I watched her carefully, voluptuously curious, but not too much excited — for fucking alas, was not for me any more that night. I rubbed gently with my thumb a long time in unbroken silence. Then her breath shortened, her belly heaved, her thighs twitched and still she lay with eyes closed. “Quicker,” said she, and laying hold of my thumb she placed it in a little lower down — quicker and harder I rubbed till her thighs and belly became agitated, that indescribable jogging, heaving, wriggling came on with sighing and murmuring soft sounds of pleasure. “Her — er. — He

— her” and clutching my prick, she subsided into quietness, and half sleep. Thus we lay without speaking some minutes, I looking, watching her tranquility, pleased at having given her a spend, voluptuous fatigue of body on me — mind tranquilly voluptuous. — “Aha

— a — a — a — a” — said she at last, with a prolonged sigh and rising. — “You haven't spent,” said I. — “Yes yes — feel me — look.” — Her cunt was running over with her juices it was wet outside as well as up — I saw, felt it, and was delighted. — “I never frigged a woman before with my thumb and lying in that attitude” I remarked. — She laughed. — “I've never been frigged so before — I did want it.” — “Why?” “Don't know, seeing his prick in your mouth I think — I never saw a man do that to another. — Ah! polisson — it's not nice — a woman and a man may do anything to-gether — but two men — no 'tis villainous. — Ah! — I like it not.” — “But it made you hot cunted.” — “C'est vrai — mais,” — and she shrugged her shoulders — other gay women have said the same.

There can be no indecency, or impropriety in women or men amusing themselves any way they like in private — objections arise from prejudice and custom. — Yet I was glad to get Eugene out of the room. It annoys me to think that I had him, as I write this — which is absurd. — What is the use of my philosophy if it leaves me thus minded.

A French lady of whom I shall tell nothing more — a lady lewed enough but not gay — told me that she thought the loveliest mouthful any woman could have, was a nice soft prick. That no woman and man ever lived together a year and loved each other, without the man putting his prick into her mouth, or that she could love him without sucking it — she didn't say let him spend in it. This has been told me by more than one French “dame galante,” when I have been long intimate with them. The lady also said that no woman had enjoyed the sublimity of voluptuousness, till she'd been fucked by one man whilst she sucked and palated another's pego.

Mademoiselle A**l*e also — not quite gay — told me that the most voluptuous evening she ever passed was when the man who kept her brought home three male friends with him. All five stripped naked, she laid on the bed edge a man lying on each side of her and one kneeling over her head. Then her “mari,” standing and tilting up her thighs, fucked her, whilst another's prick filled her mouth, and she f rigged the other two. Four pricks had she in keeping at once, one in her cunt — one in her mouth — and one in each hand. — Semiramis or Messalina could not well have had a much greater treat.

Every man fucked her that night, and all felt each other's tools — they were friends, and Frenchmen. All of them got drunk. — If true, I should like to have been one of the party. But was it true? I am quite pre-pared to believe that it was.

She said that she should never forget it, and would pay herself to get such a treat again. Her “mari” (who kept her) brought the men home with him from a club. Their principal regret was that there was not another woman. Her “marl” suggested that he should fetch another, but she wouldn't have it. She said — “Mon ami, respectez moi — je ne suis pas putain.” I fucked that lady several times, she had a fancy for me. — [Ultimately she went to a French colony with a general officer. — She may be living now.]

Then I grew tired of the erotic spectacles, and of taking pleasure in lubricated channels, so resolved to go no more to them. — Many a day elapsed before I did.

Erotically maddening as the sights were, they were one and all with courtezans, with whom satisfying love and lust is a trade. — In my whole experience there I never saw a woman who was not a baudy Cyprian, and contrasting what I saw there with the snug house at **** St. where, years ago, Sarah F**z*r and I had our evenings and where at every other visit I saw love making with women not gay, but with servants and others of better class — I preferred the sights there to those at the lapunar.

A month later I was some hundreds of miles further south, through December and January, and all but chaste. One night I went to a circus, an hour after-wards met a woman in the streets, went home with her, and found her to be one of the circus riders, and a Spaniard. In a slovenly bedroom, in a little cot slept a child a year old. — A “love child,” she said. — Doubting her and not recognizing her, she described the horse she rode. — The next night I saw her riding it. — All she got a night for her equestrian skill, she said, was five francs. — Her cunt I fancy paid her better. — I stripped her, she was shortish, plump, had an exquisite shape, and flesh solid as ivory, her face was handsome and pure Spanish. — What astonished me, was to find so much hair on motte, cunt and buttocks; four inches all round her anus was quite black with crisp, shortish hair which was not handsome to me but she seemed proud of it. — Tastes differ. — I fucked her and gave ten francs, for which I might have her again, she asked me to — I repeated this another night when I had seen her riding a white horse. — My God! and all that skill for five francs. — I wondered as she whirled round on the horse, now throwing this leg up, now that — if many there knew of her hirsute buttocks besides myself. — It pleased me to think about her cunt whilst she was riding.

[This reminds me, that perhaps the hairiest women whom I have had were Spanish. I've had them at two or three French border towns, in Paris, and several in Spain, and the cuntal regions of all were unusually hairy.]

Chapter VIII

My heroic resolution. • The whore and the railway porter. • Against a viaduct. • Michael's prick and Michael using it. • On the early fucking of poor girls. • Another juvenile virgin. • Her antecedents and harloting sisters. • Her salacity and taste for minetting. • Nervous impotency again. • Virility restored. • Virginity ruptured. • Female pleasures at their first fucking. • On the way virginities are lost and won.

It seems strange to myself, that tho I stopped in the City of **** on my return from the south, I kept away from the lapunar with the peephole — for once I kept to my resolve. — But I am tired, I suppose, of the spectacles which have so much delighted me. — Was this fatigue of travel, satiety — or age?

On my return I saw H, who was delighted, and the first afternoon spent with her in using my tongue, fingers and prick, left her tranquil enough for twenty-four hours at least. — Donkey prick she was getting very weary of, the other lover was still ill, her protector more loving than ever. — “Oh! I'm so glad to see you again and have some one to tell things to.” — Tell she did, and I think all about her fuckings, cooking, Donkey prick's meanness, young Harry's lust, &s. — Then for the first time I think she wanted to borrow a trifle which she got as a gift instead of a loan — for she was delightful, with beauty, cleanliness, fine taste, wit and lasciviousness combined. [How rare that combination.]

Towards the end of February, on a dirty but warmish night for that month, I visited an old relative in the suburbs, and went there by a loop line of railway which had not been opened long. I met there with a little ad-venture, being I suppose always on the look out and un-able to resist a grope of a warm cunt, whenever I got the opportunity of groping comfortably.