Noticing my bewildered expression she says with a shrug of her shoulder. “Oh shit, you wouldn’t know this little trick.” Ouch! “When you apply your lipstick, push your finger in and out keeping your lips tight. The extra lipstick comes off on your finger and not on your teeth. Simple and works like a dream.” Smacking her lips, she seems satisfied with her look, and not a second thought to her insult.

I am clueless where she learned this trick. I nod to agree with her, not caring since I never wear lipstick. Turning I leave the room to order pizza from our phone in the kitchen.

Liza informs me with a huff that Ace is not coming up to the apartment, she is going to meet him at the bar. I’m a bit sad I won’t get to meet this handsome stranger, yet again. With the stories I’ve heard about him, my curiosity is more than piqued. To hear Liza talk, he is this sexy beast. I wave her off and send her on her way. The minute she walks out the door, I finally relax. Liza can be intense.

Soon after she leaves, Nick shows up for movie night. We watched the Hunger Games. I’m a sucker for it. I’ve even read the books. Sprawled out watching the end of the first movie, my phone beeps with an incoming text.

“Liza.” We both say to one another.

Glancing at my phone. “What the hell?” Once again, we say it at the same time. It’s a picture…of a guy’s ass…like a guy’s ass in tight jeans.

My eyes widen when it finally registers. “Oh, my God. She’s sending me a picture of Ace’s ass.” We both blurt out laughing, it’s so Liza to do something like this. More than amused, I keep my eyes glued to the picture. I have to admit, it’s a sweet ass.

I decide to text back.

Me: Bet you will grab that ass later. BTW: NICE ASS!

Two seconds later.

Liza: It’s Ace!

No Shit!

Nick and I roll our eyes, of course, it’s Ace. Who the hell else would it be? Unless she is snapping pictures of random guys in front of her date. Hearing her talk, Ace is an all-male macho who was in the military. Another reason I want to meet him. I knew Micah went into the Air Force, would Ace know him? No idea, but you never know. I never speak of Micah, not even to Liza.

Hours later, I’m asleep in bed when I hear my phone beep. Great!

Of course, it’s Liza.

Sleepy eyed, I cover my mouth looking at the picture of a half naked guy sleeping on his stomach. The frame is of his backside, his legs, his ass and half of his muscular back. Good Lord.

Half asleep, I yawn typing a message back to her.

Me: Jump his bones again and go to sleep. Good Lord, he is HOT!

Great. I roll my eyes, knowing I will go to sleep with these images stuck in my mind. Oh well, at least one of us is having a good time.

AFTER A WEEK from hell, I’m beyond ready for the weekend. Earlier today, I endured a tense filled conversation with my mother. It boggles my mind that still to this day, she thinks I could just forget about what my she and my father forced me do and believe I'm okay. That my feelings never really mattered or counted. I need a drink after talking with her, and indeed that’s what I’ve planned for tonight. It’s Friday and even better pay-day. Right after work, I worked out, hitting the bags to release my pent up frustrations. It was easy, I imagined my mother’s face and my anger toward her escaped with every swing of my fists. An hour later, I’m showered up and ready to have fun.

Dancing has always helped me let go, losing myself in the music. Each word and deep, soulful beat, is like a puppet master pulling the strings, and swaying my body to the music.

Liza, Nick and I head out to Blaze. It’s a great place to hang out and dance. Tonight I don’t mind a crowd, in fact, I’m more than ready for the bump and grind of bodies on the dance floor.

Sweat beads my face. Slowly trickling down my chest, it pools in my bra. My slightly see-through black shirt does not leave much to the imagination. My girls are busting out, with the help of my black satin push-up bra. Tonight was all about feeling sexy…desired even. In my drunken state, that’s exactly how I feel. I sway my hips, bumping and grinding against the sweaty bodies around me. Tonight, I like being around people.

My mother had to remind me, yet again, of the many mistakes I’ve made in the past. Always hounding me, she never just lets me move on with my life. I blame my bad attitude tonight on her. I’ve shut my brain off for the night. It’s time to let loose.

Liza’s dancing next to me, fuming upset that Ace has not shown up yet. He was supposed to meet us here. Presently rubbing up behind me is Nick, taking full advantage of my playful mood. Whatever cologne he has on tonight, well, let’s just say it’s driving me crazy. Brittany Spears is singing about her being a Naughty Bitchy Sexy girl, and I love it. Her words sway my mind and body.

I let my mind and body take a mini vacation tonight, the years of not allowing myself to feel anything other than regret and sorrow have taken their toll. Tonight, my naughty side joins forces with my dire, sexual frustrations. Right now, they are roaring. Turning to face Nick straight on, I grind my hips against his. Pulling on his shirt, I slam our bodies together in one big huff. Nick’s hands wrap around my hips and his face beams, pleasantly surprised.

Nick is taller than me, like most people. He is 5’9, slender, dark hair and has bright green eyes. A total looker and to sweeten the pot, he’s wanted me for years. All these years I have denied myself going there with him…until now. I’m wondering what the hell is wrong with me. He’s the only one who knows my darkest secrets, yet he still wants me. Why is it tonight, for the very first time, I can see how perfect he is?

He’s looking like a piece of steak, and I’m a sweaty lioness in heat. Oh God, let me roar. Just tonight, allow me to be brave enough to follow through with my desires and not regret it in the morning.

Letting my inner goddess explore, Nick leans next to my ear. “El, what the hell has gotten into you?”

Desperately wanting to feel his lips on me, I lean his way. His lips touch my ear and I instantly shiver.

His lips tickle my skin as they curve into a smile. “Oh Jesus, what the hell are you doing? Don’t play with fire, El.” He says in my ear with a deep sexy moan.

Trying to act sexy, I do my best to dance with confidence, but I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. I’m not this girl, but tonight I want to be. Running my hands over his shoulders, I reach the back of his neck, and pull him closer. “Do you like what you see, Nicholas?” I never call him by his full name.

Nick firmly tightens his hands on my hips. “Oh, are you trying to turn me on, you tease?” Ummm, yes!

My wild flare earns me a slap on the shoulder from a very puzzled looking Liza. “What the hell are you doing?” She’s giving me a puzzled look as if to ask ‘have you lost your mind?’

I shrug my shoulder, whatever.

“Okay, Pip. Let’s take you to the ladies' room, so you can cool off before you do something you might regret.” Pulling on my arm, I’m being hauled off the dance floor. I glance back over my shoulder to look at Nick, who has stopped dancing, and is now running a hand through his messy hair. He looks flustered. Maybe I can do sexy!

Pushing the door open, Liza wastes no time, shouting. “What are you doing, are you crazy?”

Really? Her icy tone pisses me off, in my current state of mind. I can’t hide my anger. Rolling my eyes, I’m ready to let her have it. Why the hell can’t I have fun without being called out for it? “I don’t know, but…” throwing my hands up, I slide against the wall. “I just want to be wanted, Liza. Do you know how freaking long it’s been since anyone has held me, or hell, even wanted me?”