“It must have been more than nothing for you to break David’s nose and crack his skull open.”
I started shaking violently. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Understand what Michael?” Brad asked and he grabbed my arm. “I wouldn’t understand that you’re in
love with David?”
I grasped for air, it felt like he’d punched me in the stomach.
“You don’t have to pretend it’s not true,” Brad said.
“Is it that obvious?” I asked quietly. He nodded.
“All the fighting and the making up between the two of you. He’s obviously crazy about you otherwise
he wouldn’t take all your bullshit.”
“How long have you known?” I asked him.
“I thought something weird was going on between the two of you, the moment you came back from Paris
and I saw him give you that hug at your parent’s place. Besides you’re constantly looking at him like you
want to fuck him. But I knew for sure after he’d cut of his hair to get back at you.”
“Fuck,” I sighed. My hands were trembling and I must have looked white as a sheet. “Does Christine
know?”
“Yeah she does actually. I was telling her how weird I thought you both were acting and at first she
thought nothing of it. But after you were so fucking jealous of David’s latest boyfriends it was pretty
obvious to her too.” He paused and patted my arm. “She doesn’t mind Michael and I don’t either. If
anything, we feel sorry for the both of you. It’s not your fault that you grew up together. We both know that
you’ve been miserable for a very long time. Christine just wants you to be happy, she loves you both.”
“I’ve really fucked things up big time with David. He wanted me to finally choose him and come out
about how we feel, but I disappointed him again.”
“So have you actually been sleeping with him? Not that it’s any of my business of course…”
“Nothing more serious than a blow-job when we were both living in New York, although I wished
otherwise...”
“So why don’t you go past his house and tell him that?”
“I’m not sure if he still wants me,” I said.
“There’s only one way to find out,” Brad replied.
33. I love you
I spend the whole week thinking about David. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t focus on my
job. Finally on Saturday morning I got up early and went to his apartment.
It was a bright, sunny morning, although I felt dark on the inside. I was so afraid that David was going
to reject me that my hand was shaking as I rang his doorbell.
At first I didn’t hear anything, those seconds seemed to last forever. Finally after more than a minute I
heard him stumbling in the hallway and the jingling of his keys as he was trying to find the one for the
front door.
He opened the door and almost shut it in my face again when he saw me. I pushed against his door so he
couldn’t close it. “What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked hoarsely. He looked like he’d just gotten
out of bed. His hair was messy and he hadn’t shaved yet. The bruising on his face was still visible but it
had faded and his nose looked pretty normal too. He was only wearing his boxer shorts and an old faded
T-shirt.
“Please let me in David, we need to talk,” I said.
“We needed to talk a long time ago,” he answered but opened the door reluctantly. I stepped in. “Did I
wake you?”
“It’s 8:30 AM on a Saturday Michael, of course you woke me.” He looked annoyed. “What are you
doing here? I told you I didn’t want to see you for a while.”
“I wanted to make sure you were alright.”
“I’m fine, so you can go now. Just tell mom and dad that I‘m fine and leave me the hell alone.”
“He’s really sorry you know,” I said.
“I don’t give a fuck about that,” David muttered and crossed his arms. “The both of you just went too
far this time. I’m not going to let the both of you treat me like shit forever.”
“I’m so sorry. I feel like the worst guy in the world for hitting you like that,” I said timidly. David’s
face looked stern.
“I don’t care about the nose. You didn’t mean to hurt me. What hurt was that you and dad were talking
about me behind my back again, like I’m nothing.”
“You’re not nothing to me, you know that. You’re everything.” My throat felt raw as I forced out the
next words: “I’ll even tell dad that you are everything to me.”
“You don’t mean that,” he said quietly.
“I do and I’ll prove it to you. This time I’m choosing you,” I said with a quiver in my voice. He was
quiet for a few seconds. It felt like purgatory. Then he said: “Fuck just come here you asshole, I’ve
missed you so much.” I just couldn’t believe that I got off the hook so easily and was dumbstruck until he
hugged me hard.
The muscles in his arms were tense as he wrapped them around my back. I looked at him and saw the
hardness in his face melt away. I kissed him hard, our teeth clashed together before I devoured his mouth.
We clung to one another as if our life depended on it. My lips felt raw, his tongue was at the back of my
throat and still I wanted to be closer to him. I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him in even more.
His hands worked at the buttons of my shirt and mine were underneath his T-shirt. He broke the kiss to
take his T-shirt off, as I undid my shirt. He was just wearing his boxer shorts, his dick clearly outlined,
his chest heaving. I kicked off my shoes, took off my socks and fumbled to open my belt. When we were
both only wearing shorts, he pushed me backwards on his couch. His hot mouth traced the line of my
throat, my chest, and my stomach. It had been such a long time since I’d felt his naked skin on mine like
this. All the sensation were overwhelming, the feel of his smooth chest, the hair on his legs rubbing
against mine, the muscles in his arms and back, tense like ropes. His dick was pressing against my own
while he kissed me hungrily. He started pulling my boxer shorts down. His hand brushed past my dick,
making my nerve endings scream.
“Let’s go to your room. I want to fuck you in your bed,” I told him between kisses.
We both got up and rushed to his bedroom, which was even messier than the last time I’d been here. He
stripped down his shorts and I admired his body for a moment before I pulled him on to the bed. He
dragged down my shorts as well so that we were finally completely naked. I started kissing him again,
trying to be gentle and make it last, tasting his mouth, but soon enough we were back to being rough. His
hands were kneading my ass and he hitched up his knees so that I was snug between them.
“Do you have some lube?” I asked him hoarsely.
“There some Vaseline in the night stand,” he said with a wicked smile and he reached between our
bodies and started pumping my dick. I hadn’t gotten laid since I came back from Paris and I had to bite my
tongue not to come right away.
The whole world seemed to stop when I started fucking him, there was nothing but him and me and the
way our bodies moved together in a steady rhythm. I tried to remember everything about that first time, the
heaving of his chest, the way he moaned as I pushed in to him, the way he clutched my arms. I wanted to
make it last for hours but it was impossible to hold back. I pushed in to him frantically while sweat was
pouring down my forehead. He had his eyes closed and his head pushed back as he was ready to come.
When I drove him over the edge I felt his body spasm against mine and his nails dug in to my skin hard
enough to leave marks. All his muscles tensed and his eyes fluttered open, looking at me dark grey and
clouded. I came a second later, straining on top of him. The tension of the last few weeks just ebbed away