“Yep, Thai from the new place on the corner. By the sound of your stomach, you haven’t eaten today?” He shot me a wink, and I couldn’t argue.

“You think you’re so smart. There better be Pad Thai in that bag.”

He scoffed. “Would I be a gentleman if I didn’t bring the fair maiden her favorite food? I’m insulted that you would ask that question.”

Josh disappeared into the kitchen and returned with plates, chop sticks, and two bottles of water. I watched him unload the food, and he even piled my plate high with Pad Thai that smelled unbelievable. Gentleman Josh was one of my favorite sides of him.

“So why have you got your phone turned off?” he asked, handing me a plate and chopsticks. “What would happen if I wanted a booty call?”

“And you just lost your gentleman title.” I laughed before taking my first taste of dinner. “And the title is back, because this Pad Thai is incredible.”

“So, how come?” he pushed.

“Lachlan has been texting and trying to call me all day. By three P.M. I got sick of it, so I turned my phone off and put it in my pantie drawer.”

Josh’s jaw ticked, and his eyes flashed in anger. “What was he saying?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” I murmured, and swallowed my words by lifting the bottle of water to my lips.

“Ashy, talk to me. It’s just you and me. Don’t keep that shit bottled up. What did fucker of the century say?”

I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. Even when we were talking about the worst subject, Josh made me smile. “He said I deserved what happened. That I caused him to cheat because I didn’t give him enough of me, and then when I didn’t respond he started spitting all this hate at me. Really immature shit, like my boobs are too small, my thighs are too big, and that I am a crap lay. You know, all the things girls love to hear,” I said sarcastically.

“I, for one, can tell you that your boobs are fucking amazing, your legs are phenomenal, and you are the best lay I’ve had. And you know I don’t joke around when it comes to sex. Number one spot, Ashy.” His voice was casual, but his stare was penetrating, and it hit me right in the heart.

“I just want this whole thing done. How can I possibly move on when he won’t leave me alone? He was the one that stuck his cock in another chick, so why is he doing this? It was his choice.”

“You have moved on, Ashy. Look how much you have changed since he fucked up. You have your blog, your apartment looks incredible, and you’ve had some seriously amazing sex with incredible orgasms.” He shot me a wink, and the tension I felt over talking about Lachlan quickly disappeared.

“Yeah, my vibrator has been amazing lately. Battery-operated sex is the best kind. Best orgasms I’ve ever had.”

“I have to compete with book boyfriends and vibrators, Christ,” he said with a groan. “Tonight we eat Pad Thai, watch some ridiculous reality show, and then climb into bed where I’ll be falling asleep inside of you. You’ll be throwing out your vibrator once I’m done.”

“Promises, promises,” I whispered with a tease in my voice, even though the thought sent heat through me. “You better back it up, Crawford.”

“I am a man of my word, Hart.”

After gorging myself with Pad Thai and putting on my comfiest sweats, I sat on the couch, my head resting on his chest, and his arm around my shoulders. The elephant in the room was getting bigger by the minute. We both knew there was a conversation we needed to finish, but neither one initiated it. I didn’t know why I was holding back. While in his office I was so determined to find out everything, but now it was almost like I was afraid of what I might hear. Dinner had been perfect, cuddling on the couch was exactly what I needed, and I was getting lost in a world of fantasy.

This kind of life is what I wanted.

Uncomplicated, exciting, and spontaneous.

I shifted beside him, and looked up to find him engrossed in the travel show we had been watching. He huffed when he realized it was about London, but he soon got over it and made some inappropriate comment about the royal family, and then proceeded to start talking in the worst British accent I’d ever heard.

He looked down at me and smiled. “Hey.”

And just like that, with the sweetest of smiles and a simple word from him, the butterflies appeared. “I like this,” I whispered.

“Me too.” After tucking my hair behind my ear, he leaned down and brushed my lips so softly with his own, in the most sensual of ways.

I liked this a lot.

“Why didn’t we have this year’s ago? I’ve been trying to work out how I’m so different now than I was five years ago. You took my virginity, Josh, so if you had shown me any interest I would have been yours. I would have given you my heart without question.”

He shifted beside me so we were face to face, which allowed me to witness the emotion that my question caused to flash over his face. It was a look of complete shock and confusion. “You think this is new to me?”

“You had five years, Josh. You walked away. You made me feel like a one-night stand, and then suddenly I was friend-zoned. So tell me why. Please let me understand.”

There was no hesitation in my voice. I wanted the truth because I needed to understand in order to move forward with whatever was happening between us. There was so much holding me back from taking the next step . . . so many unanswered questions. I knew Josh wanted more. He didn’t hold back in the way he would possessively hold me, the claim of ownership I felt in his kiss, or his need to make sure I was okay before everything else.

“From the first moment I saw you in the library, you grabbed a tight hold of my attention, and you’ve never lost it.” The sincerity in his voice told me that he was getting ready to admit everything to me, and my nerves fluttered to life.

“That night at Rosie’s, I had every intention of approaching you, but you completely fucked with my head and made the first move. There’s no doubt in my mind that it was then that I knew you’d forever intrigue me. Having you in my bed, and being given the greatest gift I’d ever received, changed me. Without a doubt, you took my heart that night, and yes that confused me. When I woke up to an empty bed, I made the decision that I was going to find you, then ask you to have breakfast with me and spend the day together. One night with a beautiful blond changed everything, and I was ready to work my ass off to make you mine.

“But then I walked out of the bedroom and found Ky laughing and looking completely carefree, like the world had lifted from his shoulders. I’d been watching him destroy himself for months, and every morning I would wake up with the fear that his guilt over everything that happened with Eden had become too much and I would lose him forever. The thought that my brother, the one person I looked up to and wanted to be, had nothing to live for, terrified me.

“It was you, Ash. You were the first person to make him act like himself again. You brought him back to mom, dad, and me. How could I interfere with that? Ky needed you, so I knew that I had to sacrifice what I wanted in order to keep my brother alive. It was as severe as that. He was on a one-way path that he couldn’t get off of, and I truly believe that if it wasn’t for you, he would no longer be here.

“It was my biggest sacrifice, Ashlyn, but I didn’t know what else to do. Having you in my life was and will always be my number one priority. I wanted you to be mine. You climbed so far inside of me that night, but I had to settle with having you in my life as my sexy, sassy friend. I had to watch you start a relationship, knowing that maybe my decision had been the biggest mistake of my life. Then I had to watch you get your heart broken, and I had to live with the fact that I could have stopped that hurt from happening to you. Ashlyn, I had no idea what I could do. I had my brother destroying and slowly killing himself, and I had the girl I wanted a life with within reach.”