I could not forget, and it must have been a week before a grand stiff stander admonished me that a cunt was an useful article, and that in the sweetest woman it is only an inch or so from her arsehole. Then my mind recurred to the fresh, velvety skinned, plump little Liz. I forgot the dirtiness and went again.
Sarah told me that the girl had fretted so, that she had never left her alone. — It was my own fault, had the girl washed after my first fuck she'd have washed her bum. — The girl could scarcely look at me and cried. — “I thought you'd never come again.” “I knew he would.” “You like poking her too much to keep away long” (to me).
My swelling cunt stretcher made me forget all for the minute — I watched her strip. — How nice she looked as she drew garment off after garment, and each girlish beauty came into view. I was soon in bed with her.
Directly I had consummated, the nasty recollection returned, and it did so at times afterwards. At length I forgot it for the little girl was scrupulously and naturally clean in everything.
The violence of desire for her being over, and having fucked myself out, and also fucked, frigged, and gamahuched her into similar condition, I saw her less frequently. — Sarah did not get money by her and that was her regret, the girl missed my doodle and that was her regret. — I rarely now gave her money; but set her up in all sorts of clothing. Sarah never talked all this time of getting rid of the girl as she had to the others.
I tried to get out of Lizzie who she was, and where she came from, and as usual altogether failed. It is the lifficulty with most of the girls. Every thing else I learnt — I tried to pump her at critical moments, when with finger on her clitoris, or when her hand was round my prick, or when lewed with each other, her heart would naturally open to me, but she said she dare not, she was frightened of Sarah. — But little by little a bit of her history leaked out, and I think that she was an only child of a widowed mother, and living almost in want. — Liz seemed never to have worked in the fields. She spoke with a provincial dialect which she soon began to lose. She never seemed to have mixed with any of her own sex, excepting on Sundays, nor to have played with boys; and she was surprizingly ignorant of baudiness. She understood mangling and washing, and was a beautiful needle woman. She said she could milk, bake, make butter, and sausages. Her mother did mangling, and she helped to earn their living at needle work. I think she was the illegitimate child of a gentleman who allowed her mother a small stipend, and that she was a relation of Sarah's. — She told me her mother had brown hair. — Was she like Sarah I asked. — The girl was going to answer, then she looked hard at me for a minute and replied. — “No” — I believe Sarah was her aunt.
She knew that boys' cocks stood, — She and another girl had made a boy's about five years old stand “she was a nuss gal.” The boy was quite quiet while the “nuss gal” made it stiff, — “Can you do that (fuck) as often as you like?” was one of her earliest questions to me. “And won't nothen coom out till it be stiff?” — I know now from the questions I have put to many young lasses, that they all feel little boys' cocks, and delight in making them stiff. — Instinct teaches them to do so.
Sarah, who I am sure had then lost her man, and was more and more impecunious, used to come home early, often ill tempered and low spirited. Unasked she then would get into bed with us. — She was kind in an extra-ordinary degree to Lizzie, would kiss her when laying by the side of her, and always ask how often I had fucked (generally now but twice.) — Sarah's fingers were always on the little one's cunt. — She laughed when I found them there, and then used to push her hand over Lizzie and catch hold of my prick. — In those attitudes we went on talking till I fucked again. Sometimes Sarah used to feel Lizzie whilst I was fucking her, and frig herself at the same time. She made no secret about it now. — “I must do something, I don't often spend with a man, and like frigging while you are doing Liz.”
Previously I had somehow formed the opinion that Sarah liked feeling the cunts of young ones, but thought nothing much about it. One day she was slightly screwed, and got into bed, just as I got out to piddle, then pulling every thing up and showing all her parts she said. — “I'm getting stout doctor aren't I?” — I felt her bum and belly and just opened her cunt lips. — “I want a fuck so, give me one.” — “I'll try after I have had Liz again.” — Sarah turned round and clutching Liz, lifted her on to her belly, began to kiss her passionately, twisted her limbs over her, and wriggling her belly up to her so that their cunts were close together, moved as if fucking. — Liz tried to get away. “Don't now, don't.” After a few heaves Sarah let her go, laughing, turned her rump towards us and frigged herself.
I thought of this a good deal, and it increased my desire for knowledge. This form of sexual voluptuousness amongst women now haunted me. I question Liz about Sarah's behaviour in bed with her, for she always now slept with her, and no man was ever there. — It was not as formerly when Sarah said, “You must not come for three days,” and so on. I found that Sarah had a letch for frigging herself, and that with the young one seemed her solace in the absent pleasure with the male. Her taste for the man it may be was diminishing. She had done this almost from the first day Liz came to London. Then I guessed that Sarah did something more. — I asked questions, and threatening not to see Liz any more if she did not tell me the truth. She disclosed that Sarah pulled the girl on the top of her, and pressing clitoris to clitoris rubbed them to-gether, till Sarah at least had the full enjoyment of that voluptuous friction. — It was flat fucking, tribadism, the amusement of girls at boarding schools and con-vents, and perhaps harems (and often as I know since, of some harlots).
“Don't tell her,” said Liz. — “She has made me promise not, and says you'd hate me if you knew of it — you won't hate me will you? I don't like her thinging me — I don't like her wet thing in mine.” “Is it not nice?” “It be a little nice sometimes, but I don't like thinging like that.” — I promised to keep Lizzie's secret.
“You call it thinging, why?” “Cos her thing be gin my thing,” said the girl laughing, — “it be like two snails.” I roared with laughter at such an illustrative remark, and never heard flat fucking called thinging before or since. (I have since heard a funny term for it tho.)
Then I began to think flat fucking, and recollected what in my youth Fred had said, and what I had been told by Camille of women rubbing their cunts together, that I had seen two French women doing it (for my amusement, as I thought, and simply to show me how by placing themselves like a man and woman in copulation, they could close their cunts on each other). One woman I recollected had a strongly developed clitoris and I had not liked it. But I did not believe in women having pleasure that way, and the baudy sight had passed from my mind. Nor had any clear idea of the truth even arisen in my mind, when I saw two servants on each other in the bath room at my cousin's school, or Gabrielle on Violette.
I had heard since of women flat fucking, and suddenly recollected a row at a brothel, in which the amusement had been referred to.
When I spent my first fortune, I took after longish continence, to visiting harlots who let me have them for five shillings, and would let a man do almost any thing. One night I went to see a woman and arrived just as she was having a row with a woman who was about forty-five years old. My girl came into the room with me, but unable to contain herself, left me; and I opening the door, heard her and another lodger bullying the woman for getting quite young a girl into her bed. “You old cat, you dirty slimy cunted old bitch. — I'll tell them all.” She came back into the room with me and slammed the door. She was slightly screwed and noisy. “The old bitch gets Mary who's not four-teen years old into bed with her. — It's the little servant here — and pulls her about — Polly *** caught her at it, and the girl said she did.”