"That's what you say now. What happens when you pop the little bastard out? Then you'll be looking for money to pay for it."

"Fuck you, Cooper! And don't ever say anything like that about my baby again."

"Right. Your baby. It's all about you isn't it?"

"What does that mean?"

"What if the tables were turned? What if you didn't want it but I did? Then you'd have every right to kill it, and I still wouldn't have a fucking say. So it's all about you. I'm just the dumb ass that has to pay for the rest of my life."

"If you don't want to be part of our life, that's fine by me."

"Great. Have a nice fucking life."

I grab my suitcase out of the closet and start throwing my shit in it.

"Where are you going?" I hear desperation in her voice. It's familiar. It's how many of my nights ended with girls that thought I'd stay and hold them. Girls that were easy lays. I hoped to never hear that sound from Selene. But right now I couldn't care less. She betrayed me, in the worst way, and I want to be as far from her as possible. Another continent doesn't seem far enough.

Chapter 17

"I guess this summer fucked you up pretty bad, huh?" Noah asks.

"You have no idea." Fucked up doesn't even touch the surface. I was lost, alone. I had no one to turn to. "I don't know what was worse, finding out Selene was pregnant, catching you and Lexi together, or having my father tell me he's gay. And lucky me, it all happened in the same week."

"But you turned it around and it all worked out."

"Not all, Noah. Selene and I didn't work out."

"You don't know that. Make it right."

That's my best friend, always simplifying things. I look out the tiny window at the inky black sky. "She forgave me once, I don't think I'm lucky enough, or deserving enough for her to forgive me again. We don't even know if she's going to make it." My voice cracks. Tears streak down my face. I don't bother hiding them. I just swipe them away with my hand. I have no more pride, just regret. Regret for letting the best thing in my life slip through my fingers.

"Get this through that thick skull of yours, Cooper. She's going to make it. And you're going to get down on your knees and beg her to forgive your sorry ass one last time. And she will. Because she loves you."

*

I fall back to my memories once again. One week changed everything. Everything I know has been altered and nullified. What's worse, I have no one to turn to. No safe haven. No one to get lost in. I scroll through the contacts on my phone. I don't want to call anyone. No one can fill the void she left. No one can make my chest stop aching. Even though I feel trapped and betrayed by Selene, I miss her, and I can't shake the empty feeling inside me.

Under normal circumstances I'd turn to Noah, but I can't now. I caught that son of a bitch fucking my sister. My baby sister. I lost it when I caught her coming out of his room, dressed in his clothes. Even though I went with him and helped him make amends, I'm not on great terms with either of them. Especially since I had to own up to how I've spent years trying to keep them apart. And the cherry on this dung cake I'm being served, is finding out that my father has been leading a secret gay life since he left us. My father is gay. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?

It's like the only people that care about me, that really know me, conspired to make my life a living hell. I've never felt so lost or alone. Even if I had someone else to turn to, I don't want anyone. I want Selene. I pace around my apartment for the fiftieth time this morning. It's quiet and empty. The silence is deafening.

I want a distraction. I need one, but no matter what I do, or where I go, I'm reminded of why I'm so fucking uptight and miserable. No matter where I look, I see her. In my bed, on my couch.

Needing an escape and a diversion, I go down to the pool and swim a few laps. Physical exertion usually loosens me up. I use my pent up anger and frustration to fuel my arms as I cut through the water, pulling it behind me and propelling me forward with every stroke. It's not working. My muscles are tight, and I'm cramping up. Instead of thinking about breathing and the precision of my strokes, I'm wondering if Selene is alone, or if she already found someone to replace me.

I can't take it anymore. I have to go to her. I don't know if she's home, but it's the best place to start. I haven't attempted to contact her since I walked out on her, nor has she pinged me. I only hope she's not so furious that she won't respond at all. I don't want her to know I'm coming, but if she's not home, I'll need to reach out to her, and if she's across the county, I'll just have to go to her.

I shower and dress quickly, making sure to take the time to shave before I step out of my apartment. She loves to run her soft hands over my face when I'm clean shaven. Since I have no idea how she'll react to seeing me, I have to give her some incentive to hear me out.

I stop off at the little store in the building before heading to Selene's. I don't know what she's going to think of the little peace offering I got for her, but it's less about what she likes, more about sending a message: I'm sorry, and I'm here for her. Before I overthink things and change my mind, I get in the car focused on my mission. Win Selene back.

I stand outside her door poised to knock when the air is sucked from my lungs.

Voices.

Selene's, and a distinctly male voice. I don't have time to think about how much it hurts that she's moved on, I need to decide. Now. Stay or go? They're close. He's probably leaving. I look around for someplace to hide, to shield myself.

The door opens, and I'm standing like an idiot unable to move. I see him, but my eyes dart to the side just behind him, where Selene is. Those oceans of blue that I've been longing to see grow wide with surprise. Good.

"Let me guess, you're the boyfriend. I'm sorry, ex-boyfriend," the guys says to me, accentuating the last word, with his arms folded over his chest.

"I'm the boyfriend." I confirm and correct, knowing at once who it is. Mateo.

Before he says another word, Selene touches his arm, looks up at him and gives a slight shake of her head. Fuck. She's telling him she doesn't want to see me. I size him up. We're about the same build, although I'm sure I could take him.

Over the years I learned to channel the anger and pain into my fists. I don't fight often, especially not since I started modeling, but I'll do it now. If I have to, I'll fight to win my girl back.

"Selene?" Even I can hear the uncertainty in my voice as I say her name. I hate that I sound weak. I need to win her over with the same confidence I had when we met. She liked that. Only now, I'm not confident. About anything. Except that my life is falling apart without her in it.

"Go. I'll be fine." She says to her friend. God I hope that's all he is. Fucker moves fast.

A long moment passes with Mateo and we're caught in a stare down. I don't move. I don't blink. Ignoring me completely he turns to her and kisses her cheek. I'm straining to relax my fingers. They have a mind of their own, and the way they're clenching, balling up into fists, tells me they want to punch Mateo and break his perfect fucking nose.

On the bright side, if he and Selene moved out of the friend zone he'd be kissing her on the lips, not the cheek. It's the only bright spot in a bleak haze of darkness.

"I'll be back if you need me."