Clarke bounced beside me on the bed and I groaned again as the movement jarred my ribs.

“Dumbass, sit on the other bed,” Roman ordered. After Clarke moved, Roman said, “We’ve all talked it over.”

“This isn’t your fight alone,” Ryker said.

“It’s all of us or none of us.”

“You’re not involved. None of you.” I waved my hand. “I took care of it and I’ll take care of Chanos. Everything’s fine.”

“How is everything fine? You broke Mama Leena’s heart, your girl hates you, you’re back in a gang and you got your ass kicked.” Ryker said.

“It’s part of the plan.” I tried to sound tough but it was hard to talk plainly through the busted lips.

“Screw your plan,” Juvante said.

“What are you going to do?” I squinted at Cooper.

It was Ryker who answered. “We’re the neighborhood unwelcome wagon. And we’re going to make that clear to Chanos. He takes you on, he takes us all on.”

I struggled to sit. My head swam and pain stabbed through my side. I fell back onto the bed, bringing my knees up to try and alleviate the pain. “Stay the hell away from Chanos and out of my business. You’ll mess everything up. I have to keep everyone safe.”

Juvante stood. “You don’t keep everyone safe by inviting the devil to live with you. After all this time with Mama Leena, you should have learned that by now.” He stared at the others, then jerked his head toward the door. “Let’s go.”

“Get your beauty sleep, sweetheart,” Ryker said as they filed out.

They left me alone in the hotel room. Fuck! I fumbled for my cell phone and scrolled through the contacts until I reached Zane and told him what was going down.

“Shit. I’d told them I’d be over. Pricks left without me.”

I ended the call and holding my arm against my side, made the slow trek over to the mirror. My reflection wasn’t pretty. I looked as bad on the outside as I hurt on the inside. But worse than that, I had the sinking feeling that despite trying to prevent it, my world was about to blow up and take everyone I loved with it.

Chapter Twenty-Six

TANA

Six o’clock and the house was still packed with people. I’d escaped into the backyard where I swung back and forth on one of the swings on Mark’s playset. I couldn’t believe that I was leaving. Though I was excited at the idea of starting college, starting anew, it felt like something important was ending.

The back door opened and Brooklyn walked over to me. “Hey, I was supposed to meet up with Cooper tonight.”

I grinned at that. “Cooper’s good looking and he seems nice.”

“He is, but he canceled on me because he had to go help Ryan and I thought you’d want to know.”

I put my foot out to stop the swing. I hated that my heart sped up at the mention of his name. I’d gone to find him at the garage but there’d been no answer and he wouldn’t respond to my calls or my texts. I should hate him for the way he’d acted with me but I could no more hate Ryan than I could jump off a roof and fly. “Why does Ryan need help?”

“He was beaten pretty badly from getting jumped back in. Juvante and his brothers are going to confront Chanos. Ryan called Zane because he’s going after them. I don’t like the sound of all this.”

“Do you know where Ryan is?”

“Zane said he was at a hotel but—”

“Take me there. Please.”

Muttering that this was a bad idea, Brooklyn and I headed to her car. She couldn’t drive fast enough for me, but thankfully she was fast enough to reach the hotel while Zane’s car was still in the parking lot. I beat my fist on the room door and when Zane opened it, I pushed past him.

I stopped after I walked in and blinked, my heart dropping to my feet. Ryan looked like hell. Seeing him that way made me feel physically ill for the hurt he must have felt. He was on the edge of the bed with his shirt off. He looked worn out. A five o’clock shadow covered his jawline. Dark bruises littered his body. His lip was swollen and split. I’d interrupted Zane in the act of taping up Ryan’s ribs. When he saw me, his eyes blazed with welcome and a fire of want before he doused it. He stared at me with a blank expression.

“You can’t do this Ryan, please.”

“Still not my girlfriend, Tana.” He groaned when Zane pulled on the tape.

“No, but I am your friend.” I knelt to help Zane with the wrapping. My hands shook as I touched the heat from Ryan’s body. My lower lip trembled and I fought to keep from giving in to the tears. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“It won’t.”

“You don’t know that. Your brothers and you could all die if you confront Chanos,” Brooklyn said quietly as she swung her gaze from Zane to Ryan, her expression saying she clearly thought they were all idiots.

“Please don’t go.” I touched my hand to Ryan’s face. “I love you and I want you to walk away from this.”

With Zane’s help, Ryan stood. His eyes were flat and hard. “How many ways do I have to show you? What are the right words that I need to say to you so that you’ll believe me? I don’t love you, Tana. And this,” He tapped his Southtown Brothers tattoo, “is who I am. It’s where my loyalty lies. So take Brooklyn and leave. You’re in the way.”

“Ryan, please. I’m about to leave for college. I won’t see you again. I don’t want to part like this. I deserve closure.”

“You want closure? Fine. Leave for college and don’t look back because if you’re looking back for me, you’re wasting your time. Trust me when I say there’s nothing here for you.”

“I don’t believe you. I think that you love me but for some reason you won’t say it.” I put my hand on the width of his chest. I didn’t care that Brooklyn and Zane were witnesses. “We’re good together.”

“You are just a fuck. Now go.”

Humiliation burned on my face. He wasn’t pretending. Wasn’t playing. Ryan really didn’t love me. I’d thought...I pulled myself together, gathering my pride and my heartache. “I’m sorry. I thought you were someone I knew. Goodbye, Ryan.”

I made it to Brooklyn’s car and fastened the seatbelt before the sobs tore through me. I doubled over, holding my stomach. How would I survive having loved and lost Ryan? I knew that I would go on, that eventually I’d think about him without feeling as if I was being crushed from the inside out but right now, at this moment all I could do was hurt.

I went with Brooklyn to her house because I didn’t want my mom to see me upset. Though she was doing well, she was still drained and I didn’t want to add to her burden by worrying about me.

At Brooklyn’s house, she took a couple of bottles of beer from the kitchen, then we went into her room and locked the door. She popped the cap. “Fuck boys. Who needs them?”

I took a long drink. “You’re right. Who needs them?” I cried harder, then shook my head. “I hurt so much.”

She got up from the desk chair and sat cross-legged on the bed beside me. “I know that it doesn’t feel okay right now, but it will. You might not be okay today or tomorrow, or even for a while to come. But you will get over him.”

“I don’t know.” I plucked at the blanket covering her bed. “Ryan’s my first love.”

“The hurt won’t last forever.” She drained her beer and stuck the bottle beneath her bed where it fell over and rolled and clinked against glass.

I leaned over the edge of her bed at the noise. There were dozens of beer bottles under there and a few vodka ones. I gave her a questioning look.

“Sometimes I can’t sleep.” She stretched out on the bed. “But I don’t want to talk about me. This is about you. You’ll go off to college and you’ll immerse yourself in classes and studying. After a while, Ryan will be a memory that doesn’t sting anymore.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I’ve been there. Hang on.” She sat up, left the room and returned with another beer. When she sat back down, she said, “When I was fifteen, I met my Ryan. First guy I ever loved, first guy I ever had sex with.”