down enough money to cover our drinks and the tip. "See you around."

"Cooper, the baby shower is Saturday. You better be available. Troy and I are helping out, but the girls are going to go ape shit if you're not there."

Great, the girls are going to be pissed. Story of my life.

Chapter 19

"Selene!" I yell walking into the apartment, slamming the door behind me.

"What?" She asks coming out of the kitchen, her eyes red and puffy.

I close in on her with a nasty scowl. "Are you still talking to Mateo?"

"You've been out drinking?" She asks in an accusatory tone.

"I met Noah for a drink, only to find out you want to leave me."

"Is that what he told you? I never said that."

"Well you said something that made my sister think you're looking to get out."

"You want to know what I said, I said that it's not working, and I'm worried you're going to resent us."

"That's a load of bullshit."

"Be honest, Cooper. You're not attracted to me anymore. You haven't touched me in months. On the rare occasion that anything does happen between us, it's always me that initiates it."

I'm so pissed at the nonsense she's spewing, I have half a mind to turn her around, bend her over and show her how attracted I am to her. It's fucking painful to sleep next to her night after night and not touch her. But once my eyes drop to her bulging belly, I can't bring myself to touch her.

"See? I see it in your face right now." She rubs her hands over her belly. "I disgust you."

"Stop." I pull her into my arms. She resists until I meet her lips with my own. Once I break away from the kiss, she leans her head against my chest.

"I'm losing you, Cooper. I know it, and it hurts like hell, because I still love you so much. I've been trying to hold on, but I don't think I can anymore."

I look down and tilt her chin up so I can look in her eyes. The sadness I see in them rips through me, straight to my heart. I'm hurting her. I don't want to. She's my world, and I can't bring myself to stop hurting her.

"I'm sorry. I'll try harder."

"Try what? Tolerating my touch? Not hating me?"

I brush my lips against her cheek. "Please, stop talking like this. You're wrong. Come, get off your feet." I lead her over to the couch and sit her down. I pull her back against me and wrap her up in my arms. "I love you. I know I've been a shit, but it's because I have so much on my mind."

"I know, and you never share any of it with me."

"I don't want to worry you, or stress you out. It's my job to figure out how I'm going to support us. You need to focus on you and  the baby. I've got everything else."

"That's just it. You're compartmentalizing everything. You have no part in any of the baby stuff."

"Because it's not important to me. I know you've been banging your head against the wall trying to figure out colors and themes. I don't care if we paint the room yellow, or green. I only care that we have a room to paint, and the crib for it to sleep in, and all the other things it needs. It's not that I don't care, it's that if picking out bedding with giraffes over teddy bears makes you happy, then that's what I want. You to be happy."

"You're never at any of the appointments. It scares me." Her hands move over her stomach. "It just reminds me that you don't really want this child."

"How can you say that?" I kiss her neck while I run my hands over her stomach as well. "I'm here with you. I'm trying to give you what you need."

"Have you fucked anyone else?"

I pull my hands away. I can't believe she's going there. "First of all, I haven't been with anyone else since the first time we had sex. I told you this already. Second of all, what would it matter? You were willing to have an open relationship with Mateo?"