Calia yawned and then closed her eyes, reaching her hand out and gripping my thumb, closing her little fingers around it. Her soft pink outfit was a stark contrast against her dark hair. She was angelic. The most perfect thing I’d ever seen in my life.

“Your Uncle Johnny will always take care of you,” I whispered to her. “You’ll never be hurt, because I won’t allow it. Between your daddy and I, no one will get to you.” I felt emotion bubbling up in my chest, and I quickly squashed it. I’d only cried once since I’d become an adult, and that was the day that I held Jill’s lifeless body in my arms. I refused to allow myself to feel anything beyond what was in this house. Even then, I wasn’t crying over Calia, no matter how perfect she was. Crying was for pussies and made people think you were weak.

Julia reappeared, holding out a high dollar Gibson Les Paul, a guitar so expensive I’d only looked at one once before, never touched it. I’d pined over one of these my entire teenage existence and even into my twenties. I’d never made enough to ever consider one. And since I hadn’t played in many years, I had no reason for one now. Julia did not need to spend this kind of money on me, especially not with a new baby and new business.

“Julia . . .”

She held up her hand. “Stop. I know what you’re going to say. It’s been years, Johnny. You work at these bars and listen to bands and even look for bands to play, but you won’t admit that you miss it. That you live and breathe playing. You’re too talented to throw it away. This is what you should be doing.”

She laid the guitar next to me on the couch and took Calia from my arms. Settling her in her bassinet, Julia turned back to me. I hadn’t touched it. I couldn’t even look at it. My heart pounded in my chest at even thinking about it. I couldn’t do it.

“Do you remember when I used to sneak down to the basement and listen to you play when I was supposed to be in bed? It was the best time of my day. I want to hear you play again, Johnny. Please. For me.”

Panic bubbled up in my chest, and I stood, unable to sit for fear I might explode. Not at her, but in general. I had to pull it together. Of course, she had no idea why it upset me to talk about it. Hell, she didn’t even know why I stopped playing. She’d assumed, but I’d never told her. That’s because I wouldn’t talk about it to anyone. Anyone.

I clenched my fists, gritting my teeth as Julia watched me seething. I shook my head. No. I couldn’t talk to her about it.

“Johnny,” she stood, stopping me with her hands on mine. “Talk to me. What is it? Why won’t you play again?”

I gripped her hands, careful not to squeeze too hard. Just because I was on the verge of a panic attack didn’t make it Julia’s fault. The walls felt like they were closing in on me, and my chest was tight. I had to get out of here.

“I have to go,” I stepped back, breaking our contact. “I need to get to the bar.”

Julia watched me, pain etched across her face. I was hurting her. I was always hurting people. I needed to thank her, but the words wouldn’t form. She’d only been trying to help me, but I was beyond help.

“I’ll see you later.” I stuffed my wallet in the back of my jeans and grabbed the keys to the car I was renting. It sure as shit wasn’t anything I’d normally drive, but it was a set of wheels. At this moment, I’d get on roller skates if it would get me away from the guitar I’d always wanted, sitting there mocking me.

Julia tried to smile but didn’t. “Be careful, Johnny,” were the last words I heard before I sprinted to the driveway.

“I’m in the weeds!” I called out to Cal, who nodded and made his way back behind the bar. The sounds of the band, ironically called Outrigger (I made a note to ask Cal about that when we weren’t buried) were bringing the people in droves off of the beach. I hadn’t stopped pouring beers and shots and mixing drinks in the two hours they’d been playing.

It was a good thing I’d been bartending for two years and wasn’t looking for training on my first night because it would’ve been trial by fire. I tapped my foot to the beat of the music. They were good, too. The all-male band wore all black, and they all had long hair and piercings.

Fingertips on my forearm snapped me back to the bar. A hot as hell woman stood in front of me, a small smile on her face. My arm stung from where she touched me. She wore a very small dress that barely covered her backside and was low cut in the front, showing off the fact that she wore no bra. Her blonde hair touched her shoulders, and her bright green eyes watched me in amusement. She knew I thought she was hot.

Did I still have a 'don’t take someone home from the bar' rule? Even here in Florida? Because she looked like she’d been on the beach tanning for days, and I wanted to see if she had tan lines. My eyes scanned down her dress and then back up. Yeah. I wanted to see those legs wrapped around my waist. Certainly I could break my rule this one time, right?

Maybe she had a room nearby. That was exactly what I needed tonight to forget what awaited me back at Julia’s. “Can I get you a drink, sugar?” I winked, knowing I was laying it on thick. It didn’t take long for me to get my way, especially with a woman like her. She’d already scoped out my body, tattoos, and face. She’d decided I was on her list. I figured since I was in Florida and didn’t know how long I was staying she was fair game.

She leaned over, putting her perfectly manicured hand on my arm again, tracing one of my tattoos with her fingertips. “I’d like a . . .” Her breath smelled like mint, and when she licked her lips, it was all I could do not to grab her and hike up that dress right here. It had been over a week since I took home ‘Zoey’ in Denver. It was time to silence the demons again.

“Sex on the Beach.” Yes, please. I’d take sex on the beach with her right here, right now. My eyes flitted out to the dark beach and then back to her.

I smirked, standing up and crossing my arms in front of my chest. My black shirt stretched tight across my pecs, and I knew she appreciated them. “Coming right up, sweetheart.” I grabbed a glass and mixed the liquids together, never taking my eyes off of her. I was the master of seduction, and damn if I didn’t know it.

“Here you go,” I slid the glass across the bar to her, winking as she dribbled some while trying to get it to her mouth. Oh, I had plans for that mouth later.

She sucked the straw into her mouth, sending lust straight to my groin. She downed it quickly and placed the glass back on the bar. “That’s so good. I’m Geena. What time do you get off, sweet thing?”

“It’s my first night, sugar,” I said. I’d show her that there wasn’t a fucking thing sweet about me. “Come see me in a few hours, okay?”

She nodded. “I’ve got a room upstairs,” she offered, and I almost cheered. I knew it. “It’s just me. My friends have their own room.” Geena indicated across the bar where a few other women stood, watching us.

I winked, mixing her up one more drink before walking to the other end of the bar. I felt her watching me before finally going back and joining her friends. Looked like I was going to have myself a good time tonight, after all.

“Thank God you’re here,” Cal said, appearing next to me. “This place is crazy tonight!”

“Seems to be this band bringing them in and keeping them drinking,” I said. “Do you have them booked for any more gigs? Are they local?”

“Yeah, local enough,” Cal said. “They live about an hour away and have played here a couple of times. I think they’ve got some groupies now.” He indicated the gaggle of girls standing around, swaying back and forth to their music.

I slid a beer across the bar and then wiped it down, ignoring what he said about groupies. “How late are we open tonight?”