“What happened to him?”

“He became a memory. I think about him from time to time but it doesn’t make my heart ache the way that it used to.” She held her beer next to mine. “So bottoms up.”

I knocked the bottle against hers. “You’re right.” I heard myself say it but my heart wasn’t buying it.

“You can call me any time when you’re still in the not yet before the memory quits hurting, okay?”

I reached out and hugged her. “I wish you were going to college with me.”

“I know, but the timing isn’t right.” She took another sip and tilted her head, her earrings flashing. “And you know what a believer I am in timing.”

“I know.” I laughed even though I really didn’t feel like it. “Do me a favor after I’m gone?”

“Anything.”

“I don’t want to hear a thing about Ryan. Good news, bad news. Nothing. Don’t pass any messages to me. I’ll get my number changed and I’ll tell Mom not to give it to him. The only way that I can move on is to not hear about him, not talk to him. Because if I hear the sound of his voice, it’ll be my undoing.”

“You won’t get anything out of me about him. It’ll be like he never existed,” Brooklyn agreed.

That wasn’t true. I would always know that Ryan existed. I carried the memory of his touch, the image of his face and he had my heart. I would always be a part of him and he would always be a part of me. But hopefully Brooklyn was right. Maybe one day it wouldn’t hurt so much.

*

RYAN

“Brooklyn’s right. We could die today. So if you want to drop me off and go, I understand,” I said as Zane drove toward the pool hall where Chanos hung out and where we suspected everyone was headed.

Zane’s jaw clenched but he ignored what I’d said and eased the car to a stop at a red light. “You were pretty harsh with Tana. I know why you're pushing her away, but you were an asshole.”

“Yeah. I was. I did what had to be done. I need her to be safe and that’s only going to happen if she stays away from me.”

“It’d be hard to walk away from a girl like that.”

“I don’t know that I walked away as much as I crawled.” I swallowed. “I feel like someone ripped my nuts out through my heart.”

“That’s what loving a girl does to you, man.” Zane swung the car into the parking lot of the pool hall. I didn’t see Juvante’s car anywhere. Zane let the car move forward until we circled around back out of view of the road. “Try not to hurt anyone by passing out on them, will you?”

“I can handle this,” I said.

“With one good eye right now, you can only see half a person coming at you.”

“Then I’ll hit that half.” I sucked in a breath as I pushed the car door open and got out. I had to put a hand on the roof of his car to steady myself, hating how weak I felt.

We walked in through the back door and gave it a few minutes for our eyes to adjust to the dimmer light. The air conditioning blasted us and was a welcome relief after the heat. Chanos laughed in the corner of the room and the sound grated on me, growing louder as Zane and I advanced toward the pool tables.

The light flooded the room again as the door opened and Ryker, Cooper and Juvante joined us. “Got Roman and Clarke outside on the lookout,” Juvante said.

We moved forward together and the laughter died down. Chanos straightened from the table where he’d been about to take a shot. He gripped the pool stick and his gaze went instantly wary, then darkened when he saw Cooper. There was plenty of bad blood between him and my brother. He swung his dark gaze my way. “Who told you it was okay for dogs to come into my house?”

“Your girlfriend told me I could come anywhere I wanted,” Cooper taunted.

Chanos curled his lip and let loose a string of venomous words in his language.

The muscle around the pool table shifted, edging toward us.

I tensed, ready to fight even though every cell in my body was calling out for me to sink to my knees and fade into oblivion.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Chanos demanded, with another cold stare my way. “Have you been away so long you’ve forgotten that you don’t bring others in unless I tell you it’s okay?”

I stared at Chanos, knowing what I had to do. “One of us is leaving in a body bag.”

He tossed aside the pool stick and it landed against the balls, scattering them across the table. “Say goodbye to your brothers, then.”

The back door flung open and Clarke rushed in, his arm extended. The gun I’d buried waved nervously in the air. His eyes were wide and reddened and it was easy to tell he was hopped up on something.

“I didn’t know he had it. I tried to stop him.” Roman reached for Clarke but Clarke stepped to the side and waved the gun around.

Roman jumped to the side, away from the barrel. “Whoa! Shit. Put that down.”

“Clarke, let me have that.” I edged toward him.

Clarke kept his focus on Chanos. “My brothers shouldn’t have to pay for what I did. Especially Ryan.” Tears tracked down Clarke’s face. “He looked out for me when no one else would. He’s a good person. I’m the one who messed up. I took your drugs and I started this war.” He sniffed. “I should pay for this. Not him. Not them.”

“Then put your gun down and let’s do this man to man,” Chanos said wiggling his fingers toward the gun. He took a step closer to Clarke.

“Stay the fuck away from him.” I moved between them and shoved Chanos back. The movement hurt my shoulder and I bit back a groan. Turning to face Clarke, I held out my hand. “Come on, man. Give me the gun.”

“I’ll make you beg to die.” Chanos took another step forward in an effort to grab Clarke.

“Stay the fuck back,” Ryker barked.

“Why? Clarke won’t shoot,” Chanos sneered. “He’s a coward. A pussy that couldn’t—”

Clarke pulled the trigger and the sound was deafening as the bullet zipped past my ear. Everything exploded into chaos as the pool hall descended into hell. The muscle with Chanos fired back and I screamed at my brothers to take cover. The air filled with the odor of gunpowder as glasses on the counter shattered and the fragments rained down as bullets plowed into them.

Clarke pulled the trigger until there were no more bullets left, then he began reloading. That’s when I saw one of the guys with Chanos stand up from behind the pool table and take aim at Clarke.

“No! Clarke, get down!” I flung my body into the air, but the beating I’d taken had slowed my reflexes. The first bullet caught me in the side. The second one in the leg. The floor was so far away. I hung suspended in the air, futilely trying to grab Clarke to make sure he was safe, and then I fell down forever.

The bullets peppered the air, some of them plowing into the floor right beside me. I tried to move, tried to crawl forward to make sure my brothers were okay but I couldn’t make my body work right. I wheezed as I struggled to draw in enough oxygen. The sticky wetness of what I hoped was only my blood covered my side and leaked onto my back.

“I got you, man.” Juvante covered me, his face screwed up like he was about to cry.

“Let’s get him out of here.” Cooper started dragging me toward the door and I saw one of the muscle take aim at Cooper’s head.

Ryker took him down with a pool stick shot to the balls and the bullet meant for Cooper ended up in the ceiling.

“You idiot. What the hell have you done?” Zane demanded, after staring at Clarke.

“We’ll sort it out later. Let’s get the hell out of here,” Cooper said.

Clarke leveled a zombie like stare at each one of us. “I’m not leaving. Go.”

The guy Ryker hit with the pool stick tried to rise and Clarke calmly popped a shot off near the guy’s head. He muttered and hit the floor to crawl under the table.

“What the fuck has gotten into you?” Roman demanded as sirens started in the distance.