Her eyes well up with tears. Finally a chink in that stone armor of hers.
"I made a mistake." I say much calmer now that I see I'm getting through to her. "A terrible, horrible mistake. I said things out of anger." I brush my thumb across her cheek. "I acted like a world class dick. Please, Selene. Let me make this right."
Her bottom lip trembles as she struggles to hold her tears back. "How?"
"Like this." I pull Selene into my arms and kiss her. She doesn't put up any resistance. Good. After a few seconds she relaxes and kisses me back. I know I need to do more, offer her more than a physical relationship. That's why I'm here. Because without her, my life is bleak. Empty. I'm not willing to give her up. Even if that means I have to be a father. Even if it means my life is going in a direction I never wanted it to. "Come home with me."
"For tonight?"
"For forever."
Chapter 18
The next three weeks pass in a blur. Selene's trying to take on extra shifts so she could make as much money as she can before she has to stop flying. Her flat belly has taken on a slight roundness that only shows when she's undressed, but it's only a matter of time. A matter of time before just a quick look at her will tell the world she's carrying a baby inside her. That's when I become the sole supporter for our growing family.
"Are you going to propose?" Noah asks packing the last box in the truck we rented to move Selene into my apartment.
"No fucking way. I'm not that stupid."
He drops the box down and stares at me. Shit I hope there's nothing too fragile in it.
"What?"
He shakes his head. "What the fuck is wrong with you? If that was your sister, I'd be on my knees asking her to marry me in the blink of an eye."
"If that was my sister, you wouldn't be able to get on your knees, because I'd break your fucking legs."
"You know what I mean, Cooper. If you love her, do the right thing."
"I do love her, shit-for-brains, and this is the right thing. For now. Let's see what happens. She wasn't going to marry that other fucker."
"She wasn't in love with the other fucker."
"I don't tell you what to do where Lexi's concerned, so don't stand here and lecture me."
"Actually you do tell me what to do where Lexi's concerned. In fact, you've sort of overrun our relationship."
I glare at him.
"But it's okay because we both love you. But unlike Lexi, Selene doesn't have a crazy-ass overprotective brother to keep you in line."
"So what? You applying for the job?"
"Maybe," he raises his brow. "It would be nice to pay you back for all the shit you caused between Lexi and me."
"Don't go there," I warn.
"Hey," Troy bangs on the side of the truck as he turns the corner, and peeks in. "Enough bullshitting, get back to work."
"Your just jealous because we're doing all the heavy lifting, acting like men, while you're stuck in there with the girls reaching for the shit on the high shelves." I needle him.
"Yeah, what can I say, that's what happens when you bronze your junk like a trophy. Oh, wait, I think that's what you'll be doing in a few months, won't you, Cooper?"
"Fuck you."
"Then we can stand side by side admiring the lives we used to have."
I know Troy is just giving me shit. He's been waiting a long time to make me eat my words. Not just about this, but about relationships and settling down with one person. All I have to say is this shit sucks.
*
In the beginning, I enjoy living with Selene. I don't have as much alone time as I'm used to when she has a few days off, but I like being with her. It's nice to come home to the smell of her home cooking. And the never ending supply of freshly baked cookies and muffins is incredible. I had no idea she was so skilled in the kitchen. Those skills are rivaled only by her skills in the bedroom. One more place she works hard to keep me happy.
I try to keep focus on these things rather than the fact that I feel trapped by this alien thing inside her. Trapped doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. I've had to make concession after concession. Having her move in with me, giving up my freedom to come and go as I please with no one to answer to, is just the tip of the iceberg. With the added responsibility of a family, I have to make big changes in my professional life.
First and foremost, I need a more reliable source of income. Modeling pays well, but it turns out that Kaycee did get a movie deal for the Jaxson Stone series, and the director wants to go with someone he's worked with before. What that translates into for me is less work.
She brings me to conventions with her and pays well for my time, but with a new face for Jaxson Stone, that will mean new covers, and no need for me. Without the regular work from her, I can't afford the lifestyle I'm accustomed to, let alone keeping the three of us in this lifestyle.
I don't know if it was my father's guilt, or if the planets aligned perfectly for me. But I didn't even have to think about how I would support us, it just fell right into my lap. Not only did I not know that my father led an "alternative lifestyle" I had no idea he gave up his monkey suit for show biz. Sort of. He's a hot shot producer. He and his new husband pitched a cooking reality show to one of the major networks and they picked it up.
My father expects Anything Goes to be a huge success. Mostly because his flamboyant husband Stephan will be the head judge. But he asked me to work for him, setting up interviews and meetings with prospective contestants. That means not only researching and screening them before they're selected, but doing it all on camera and hosting the show as well. Like the modeling gigs, it's not what I set out for, but it has potential to grow into something big.
"Will you be meeting me at the doctor's today?" Selene asks as I clean my breakfast dish off and place it in the dishwasher.
"I don't know, I'll do my best."
"You say that every month, and you've only made it to one appointment."
A long sigh escapes me. Not this bullshit again. I'm accepting responsibility for the kid, she's living with me, what more does she fucking want?
"I'm sorry, but someone has to work."
"You've had the date and time on your calendar for a month. Are you going to tell me you couldn't figure out another time to do whatever the hell it is you'll be doing?"
"I didn't say I won't be there."
"Yeah, you pretty much did. Don't you think I can read between the lines by now?"
No. No I really fucking don't or else she wouldn't have put us in this situation to begin with.
"Now that you're not working anymore it's that much more important that I find a way to pay for the bills. You're disability is going to run out eventually, and then what? How are we supposed to pay for the kid to eat? It can live off of your tits for only so long before it sucks you dry."
"Uhg!" Selene storms out of the kitchen. A few moments later I hear the bedroom door slam. She may not like what I have to say, but it's the truth. She's having a grand old time playing house, but one of us has to act like a grown up.
I don't bother going after her. I need to get to work and sort through hours of tape with the video editor. Selene will have to deal with her pissy attitude on her own. Once I get out of the elevator and head to the parking garage, I call my sister.