"New look I'm trying," I said, angrily biting off my words and pushing my way into the merciless California sunshine.

The words “walk of shame” were used too casually. The heap of shame that weighed down on my shoulders almost slowed me to a crawl. I hung my head up until the moment I pushed the door to Annie's penthouse a little wider.

Girls. Everywhere. I didn't know them. But they sure seemed to know Jax.

I saw red.

"Can I get you something to drink, Jaxy?" one of them simpered. It was ten in the goddamned morning and he was under twenty-one, but from the look of her, getting Jax drunk was her topmost priority.

He smiled at her. "I'd love a Jack and Coke."

"You'd love it?" I called from the foyer. I meant to sound bitingly sarcastic, but it came out more as a deranged screech. Everyone in the room turned to look at me. I could see myself in the reflection of the glass-walled entryway. Puffy face, splotchy with anger, my hair a snarled rat's nest haloing my head. I looked unhinged. One of the girls tittered nervously.

"Hey, Bit," Jax called casually. "You look like you had a rough night."

The girls laughed harder. I ignored them. "You'd love a Jack and Coke. Is that like how you love me?"

"What the hell are you going on about?'

"The interview?" My voice was rising into the stratosphere. " 'No one special?' "

All of the female heads swiveled to look at him. His hands, which had been at his knees as he leaned forward listening, went behind his head. He laced his fingers casually and looked at me with that arrogant smirk that made my blood boil.

"Bit, why don't you go shower, get dressed, and come back? Get a cup of coffee while you're at it. You're not making sense."

I shook my head slowly. There was still an ache between my legs from last night, when I had lost my …when he had taken ….

"You didn't mean a word of it," I whispered.

His cocky smile faltered a little bit and he cast a hasty look around at our audience. "You're deluded."

"You're a cocky asshole," I shot back.

He leaned back and nodded at me. "You got that right, babe."

The heartbreak of watching the interview, seeing him publicly deny me, was one thing. But standing there while he posed and postured in front of an all-female audience, living out his basest rock star fantasies the morning after he told me he loved me…

That's what I could never forgive. No matter how my body ached for him, there was still that undeniable truth: he was a cocky asshole and would only break my heart again if I let him into my life.

Of course, there was the slight problem of him being in my life forever now.

I walked up to the counter. "Hi, I'm…" my voice faltered and I pressed my fingers in to the shining blonde wood. The icy blonde behind the counter raised an eyebrow at me. "Sorry. I'm just trying to get used to saying the words out loud. This is the first time I've ever said them to a stranger. Let me start again, okay?" I swallowed. "You were supposed to have some dresses set aside for me for a wedding this weekend? I'm Liliana Nesbit, Annie Blue's future stepdaughter?" I cleared my throat. "Jaxson Blue's future stepsister?"

Chapter Thirty

Jax

 

"Slow down, Jax." Bash was sweating.

"I am going slow." I paused and switched the wood to the other shoulder. This was the last piece off the truck. "Watch out for that mud right there."

"Right where?" Bash stepped right where I was pointing. "Oh, fuck me sideways!" he cried as his footing gave way.

His creative cursing was no use. The heavy piece of wood fell to the ground and began rolling toward the cliff edge. "Grab that!" I shouted to Diggs, who nodded and began sprinting. Bash took off after him and I was about to follow suit when a shrill voice screeched across the lawn.

"Jaxson, what the hell are you doing?"

I heaved a sigh and turned around. My mom wavered down the lawn. "I'm moving wood, Mom. What does it look like?"

"Looks like you're fucking around to me," she snarled.

Lovely. She was half in the bag and it wasn't even noon yet. "Yeah, I'm fucking around, Mom. Whatever you say."

She nodded briskly as I confirmed her suspicions. "Instead of standing there with your thumb up your ass, I need you to do something for me."

I wiped my face with my t-shirt. It was fucking hot today and I was too tired for her shit. "Yeah, Mom, whaddya need?" The guys were already hammering the pergola into place with the efficiency of years on the road together. I looked at them wistfully.

"I need you to pick up Aunt Fiona's dress from the shop and run it to Salvatore."

I stared at her. She couldn't be making less sense than if she had suddenly started speaking Russian. "Seriously, Annie? You have like, four personal assistants. Why exactly do you need me to pick up Fifi's dress?"

Then I noticed it. The wild look in my mother's eyes, the one that would frighten a lesser man. No wonder Nails had busied himself with the altarpiece. His big, burly, bearded bravado was no match for my mother in Bridezilla mode.

"Because, I am asking my son, who loves me and is grateful for all I have given him, to help me out," she slurred.

I wiped my face again. "Christ, Mom, lay it on a little thicker," I sighed. There was no getting out of this. "I'll get the stupid dress. Just let me shower first."

She turned with a satisfied smirk, secure in the knowledge that once again she had gotten her way. And now, it seemed I was off to a dress shop. How perfect.

*****

If I didn't recognize the place right off the bat, they sure recognized me. "Can I help you find something, Mr. Blue?" The tall, willowy blonde behind the counter was straight-up batting her lashes. "Something for your… girlfriend, perhaps?"

"I don't have a girlfriend," I snapped, too hastily. I shook my head, trying to dislodge the image of Bit that had wedged itself in the forefront of my mind's eye.

The ice queen's lips curled seductively, and for a second I could see the wolfish hunger in her eyes before she snapped back into flirtation. "That's a good thing," she cooed, licking her cherry-red lips.

I cut her off right there. "I'm here to pick up an order."

Then I mentally smacked my head. A shop girl… obviously a fan… This would have been the easiest lay ever.

But I didn't give a shit about her, or her flirting. I was just irritated that she'd even try.

Her manicured brows knitted together. "What's the name?" she asked, all the warmth drained out of her voice.

I wondered if she was one of the gossipy types who sold blind items to the tabloids. Then I realized I really, truly, did not care. "My mom's," I told her, checking my phone.

"Right away." Ice Queen snapped smartly around and headed to the back room. Was she actually wiggling her ass at me? Why was that hilarious?

I turned and ran my hand idly along the racks. The store was softly lit with warm, recessed lighting. The light oak fixtures set off the scattered furniture that looked like it belonged in a thrift store, but I was sure actually sold for thousands of dollars.

In other words, this place was a chick's dream.