“Adam,” I warn.

“The way I see it,” he sighs and sets the frame down, making complete eye contact with me. “You have two choices. Obviously, you love her, or you wouldn’t have let her watch Hannah abruptly like you did. Obviously, she means the world to you or else you wouldn’t be so upset right now about all of this. You can storm into her office, piss her off, embarrass her and make her tell you…. OR you can do it the civil way, and actually talk about the shit that bothers you.” He stands and shrugs, then walks towards the door. “Your call, B. I just don’t want you to do something rash and regret your decision. I’ve seen how happy you were before you mom passed… I think Gabby has a lot to do with that. I love you and will always. She is a huge reason why Annaliese and I are together so I’ll always have a soft spot for her as well. I may come off as brass and mean and stubborn, but I fight for those I love. I love you both, but you both have growing and learning to do before you can move forward.”

I’m speechless. Mr. Chicago talking so freely about his feelings? I know he thinks the world of me… what with helping speed up my adoption, helping with the funds for Carly’s funeral last year, and even helping out with Hannah whenever he can. He’s a better uncle than most blood relatives are but he’s never come out and said anything like this before.

“I don’t want to see either of you get hurt, that’s all.” He slightly grins at me and shrugs again.

“I appreciate that man.” I sigh and run my hands down my face. “I don’t think she’s hiding anything bad…. I’m sure it’s just insecurities or something.” I hope so at least, but something tells me there’s more to it.

“Yea… well either way… I want you both happy. Sure I give you a hard time about her, but it all has been so weird, B. I don’t like not being in the know, and you kept this from me for a long time. I’m worried… for both of you. I just want you guys to be as happy as I have become with Annaliese.”

With that as his sign off, he leaves my office, not closing the door behind him.

Asshole has a very valid point, and, as much as I want answers now, I know it’s only going to hurt both of us if I don’t go into this level headed. Maybe she has a reason she lied to me. Maybe there’s a perfectly good explanation of why she won’t tell me what’s really going on with her. I’ve seen the results from the nightmares, the shaking hands when out in public with Hannah. I’ve seen all these little things but none of it makes sense. Gabby is the typical American twenty-something woman. She’s smart, sexy, funny… she has the world ahead of her and a backbone to get it.

What’s she keeping from me?

Too upset to get any work done, I head out for an early lunch and call Dr. Travers on the way. Maybe he can help me out with these feelings of rage.

“Hey, Benton,” he answers, happy all the damn time. “What’s up?”

“I didn’t really expect you to answer,” I grumble. I love Dr. T; I just wish I had half of his optimism at times.

“It’s my lunch break, and I know what you’ve been going through. I saw the papers, son. I’m terribly sorry about your mother.”

“Thanks. Listen… I need to talk,” I sigh, running my hands through my hair. “You got a minute?”

“Absolutely, as long as you don’t mind me crunching in your ear,” he laughs. “What’s on your mind?”

I don’t plan on it, but I proceed to tell him everything. Every time I think I’ve heard rattling pills, to the gazed look she has at times, to the panic I see when I watch her out in public. Everything. When I’m finally done, I hear him take a breath and sigh.

Great, here we go. Now he can tell me how crazy I am for making myself fall in love with a woman who’s obviously broken.

“I’d like you to come in, Benton. Can you do that?”

“Uh… sure. When?” it’s weird he won’t talk to me over the phone. We’ve had a ton of these conversations before, but now he’s needing to see me in person?

“Thursday work for you? I have time in the evening. Six work?”

“Yeah. Sure, I’ll see you then,” I say, confused.

“Hey Benton, just don’t do anything rash right now, okay? You know the truth, everyone is safe, just… don’t let the anger get the best of you. We’ll talk Thursday, okay?”

“Great,” I mumble, hanging up.

A knock on my door makes me look up as soon as I set the phone down.

“Mr. James… there’s a Gabby Rosdale here to see you?” Sue says from my doorway, looking about as confused as I feel.

“Send her in,” I say, pissed that all I want to do is yell and ask why she lied to me.

The minute I see her, though, all the anger washes away and it’s replaced by sadness. Sadness that this woman I love feels like she can’t trust me with the truth. Jesus, all these fucking feelings. It was never like this with Carly. We were high school sweethearts; I never had these mature feelings of a new relationship with her.

“Hey, you,” I say, wrapping my arms around my life force. Gabby sighs, wrapped in my arms, then I feel her whole body shudder. “God, Gab, what’s wrong baby?” I ask in a hushed tone, gently shutting the door before wrapping my arms back around her. I thought she looked sad when she walked in, but she definitely didn’t start crying until she was here in my arms. “Hey,” I say gently, moving the hair out of her face to see her beautiful light brown eyes. Eyes that still amaze me. The right is still a little… cloudy… which worries me, but I’m sure she’s fine. It’s only like it when she seems over tired or emotional. I’ve never seen something like that on a person before, but I’m starting to believe nothing with Gabby will shock me.

She’s full on crying now, in my arms, so I take her to the couch and sit down with her. She keeps apologizing for something, but I can’t understand what she’s trying to say to me.

“Shhh,” I whisper. “It’s gonna be ok, Gab. You just need to talk to me, baby. I can’t help you until you talk to me.” I’m starting to worry something terrible happened. She’s crying so hard, shaking like she’s scared. Goddamnit.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for bothering you, I just…” she hiccups and sniffles, backing away from me and turning, so I can’t see her beautiful face. No, no she needs me, but she’s pushing me away. Why the hell is she doing this?

“Gabby, just tell me what’s wrong,” I push, walking towards her and taking her arm in my hand gently. She turns and her light brown eyes hit mine again and my heart sinks. She’s so sad. “Please.”

“They let me go,” she sniffles. “The fucking firm filled my position last week when I didn’t show.” Fuck. She was fired because of me. Shit!

“Gabby… shit. This is all my fault. I’m so sorry,” I say, taking her in my arms. She won’t let me coddle her, though. Like she doesn’t want help… which makes no sense because she came to me. What the hell is happening? “Didn’t you have leave to take?” I’m so confused why they’d fire her without any warning.

She shakes her head and sniffles.

“I haven’t been there long enough. It’s nothing. I’ll find another job, I just… after last week… and I haven’t been feeling well… and shit.” She curses, shaking her head. “God, you’re probably thinking I’m bat shit crazy right now!” her laughter fills the room, but it’s not happy laughter. It’s scared laughter.

“Gabby, I don’t think you’re crazy,” I say, taking her hands in mine. “I love you, Gabby.”

The second the words slip out of my mouth, I see her face fall, and know I didn’t exactly do that right. Fuck. Oh shit, what did I just do?

“I mean… You’re… I…” I try to justify my words. I try to make it not look so scary to her… but I can’t. I fucking love her, lies and all.

What the hell is wrong with me?

“Oh,” her eyes go wide and her hands start to tremble in mine.

Well, that’s a fucking reaction someone wants to see when he or she admits their love.