"Holy shit," I whispered.

"Yeah?" Annie sounded downright eager.

I didn't know what else to say, so I said the only thing that sprung to mind. "I have to go."

Chapter Forty-One

Jax

There was a certain point in the night when the music seemed to flow through me. It had happened at every show we'd played on this month-long mini-tour and it was happening again tonight.

We were a cohesive unit now. I hadn't touched the bottle since the night with Lily. I had been focused and determined, even deigning to take direction in spite of it ruining my cocky reputation. But it was helping. Even Banks seemed to be enjoying himself at his bank of keyboards.

I moved my head and Casper stepped forward, launching seamlessly into the guitar solo as the lights angled out into the crowd, lighting up the sea of rapt faces staring back at us. I lifted my fingers and Talon's bass drum kicked in and then suddenly we all crashed together into the bridge

It was electric. It was wild. It was everything I had ever wanted it to be.

"Said she was my sister/Caught up in a twister …" Casper's last note blended seamlessly into mine. I held it as long as I could, screaming out the longing in the lyrics I had written during those fevered three days. They barely seemed like my words anymore. They were a snapshot in time, a moment with Lily I had lost forever.

"One-two-three-four!" I roared into the mic, bringing us straight into the last song before the encore. "Hey there, stubborn little girl/Wanna show you all the world/But first, you gotta open up your door …" The song hadn't even dropped twenty-four hours ago, but somehow, these people already knew all of the words to “Slam.” They were saying it was bound to be an even bigger hit than “Cocky.”

"Slam the door/Go on and give me more/Slam the door/On me."

"Thank you, and good night!" We made our bows and bounded off the stage to thunderous applause. I ran backstage and grabbed the towel my assistant had at the ready. The roar of the crowd shook the whole stadium, reaching up to the rafters. "Jax, Jax, Jax!"

I nodded at the guys. "Encore's 'Cocky,' of course. Give 'em what they came for. But let's do it the new way we rehearsed. Everyone good?"

Four heads nodded in unison. "Sorry, Banksy," I teased. "I know how much you hate that song."

"It's grown on me," the keyboardist sighed.

If I wasn't already as high as a kite with the adrenaline of the show, I would have crowed out loud over that admission. Instead I just nodded. "Thanks, man."

"No problem." he grumbled.

Well, shit. It took long enough but Banks had finally succumbed to my charms.

They all do, eventually.

Except one. The one that mattered most of all.

"Okay," I said, rubbing my hands together. "Let's get out there before they tear this whole place down."

"Yo, Jax?" Diggs called from the backstage entrance. "Can I grab a word?

"Kinda shitty timing, dude." I would never admit how much I liked having my mother's road team working for me now. They were old farts, but they knew their shit backwards and forwards. Only problem was when they got a bit too familiar. Like right now. "Can it wait?"

I saw a brown, silky head moving behind him. My body was reacting even before I could process it into speech. "Not really no." Diggs smiled ruefully. "She's never been good at that."

"Jax!" Liliana called from behind him. "Jax, please!"

I didn't hesitate. I nodded and Bash lifted his arm, sending Liliana careening into my arms. She was already babbling, her breath hitching, barely understandable over the roar of the impatient crowd. "I finally realized… My dad doesn't care, Annie doesn't care, but none of that matters, because I don't care either." She pulled my face down to her level, pressing our foreheads together. I closed my eyes in sheer bliss at having her skin against mine once again. "Do you hear me, Jax? I don't give a fuck about society or propriety. I love you, and that's the only thing that matters."

Chapter Forty-Two

Liliana

It pays to have friends. The right people in the right places …

At first, security was ready to throw me out. One more girl in a line of screaming girls, I completely understood. My demands that they call Jax, call Annie, call Casper, any of the guys in the band, they all fell on deaf ears.

Until Greg Fingers walked by.

"Bit?" He sounded stoned as usual, blinking at me slowly, like a turtle.

"Greg! Tell them to let me backstage! I need to talk to Jax!"

"What the heck are you doing over there, Bit?" Greg was still blinking and I bit my lip in frustration. "Ain't you supposed to be here with us?"

"Yes!" I exploded. "Tell them to let me backstage!"

Greg nodded in slow motion, then tapped the security guard's shoulder and gestured toward me. The guard shook his head and crossed his arms firmly over his chest and I nearly exploded inside. I was ready to call the police, the National Guard. This was clearly a matter of life and death.

I was actually reaching for my cell phone, ready to call I-don’t-know-who to help me, when the guard finally gestured curtly and I felt myself lifted over the crowd barrier. "Thank you!" I screamed, kissing Greg on the cheek, then turning and planting an impetuous one on the guard's cheek, as well.

But once I was backstage, I froze. I was adrift in a sea of strangers that ignored me completely. Jax was still on stage. I had no way of getting to him without help.

"Diggs!" I screamed when I saw his familiar, wonderful face.

"Lily?" He turned and stared at me like I had appeared out of thin air. Which I guess I had.

"Please, Diggs. I need to talk to Jax."

His mouth twitched. "Finally figured it out, huh?"

"Goddammit, did everyone know?"

Diggs looked thoughtful. "Pretty sure Greg Fingers is still piecing everything together, but he'll get there."

I rocked onto my toes. "I'll be mortified later. Right now, I need to talk to him. Can you help me?"

Diggs' eyes crinkled. "Yeah, Lil. I think I can."

He let me right to the end of the hall. "Can't let you past here, not just yet."

I grimaced and clenched my fists. In the adrenaline of getting here, I hadn't considered ever getting this far. Once I saw Jax, what in the world would I say?

I didn't have long to think. He came striding off stage, a towel slung around his bare, glistening torso. His eye makeup had pooled under his eyes, making the blue otherworldly.

He nodded in the direction of his assistant, laughed at something his guitarist said, then gave some directions for the encore. Watching him back here was almost as mesmerizing as seeing him onstage. He was completely in his element, completely confident.

Not cocky. Confident.

My heart nearly burst with pride.

"Jax!" I called. "Jax, please!"

When he came to me, I babbled something, the first things that came to my mind. They barely made sense as I stammered, but when I saw the confusion in his eyes turn to something deeper, I knew they were the right things to say. The things I should have been saying all along. "I don't care. I love you."

Jaxson pressed his palm to my cheek and closed his eyes. He inhaled sharply, then let it out in a slow exhale.