"I don't love Mateo." The tears start. I can't wait until she gets her damn hormones under control. "I told you, that's not the kind of relationship I want with you."

"Well you never told me exactly what kind of relationship you do want with me."

She sits up so that we're no longer touching. I feel her pull away emotionally as well.

"It doesn't matter," she says struggling to get to her feet. "But for the record, I wanted it all with you. Love, marriage, the house with a white picket fence around it."

"Selene."

"Don't. I know that's not what you want. I'm sorry I said anything." I watch her in silence as she waddles to my bedroom and closes the door. I want to go after her, I do, but I can't get off the couch. My lungs won't take in anymore air, and I don't want her to see how her words are suffocating me.

Chapter 20

"Aww!" I hear at the bar coming from the other room where a bunch of women I don't know are oohing and ahhing over a gift Selene opened. Her mother, along with my sister and mother teamed up to arrange the shower. I know Selene thought she'd get one, but she didn't expect it until after the baby came since we don't know the sex. Of course that's my fault, because I didn't make it to the appointment where we'd learn the sex, and she didn't want to find out without me.

All week I've been trying very hard to be extra attentive to Selene. I hate that I'm making her feel like I don't want her in my life. Ever since she told me she didn't want to live when I left her in Italy, it's like I can't allow myself to really connect with her. Not the way I did before, because now I have to worry what she might do to herself if things don't work out. I know they were just words, but to me, they were a very real threat. Between that and her half-baked plan to move in with Mateo, I have a hard time looking at her the way I did before all this.

"I'm so glad you could make time in your busy schedule today. We've all heard how you can't be bothered showing up to anything baby related." Troy tries to kid. I've just about had it with his passive aggressive bullshit. If he wants to give it, he better be ready to take it as well.

"Yeah, well I knew Marlena would be here."

His stare is piercing. I know if he could get his hand on knife right now, He'd stick it through my heart.

"Your baby is due in no time, and you're making inappropriate jokes about my wife, you scumbag?"

"Hey, guys. This is supposed to be a happy occasion," Noah tries to ease the tension between us. "Let's get a round of tequila on me."

"Don't you think we'd be more productive if we're sober when we move all the crap?" Troy suggests.

"If we get too fucked up, the girls can drive. Just as long as we're not so shit faced that we can't carry the stuff to and from the car," Noah answers.

After our third round of shots and several beers, I glance at my watch. "I think it should be wrapping up soon."

My phone chimes alerting me to an email. Noah and Troy are going on about a touchdown we just watched on the bar's television that's now under review. Me, I couldn't care less so I check my email.

I see something new in my work inbox with contestant in the subject line from an email address I don't recognize. I know I should put my phone away, but I really don't care about the football game, and I don't want anything distracting me later. I know Selene is going to want to sort through all the presents with me when we get home. I have to show an interest and pretend I give a shit. I open the email now so later I can give her my undivided attention.

I scan it quickly before opening the video attachment.

The camera is zoomed in on a pretty woman's face. She's looking at the camera from under her long dark hair and unnaturally thick eyelashes. Her eyeliner is heavy around the eyes, and her teeth are digging into her very full bottom lip.

"So, I'm not sure what Anything Goes is really about, but I do know that the winner walks away with fifty grand. And Mr. Cooper," the way she said my name breathy and flirty, hits me in the pants. "I could really use the money."

I should close out of this and wait until I'm alone, because I have a feeling this isn't your average, run of the mill cooking audition tape. Her eyes shift to the side of the room, and then back to the camera. Her tongue darts out of her mouth as she runs it back and forth over her super glossed bottom lip. I'm entranced.

"Remember, Mr. Cooper. If you like what you see, I'll be happy to have an interactive live audition for you." The camera zooms out, and she takes off her robe and tosses it to the floor. She's standing naked in front of the camera.

I swallow hard, soaking in her perfect body. She's curvy and round, exactly what a woman should be. I'm not sure if it's the look in her eyes, or her large, perky tits that have me unable to take my eyes off the screen.

An instrumental piece starts somewhere in the background as she backs up onto a four poster bed, the camera moving along with her. She settles herself so that her back is leaning against the headboard keeping her elevated. She's not laying down, nor purely upright, and her legs are spread wide, giving me a very good view of her perfectly hairless pussy.

"By the way, I love poster beds, they make getting tied up so much fun."

My thumb and forefinger stroke my chin as I watch her rub her too-large-for-her-hands tits playing with and pinching the nipple of each one.

"What the fuck are you watching?" I hear Troy's voice, but it's distant, far away. The moans coming from the girl, as she picks a huge fucking dildo up from under the covers and sticks it inside her, are what's filling my ears.

"Dude, you're fucking watching porn at a baby shower? You really are a sick motherfucker."

"It's not porn," I answer, not bothering to look at him. "At least nothing I set out to find. She sent this to me. It's fucking hot as hell!"

"Let me see," Noah pushes Troy trying to get in on the action.

"No way. You're with Lexi, you don't get to eye fuck girls anymore."

"Holy shit!" Troy almost shouts, "She's deep throating it!"

He's referring to the dildo that up until thirty seconds ago was pumping in and out of her. Now she's got it in her mouth licking and sucking it in a way that's making all three of us jealous.

"You are such a fucking pig, Cooper Sutton!" I turn to the shrill voice behind me. "We're here to celebrate your baby, and you're showing off your past conquests."

"Jealous it's not you?"

I don't know what hits me first, Marlene's palm, or Troy's fist. I slide off the bar stool onto the floor. Then the yelling starts.

"You ever talk to my wife like that again, I will fuck you up!"

"Troy, it's fine. He isn't worth it."

Marlena gets between us and works on backing him up. I don't know what's up his ass lately. Anytime I speak to her or mention her to him, it's like he wants to chop my junk off. Noah moves in front of Lexi so that she's protected in case Troy decides to dive after me. A few moments later, when things look a bit calmer my sister calls attention to the scene by sticking up for me and yelling at Troy.

Still sitting on the floor of the bar area, a shadow hovers over me. I look up to see who's standing there. It's Selene. She's holding my phone, watching. Tears stream from her eyes.

Fuck. Me!