“Is that what you think?” I asked, my voice deep and more intimidating than I wanted. “That you are just a friend who I happen to be fucking?”

“We have had sex once, Josh,” she said in a breathy voice.

“Fine, if you want to get into specifics, I’ll rephrase my question. Are you just a friend who I have had sex with once, but who I have kissed and finger fucked more than once? You think I look at you as a friend with benefits?”

Her eyes turned intense and her jaw tightened. “That’s all I can be.”

“That’s bullshit. Have I not touched you, kissed you, fucked you? Have I not given you a clear sign that you are my girl? I’d give you the world, Ashy. I would give you my final breath if it meant I didn’t have to live a moment without you. Sorry if that freaks you out, but that’s the truth. Time means nothing when it comes to how I feel about you, because I’ve felt like this for a long fucking time. You aren’t a casual fling to me, and you aren’t a friend with benefits. Get the fucked up thought of being a notch on my belt out of your head too.”

“It’s not bullshit, Josh,” she whispered. “Hearing you say all of that is like living a dream. Do you know how long I’ve wanted to hear that? How many years I wished for those words to spill from you? But I’ve changed, and I feel like in some fucked up way that I’m damaged goods. All I can give is casual. Five years ago, we had a chance, but it felt like all you wanted was a one-night stand. I lived for a happily-ever-after, and you chose a path of random girls and no commitment.”

My jaw clenched at the words she was spitting. For the past five years, this was what she’d been thinking? That she was a one-night stand, and that was all I wanted? That was so far from the truth. “You have absolutely no clue what happened five years ago. The fact that you even considered yourself a one-night stand pisses me off.”

She crossed the office and stood before me. “I’m standing right here, Josh. Tell me. Make me believe it. You’ve been so incredible to me, and no one has ever treated me like you have recently. Fuck, you’ve made me believe that I am worthy of finding love one day. You make every bad thing disappear with a kiss, a look, or a simple touch. You, Josh. No one else. But every single time I feel myself start to fall, I have to catch myself. I can’t trust that my heart won’t get broken again, because I can’t shift the thought that I was just some random girl to you.”

I hooked my finger into the hoop of her jeans and pulled her hard against my body. Her hands went flush against my chest, and she looked up at me with shock and intrigue. My lips collided with hers in a hard kiss. There was no softness, there was no romance, and there was no thinking. All I wanted was to show her the strength I had behind everything I felt for her. I wanted to bruise her lips so she’d remember this moment for days to come. Her gasp rang through my body as she breathed in everything I was giving her.

Broken breathing filled my office as I pulled away, leaving my mouth lightly brushing against hers, while my lips were caressed by her desperate need for air. “You have never been a random girl to me. You, Ashlyn, are everything. Do not let that thought get inside your head, because I’ll make it my mission to destroy it.”

“Tell me. I need to know,” she whispered.

Suddenly, the air around us shifted, and Ashlyn stepped away as the door opened. She wiped her lips and removed the smudged color just as Ky and Eden stepped into my office.

Perfect fucking timing.

“Just the two people we wanted to see,” Ky said with a wide smile gracing his face.

“Have you found out anything, Ash?” Eden asked, shooting me a cheeky wink. Jesus, she wasn’t going to let up.

“Not yet. Still working on finding out what I want to know,” she replied, with more meaning behind her words then Eden would ever know.

Ky grabbed Eden’s hand, and suddenly the loved-up couple appeared. Eden looked up at him with happiness radiating off of her, and Ky’s smile somehow got bigger. I could be kissing Ashlyn instead of witnessing this. Fucking hell.

“We have decided on a joint bachelor and bachelorette party. The west coast crew are coming over for Red Velvet New York’s birthday celebration, so we are going to have it then and combine them.”

What the actual fuck?

There was no way my only brother would be sharing his bachelor party. I’d been planning an epic celebration since he announced his engagement. It would seem that Ky had suddenly lost his balls.

“So, Savannah and Tanzi will be here?” Ashlyn asked excitedly.

“Yep, Tate and Jack are coming over too.”

Tate Connors was the owner of Red Velvet, and Savannah’s husband. I met him when I first met his twin, Tanzi Connors, who worked for Beautify Magazine in Los Angeles. Jack had been Tanzi’s fiancé for as long as I could remember. I spent plenty of nights at Red Velvet L.A. Ashlyn, Ky, and more recently, Eden, had become good friends with them over the years, and whenever any of us were in each other’s cities we would catch up.

“This calls for a shopping adventure. New dresses, shoes, lingerie, the whole shebang,” Ashlyn said excitedly.

All I focused on was lingerie. Christ, she had me by the balls.

“Let’s go grab coffee so we can make plans,” Eden said. “I’ll go and grab my things from Ky’s office and meet you downstairs.”

Ky and Eden left, and I closed the door behind them. Ashlyn grabbed her purse and put it over her shoulder, then pulled her sunglasses out and rested them on her head.

“I’m coming over tonight, and I’ll tell you everything you want to know,” I said.

I leaned in to kiss her, but she turned her head suddenly and my lips landed on her cheek. It was a kick to the gut, but it was clear that her defenses were shooting up at a fast fucking rate.

“I’ll see you tonight,” she said softly, and dropped her gaze from mine. The urge to grab her, drag her back into my office, and sort this out right now was almost too hard to fight, but that would make her flee even faster.

In a thick silence, I watched her move slowly to the door. Her hand fell to the handle, and everything seemed to come to a screeching halt as she paused. Stay, please stay. When I looked over her shoulder, her eyes met mine, and I waited with baited breath.

“Right now, I feel like I’m falling,” she whispered.

There was absolutely no hesitation in my response. “Let me catch you, Ashy.”

HOW MANY TIMES DID I have to tell him?

I paced my apartment, fuming at the deluge of messages I’d received from Lachlan throughout the day. I refused to acknowledge them, and the more I ignored him, the more he persisted. But I refused to give in. He was pissing me off now. I wasn’t just frustrated, I was literally ready to find him and put him on a plane myself. Around three P.M., I finally turned my phone off and hid it deep inside my top drawer.

I sat on the couch, curled up with my kindle, and getting lost in perfect fantasy. My newest book boyfriend would distract me from my ridiculous ex-boyfriend. Once again, fictional presented itself as the better option. I was so engrossed in my book that I didn’t hear the front door open until I heard Josh speak.

“Why aren’t you answering your phone?”

Shit! I had gotten so lost in ignoring Lachlan that I didn’t even think of anyone else who might be trying to get in contact with me. Josh was standing just inside the front door, with two bags hanging from each hand. The smell of Thai food filled the air, and my stomach growled in happiness.

“You bought dinner?” I asked softly, stating the obvious.