His arms encircle my waist, locking in place as he lifts his head, his mouth at my ear. “Damn, I love you. You’re everything to me, Tori.” Then he buries his face in my neck.

Every single bit of fear I’ve felt for the last ten years comes crashing down on me and the voice telling me to take deep breaths is suffocated along with the rest of me.

It’s been two days since I admitted that I loved her. And for two days now, she’s been incredibly “busy” and wrapped up in an “important” case. Despite my pushiness to spend the night Sunday and Monday night, she managed to blow me off each time.

I haven’t seen her and have barely spoken to her in two days, which is making me lose my goddamned mind.

Now, I sit here in the parking lot of the florist and am visibly shaking with stress that I may have pushed her away from me for good. The thought causes my stomach to ache and I wonder if I’ll fucking puke right here in my car.

With a frustrated growl, I jerk myself out of the car and stalk into the shop. I’ve missed the last two Tuesdays, spending them with Tori. When the clerk at the desk sees me, he takes a step back from the counter.

“Can I help you sir?”

I yank my wallet out and nod. “Daffodils.”

His eyes widen and for a moment fear flashes over his features. “Sir, we’re all out. There was a problem with our supplier but everything should be a go for next week.”

I gape at him, shock from his words momentarily stunning me.

No daffodils.

No flowers.

I’ve let her down.

Everything is a blur as I exit the shop and get back into my car. Not bothering to turn it on, I grip the steering wheel and thump my head against it. Softly at first—enough to be annoying. But then I find myself slamming my forehead against it as quickly and as hard as I can. With each blow, darkness explodes over my vision and I sway with dizziness.

Those flowers are all I can give to her.

And they don’t fucking have them.

Slam after slam, I punish myself.

Memories of the hospital, after the accident, crash over me.

“Code Gray!” the nurse shrieks as she smashes the button on my bed.

I’m twice her size and I can see the fear in her eyes.

Of me.

Just like Ashley.

Well, they should be afraid of me.

I’m a fucking monster.

With a roar, I continue slinging shit into the floor and crashing into anything and everything in my way. When my bare feet slip on the crushed vase on the floor that was full of flowers from my sister, I drop to my knees and jerk up a chunk of the glass.

“Chase,” the nurse says in a calm tone. “Put the glass down. Let me give you something to calm you.”

I shoot her a venomous glare. “Calm me? I’ll be calm when I’m dead too!”

I squeeze the glass in my fist with all my strength, desperate to feel the biting pain, but it isn’t sharp enough to exact any damage. Seconds later, a security guard, my doctor, and three nurses blast in. I scream and thrash but they manage to restrain me. Soon, the frightened nurse presses a needle into my vein and a calmness washes over me.

“Everything will be okay, Chase,” she coos and strokes the hair away from my forehead and then sets to checking on the bandage along my hairline. “But open up this wound again and I’ll be forced to take you over my knee.”

Her playful attempts to lift my spirits have my heart warming. Visions of the tiny nurse spanking me as if I’m some child bring a real smile to my lips before I’m stolen away by my nightmares.

I blink my eyes open when I hear voices on the other side of my window. The world tilts and I squint to see the concerned clerk on the other side. His eyes widen and he shouts through the window.

“Sir, can I call 911 for you?”

I drag my gaze to see blood staining my jeans and down the front of my shirt. Glancing quickly into the mirror, I see that I’ve not only cracked both lenses in my glasses but I also busted my nose during my meltdown.

Shit.

“No, I, uh… let me call my girlfriend.”

My brain is fuzzy and I’m confused. Hauling my phone from my pocket, I dial her number.

“Ms. Larkin’s phone,” Stacey answers. Her voice is firm, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was prepared for my phone call. To deflect my getting through to Tori. Traitor.

“Let me speak to her,” I demand.

“Chase, I’m sorry but she’s with a cl—”

I cut her off. “I need her help. I’m hurt and not right in the fucking head, Stacey.”

She goes silent but I can hear her muffled words, she and Tori arguing. Eventually Tori speaks.

“Chase, I’m really busy and—”

“Why are you pushing me away?”

My head throbs and I jerk off my broken glasses, tossing them onto the floorboard. Blood continues to pour from my nose and I lean against the headrest.

“Chase? What’s wrong? You sound different?”

I am different.

I’m fucking broken.

“Um, I don’t know. I can’t see and my glasses are broken. Please come get me and take me home. I’ll leave you alone after that. I just need to see you one last time.”

She starts barking orders to Stacey and I hear a jingle of keys. “Chase, where are you? I don’t like all this talk of not seeing me again. I’m coming to get you.”

I can’t remember the address so I roll down the window and hand my bloody phone to the clerk. He seems horrified but snatches the phone. In hushed tones, he rattles out words that don’t make sense to me. Rolling my eyes back, I doze off and dream of Tori.

“Chase, honey, wake up.” A sweet voice calls out to me, dragging me from my dark, warm, quiet place in my head.

I blink my eyelids open to see Tori—ever an angel—tearfully regarding me.

“Hey, baby.” My words seem casual and relief floods her features.

She dabs a warm cloth under my nose and cleans me. “You scared the living shit out of me,” she mutters and pins me with a firm glare.

“Aren’t you busy with a case?” I question, still unable to shake the haze that cloaks me.

A tear rolls down her cheek and she shakes her head. I don’t miss the guilt that morphs her features into a sad one. “You’re more important.”

Warmth surges through me at her words. “I missed you.”

She chokes out a sob. “I missed you too.”

“Need help getting him to the other side?” Stacey questions from outside the car.

Together, with the help of the clerk, they all help me out of the car and to the other side. I’m not helpless but disorient prevents me from arguing. Once I’m settled and buckled in on the other side, Tori climbs in and starts the car.

“Hey,” I grumble as she puts my car into gear. “You can’t drive her.”

She laughs through her tears. “Well, glad to see you’re feeling more like yourself. And too damn bad. If you’re going to hurt yourself and call me away from work, then I’m going to fuss over you and drive your ass around like Miss Daisy. So shush your mouth and let me take care of you.”

Eventually, we’re stumbling into my bedroom in which Tori sets to undressing me.

“Are you hurt?” I question, dragging my fingertips over her white blouse that’s stained with blood.

She frowns. “No, baby. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

After a long, hot, clumsy shower, I crawl into bed naked and watch with a fucking pout as Tori dresses in a pair of yoga pants and T-shirt.

“Don’t look at me like I killed your dog, Chase. I’m just running to pick up a few items at the store. I’ll be back in twenty minutes with food and you had better be ready to talk.”

Seeing her dress in my room seizes my heart and it aches at the prospect of her doing it every day for the rest of her life. I don’t want her anywhere but here. With me. Forever.