I suddenly regret giving her that last pill. Giving her any pills. I hate pills. I hate thizz.

The house is almost empty. The bikers scared everyone away. Even the DJ left.

Arnie comes out of the kitchen with the two girls from the garage trailing behind him. “Are you guys out?” He takes Nick’s hand and they bump chests.

“Yeah, I’m taking Dani home. You guys can hang out. Just make sure you call me if any shit goes down.” Any apprehension I had about Nick staying with me disappears when I see the girls from the garage. The last thing I want is Nick alone with them.

Arnie pulls Nick to the side, away from the girls. “Dude, everyone’s fading and nobody’s got any funds. Can I hook these two up?”

Nick looks at the girls and smiles. They smile back. I want to scratch their eyes out.

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Arnie holds up his hand for a high five.

“But Matt’s in charge,” Nick adds. Matt looks up with a bewildered expression. He’s really high.

“Hell yeah! I told you we’re all getting laid tonight,” Arnie says to me.

I look at Nick and scowl; he shrugs like he didn’t say anything. “Let’s go.” Before I change my mind.

“Later, D.” Arnie gives me a hug. “Take care of my boy.”

“Dude, shut the fuck up,” Nick scolds him as they shake hands.

Arnie pretends to be sorry, but we all know he isn’t.

Nick offers his hand to Matt and they do their ritual handshake. Matt’s eyes never leave mine. He’s sorry. Sorry I’m leaving. Part of me is too.

I don’t remember the drive home or how I even got in the house. One minute I’m standing in the living room of the beach house saying goodbye to Matt. The next thing I know I’m in my room undressing while Nick watches from the doorway. He’s grinning as I struggle to pull off my boots. He laughs when I fall onto the bed. The pill Matt gave me kicked in. I’m totally wired. Totally not myself. Totally happy Lucy isn’t home. I get my foot untangled from my pants and toss them on floor in front of Nick. He stops laughing. His eyes follow my hands as I unhook the buttons on my shirt. When I reach the bottom button, he steps inside and closes the door. I don’t think I’m much to look at, but Nick doesn’t seem disappointed.

Nick takes his shirt off and I realize I’ve never seen him shirtless. His body is nothing like Matt’s. Matt’s chest and abs have more of a natural curve. They suit his build. Nick’s body is bulky. He has a deep V separating his abs and hips.

I reach for his hand and pull him onto the bed. He pauses slightly to kick his shoes off. Each one falls to the ground with a thump, and he arranges himself beside me. Until this moment I felt as if I were putting on a show. That I was just going through the motions, not really committing to what we are about to do. All of that changes once I’m wrapped in his arms. This is the most intimate we’ve ever been, and not because we’re lying half naked in bed. I’ve never felt as close to him as I do right now. My jaw tightens and my teeth chatter. I take a deep breath to try and gain some control. It’s really difficult given the amount of drugs I’ve taken tonight.

Nick runs his hand down the side of my face then lowers his lips to mine. I’m lost in the movement of his mouth when he kisses me and the way he pulls me closer with every breath he takes. Just as I fully succumb to the rush of emotions flowing through my body, he pulls back.

“Is something wrong?” I ask nervously. Then I realize we’ve forgotten something. “Don’t worry. There’s, um, protection in the bathroom.” Lucy has kept the bottom drawer stocked with condoms ever since she found out we were dating.

“It’s not that.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “I actually brought something.” He blushes, then slides a misplaced hair from my face. “I just wanted to look at you.” The utter devotion I feel is indescribable. If I ever had any doubt about my feelings for Nick, they are washed away in this moment.

“I love you, Dani.” The vulnerability in his voice makes my chest ache. I don’t know how to respond. Words are just words. Saying I love you isn’t enough. I need to show him.

I want to believe the millions of tingles rushing through me have nothing to do with thizz. That the chills, the pleasure, the euphoria I’m experiencing is without a doubt, one hundred percent caused by Nick.

Only that would be a lie.

I slide into the booth next to Nick and watch the parking lot of the diner. Nick and I felt pretty confident after the party when Will said he had everything under control. That was a week ago. Sitting in the diner across from Will Walker today, I’m not feeling as bullet proof.

“Shit isn’t looking too good, kiddo.” Steam from the scalding hot coffee rises around Will’s face, making the situation even creepier. “Devon made a deal with those DGC assholes. They’re giving him Humboldt.”

Nick swears under his breath. This is a guy who gets everything he wants. He isn’t going to give up without a fight. “So, we’re out. Just like that?”

“It’s politics, Nicky. Shit that goes way beyond a bunch of kids slinging dope.” Will leans back and rests his arm across the back of his bench seat.

Nick makes a grunting noise at Will’s comment. Politics or not, Nick is offended.

Will realizes he’s just insulted his nephew and starts to backpedal. “I didn’t mean it like that.” He reaches over and messes Nick’s hair. “I’ve got bigger problems to deal with. They’re trying to pin me with a double homicide. I can’t make any moves until this blows over. I gotta find this witness. I have my guys on the street using some fancy online shit. It’s all fucking high tech now.”

I choke on my spit and start to cough as I think about Dani. The story she told me about her parents, the shooting. I have to make sure it’s just a coincidence. “Do you know who you’re looking for?” I clear my throat. The cop said it was the daughter of the people that were killed. So, it can’t be Dani. She said she didn’t see anything. She said it was a waiter.

Will’s eyes shoot in my direction like he just realized I was sitting here. “Don’t worry about what I know. My intel is solid. It’s a witness, that’s all you need to know.”

I relax when he doesn’t say it’s the daughter. Even if it isn’t Dani, the thought that any girl is being hunted by Will makes me sick. He wouldn’t care about the witness if he was innocent.

We’re sitting at a table having coffee with a murderer. I continue choking. Nick slides me his iced tea and asks Will if he can help.

Will laughs and leans in towards Nick. “Look at you, ready to put in work for me.” He rustles Nick’s hair again. It’s so demeaning, yet Nick looks like a happy puppy. He’s so desperate for Will’s approval, he’d do anything for him; even help him hunt an innocent girl.

“I want to help. I’ll do whatever I have to. I can’t lose Humboldt. We’re building something huge here. We have guys in Arcata and Chico…”

Will cuts Nick off. “Forget Humboldt. You’re out of here in a few months anyway.” Will’s phone buzzes, and he walks outside to answer it.

Nick looks at me, confused.

“I think he means college.” I clear my throat.

Nick lets out a long sigh. He doesn’t want to have this conversation with his uncle, and I really don’t want to be here for it. Nick throws some money on the table and we head outside. Will is standing by his truck. He’s got a Ford F150. It’s covered in mud, like he’s been off-roading.