[I wonder at myself — wonder if many men in this metropolis have had such out of the way letches — and adventures.]

[Then again came the chance of a youthful virginity, and a singular illustration of the effect of nervousness upon me, mentally and physically. So identical were the nervous phenomena, so similar all circumstances attending that defloration to what took place about six months ago, that the narrative seems even to me, like a reproduction of an old event clothed in new language. But it is not so. As each of the two incidents occurred, the same or the next day it was written down. I do not dwell on my nervous sufferings, but they were pain-fully great, I was a psychological study to myself for some time after the event.

[All circumstances attending the deflorating this lass are evidence that most poor girls are fucked before they are sixteen. It is immaterial who does it, but they will be fucked. — She is quite as willing to have it done, as he to do it, and probably it is the female who incites the male (unwittingly perhaps) following simply the law of nature — quite as much as the male incites the female to the pleasure. What rot then this talk about male seduction, when it is nature which seduces both. Equally absurd also the sentimental bosh about young virgins being bought and sold. The results to the girl are the same whether she is fucked for money or love

— or if the term be liked better — for lust. A prick up her she will have before she's sixteen. She will have her sexual pleasure, paid or unpaid for it. The poor alone are philosophical in amatory matters.]

H. was impecunious, and having made money by the lass whose virginity I took last spring, I shall always think put this temptation in my way for further profit.

— I found there one day a little servant about fourteen years old, fairly pretty, sprightly and pleasing, and thought I should like to investigate her privates as soon as I set eyes on her. — H. said the lass was daughter of a sea coast man, and had two sisters gay, had been stopping with one in London who had let her see men fuck her. “She won't be long before she has it.” She had found out that this girl frigged herself. — I suppose all girls of fourteen do — and wanted to be fucked, knew all about it, had said so. — H. and she had al-ready looked at each other's cunts — women like doing that — and she had frigged the girl who was “virgo intacta” — warranted. “If you don't have her some one will soon, her sister won't let her stop here she'll make money out of her, and if not the girl will let some man fuck her.” — “I'll have her” said I, and began courting the lass.

Soon after, H said she'd have nothing to do with it, but still she would not hinder me. I reminded her of what she'd told me. — She replied, that certainly the girl would have a man soon somehow, or somewhere, for she was so lewed and curious, that a little per-suasion would get her. — H's change of front, her object in holding back now, was not very clear to me, but felt sure she'd like to see me fuck the lass for baudy pleasure if for nothing else. Telling her so, she laughed and said she should.

That day I kissed the slut, gave her a trifling present, and felt up to her navel. She let me readily, even seemed complimented by my attention. — H. was present. — “There's no hair on your dear little cunt.” “Not yet,” she replied — I had then one of those long exciting preliminary, baudy, inductive conversations, — so very delicious with an unpoked girl, and equally delicious to her. — “You know what fucking is, don't you my darling?” — “No,” said she hanging her head and looking confused — “What a lie,” said H. — “You've seen gentlemen doing it to your sister.” — “Oh” said the lass. At length she confessed it. Then I felt freely all about her hidden charms, my hands roved up and down, I insinuated a finger between her thighs closed tightly, but it rubbed between the lips of the grove, and brought away the female aroma. Ah me how nice is the smell of cunt, which some fools say isn't nice. — She was sitting on my knee, I wanted to see her naked but that she refused, I pulled up her clothes, she pushed them down, whining. H. winked at me. “Your cunt smells so nice,” said I. — “You're a nasty man” she replied, coloring up and looking at H.

“Let me another day, dear.” Then as customary, I gave money to buy shoes and stockings. Having felt her till my cock was restive, I began caressing H*** “Come and look at your mistress' cunt.” — H. favored me, for our conversation had made her lewed, she turned on to the bed and about, and let me look at her cunt. Then the girl after a little persuasion felt H's cunt. — We had wine, I gamahuched H., the girl got tight with the drink and also gamahuched her, then I again made H. spend and again with my lingual titillation until she was well-nigh exhausted with spending, and then fucked her twice at the side of the bed, letting the girl see my prick go in and out, and I taught her to play with my balls. — Never had a lass seen so much I think in about three hours. We had a deliciously baudy treat, and at the end half screwed, laughingly she admitted that she too should like to be fucked. Odd if she hadn't, for her modesty had gone to the winds, had been going before she came to H. and our talk and acts would have made the coldest virgin randy, and her cunt hot and reeking with lubricious juices. — This girl in whose eyes was lust, who kissed me again and again when I left — tho still resisting a look at her privates — was dying to let me, tho I left without doing it.

Next visit, H. told me that since my absence, she had been gamahuched by the lass who loved doing it, and she'd again frigged the lass who was longing to be fucked. — “Give her a sovereign, and she will let you.” — So I began kissing and coaxing her, but she had such a bad cold in her head and wanted her pocket handkerchief so often, that she was unpleasant to me, so much so that desire for her was chilled, I never could bear a snotty-nosed female.

I tried to evoke my lust by a frig and other devices uselessly. I thought of my impotence with the former little lass and fear came over me of similar trouble. I fancied my prick shrunk, felt it and whispered to H. “I shall not be able to fuck her I'm sure.” — “Nonsense, don't think so — can't you fuck me three times nearly every time you come to see me? — Why can't you fuck her then? — Nonsense — don't think about it” — was H.'s reply. But it was so — the result of the girl's bad cold in the first place, and then a fearful, ridiculous nervousness, thro thinking about my former frigidity.

Next visit she had neat stockings and shoes on — my gift. — “Let's look at your little cunt, darling.” — H. had prepared her for the request, and the girl got slowly on to the bed. “Pull up your clothes,” said I, liking to see her do that. — With hesitation slowly up she pulled them, — “Higher darling” but she stopped, and I pulled her chemise up above her navel. I was enraptured with breaking down her modesty, with making a supposed virgin expose herself so much. Then I looked long and lasciviously. She was a nice little creature, not plump but not bony, nor did I feel any prominences as I ran my hand over her from her nascent bubbies to her thighs. Then dropping on my knees by the bedside, I opened wide her thighs and saw the delicate pink grove. All was well washed and sweet — H. took care of that.

I gloated on the pretty cunt. Not a hair discolored the creamy colored lips, nor interfered with the view of the little flaps and clitoris which were just showing. There was the hymen closed all but a little hole, a perforation into which I cautiously inserted my little finger, at which she winced. All was so pink, so rosy, so delicate, that restraining myself no longer and removing my finger, I put my tongue to it; throwing her thighs over my arms and placing my hands under her little bum, I licked her cunt furiously. For so long a time I had licked no cunt excepting those of which the thatch tickled my nose — the well-haired cunt of H.'s mostly — that this was a delicious novelty and the rosy-tinted, sweet virgin quim licking gave me voluptuous delight — H. stood by with her soft baudy eyes enjoying the sight. I licked till my tongue ached, the lass enjoying it, showing no life excepting an occasional twitch of her thighs, or an involuntary slight heave of her little backside — I can't say if she spent or not. — She told H. that she did. Then I left off and gamahuched H. till she was wild with de-light, and sobbed out when spending — as she does also when she's fucking. — “Fuck — oho — aha — ahar — spunk.” — She and I always indulge thus and stimulate our passion. She pushed me away just as her salt spendings reached my tongue, she always either clutches or pushes my head furiously when her spend is on.