“My children have been flying me everywhere. I had a bucket list of places. France, Greece, Africa, and Scotland. They wanted me to get out of the house and live life again, and they figured thousands of miles away would be good for me,” she laughs.
I have to admit she’s down to earth for a senior citizen. She doesn’t appear shocked by the revelations I spouted off during the last nine hours.
“Once again, I am appalled that I unloaded all my shi—stuff on you. You must think I’m a very shallow and selfish person. I left him in Scotland you know,” I murmur as I wave the attendant over for another drink. I’m already buzzed, so one more drink isn’t going to make any difference. I’ve already blabbed every intimate detail about my life to a stranger. I’m going to have one hell of a hangover, but I don’t care.
Ruby chooses to have another also. “You know what they say, Weezie—liquid courage.” She smiles as she takes a sip. “That’s not your real name, is it? What does that dreamy man of yours call you?”
He is most likely calling me many things currently. Bitch. Whore. Deceitful, lying cunt. I wince. “I’ve always gone by that name. My parents named me after some famous author my mom liked. Horrible name, so I’ve been calling myself Weezie since I was a teenager. I guess it stuck.”
I have no fucking clue why I’m telling her this. I don’t think I even shared that fact with Keenan.
“So, Weezie, what are you going to do about your man? You certainly can’t let him sit on the fence with his prick dangling in the wind.”
I choke on my drink. God, this is me at eighty. I’m getting a sneak peek at my future.
“I may be old, dear, but I’m not dead—at least not yet. You have a decision to make. Are you open to my opinion? Because I have one.”
I nod as I take another sip. We will be landing in less than an hour. The truth is I needed a sounding board, and I’ve found one in Ruby. Maybe she has insight.
“I don’t think human beings, us, were meant to be singular creatures. I think the plan was for us to love and be loved. Franklin and I had good times as well as bad in over fifty years of marriage, but no matter what, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. We all need a reason to be, and sometimes that is another person. I think Keenan is yours. He’s your purpose.
“My dear, you have put that man through the ringer. Personally, I don’t know if staying with you the last five years makes him a hero or a putz. Do you honestly believe your mother and father would want you to be alone your entire life? I seriously doubt any parents would want the path you chose, but he stayed with you anyway. And you can deny, deny, and deny, but you love him. I feel it in my bones. You can try to ignore it, but real undying love will settle right below the skin and eventually find its way back into your heart. If you walk away, you’ll always feel emptiness… an unfinished part of life. You can try to fill that space with men and puff chores, but it will never be enough. You will always remember the way it was with Keenan.”
Okay, I seriously cringe. There is definitely something inappropriate about a great-grandmother using the term puff chore. The only thing worse would have been the word blowjob coming from her mouth. I am so burning in hell for corrupting a senior citizen.
“It doesn’t matter. He hates me. I fucking left him. I didn’t even say anything. I just ran. I’m not a good person, Ruby. I’ve never had the guts or the inclination to admit it, but I am horrible. Keenan should take me leaving as a sign and move on. I’m not good enough for him.”
She turns as she reaches in for a hug. The warmth that radiates from her reminds me of my mom. I haven’t thought about her in many years because she would be disappointed in the choices I’ve made and who I’ve become.
“After listening to you, frankly, I’m not sure if there’s anything you could do to stifle that man’s intentions. He’s too in love with you. I’ll bet he’ll forgive you if you declare your love for him. I need you to be honest. Do you love him?”
It has been weighing me down forever. Crushing and squeezing my heart. Making it hard to breathe. Giving rise to wild emotions. Thinking a man is only a sexual necessity. I don’t need one to complete my life. Telling myself I’m not good enough. Not worthy. Making myself believe I’d be better off without him.
But I’m a liar. I’ve spent five years refusing to acknowledge what I already knew. I have feelings for him. I have no idea when I realized it, but the constant denials have tormented me each day. I've wanted desperately to believe I am deserving of him. I can give him what he wants and be the woman he needs. Regardless of what happens, time itself will never erase his memory from my soul.
“I don’t think there’s enough room in my heart for how much I love him.”
I sigh. I silently admitted it to Haven, but not to myself, not really. Yet now I chose to confess my true feelings to someone I’ve just met. The constant anvil of fear has lifted from my chest. I’ve been having a battle between me and myself for so long. Unfortunately, it’s probably too late. I humiliated him in front of his friends and abandoned him. I didn’t even have the common courtesy to say good-bye. I’m an insensitive person.
I hear a quiet snort from Ruby as she finishes her drink. “I never doubted you for a moment. So you are going to marry him. Please say I can be the first to know.”
I take a deep breath. “Telling him I love him is one thing. Marrying him, oh, I don’t know. I don’t get the significance of that piece of paper.”
“It may be insignificant to you, but he deems it important. My dear, you will be withdrawing him from the female market. You will have procured the sexiest man alive as your husband. You should have a damn parade.”
A thinly veiled smile curves my lips as I let her words sink in. “Well, first, I have to get him to hear me out. I promised him an answer, and I’m pretty sure he views ditching him as me saying no.”
“Oh, I have great faith in Mr. Stone. He’s put up with too much of your shenanigans to give up so easy,” she says as she hiccups. “I know this is a lot to ask, but can you maybe let me know how it works out?”
“I can do that. But I’m hoping you’ll keep my stories and our conversation strictly confidential. I could seriously kick my own ass for being so open with you, and the tabloids would like nothing better than to pen a story about Keenan’s appendage.”
Ruby giggles. “I meant to ask if you were telling me a cock-and-bull story, so to speak, or if it’s really yea big.” She spreads out her hands wide.
My memory flashes back to a time when I asked Haven about how big Keenan’s cock was after they’d first met at a photo shoot. This elderly woman is Haven and me in the future. We would still be having chats about our men’s junk at eighty.
I nod my head in confirmation.
“You are one fortunate woman. We don’t always get the entire package. Handsome, a gentleman, great in the sack, rich, and evidently, the patience of a saint. You should be thanking your lucky stars. And us meeting on this flight—never happened. My lips are sealed. I won’t tell a soul.” Ruby says before she closes her lips tightly and pretends to lock them and mimics throwing away a key.
When we land, we give each other our phone numbers and email addresses. I have a feeling this new acquaintance will turn into a friendship that will last for years to come.
My body feels lighter as I grab my luggage and head toward the waiting car. I originally planned to go to the beach house but decide last minute to go to my condo. I’ve kept the place vacant for the last several months because I had a premonition I might need it. I thought about walking away from Keenan many times. But doing so hurt me down to the depths of my inner core. I think this is what they mean by soul mates. Being separated from him is bad enough, but never seeing him again would be the equivalent to losing my parents.