“That’s BULLSHIT! Get your head out of your ass and put the damn ball in the basket!” Riley yells. “Jesus fucking Christ!”

I give him a cheeky grin. “Aw, what’s the matter, Rye? Afraid of losing to a girl again?” Riley’s a huge Lakers fan. I’m a Blazers girl. Portland is up by twenty points at the bottom of the fourth quarter. The loser has to buy pizza next time. I plan to order an extra large with the works since he’ll be paying.

He pulls me into a playful headlock and yanks on my ponytail. “Watch it, Summers. I know your weaknesses.”

I punch his leg. “Ha! I have no weaknesses!”

He maneuvers me so I’m now lying across the couch on my back with my head in his lap. “You think so?”

I lift my chin and stick my tongue out at him. “I know so.”

He raises his eyebrow and gives me a smile that has made many panties drop. “You think you’re so smart, huh?” He lifts his hand into view and slowly lowers it towards my rib cage. Oh heck no, he’d better not!

I widen my eyes. “Riley, don’t even think about it!”

He wiggles his fingers. “Don’t think about what, Dev? I thought you didn’t have any weaknesses? What are you so worried about?”

I try to squirm away but he moves his big body so he’s now on top of me, pinning me to the couch. He has both of my hands cuffed above my head with one of his and his other hand is hovering above me threateningly.  “Riley, don’t you dare!”

“Don’t I dare, what?” His fingertips brush my ribs and begin to move quickly.

I squeal as he begins his tickle torture. I am so ridiculously ticklish, it’s embarrassing. I buck and scream and laugh so hard I’m crying. “STOP! Please stop! You’re going to make me pee my pants!”

Josh laughs at us and gets up from the recliner to answer a knock at the door. “Man, don’t make her pee. I like that couch.”

Riley steps up his pace. “I’ll have it cleaned. This is too much fun.”

“Aaah! Riley please! STOP! Seriously! I’m about to go all geriatric on you!”

He stops and presses his body into mine holding me in place. He tightens his grip on my hands and says, “Remember that next time you want to talk smack about my team.”

His body is stretched over mine and he’s staring at my mouth. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear he wants to kiss me right now. He shifts slightly and I can feel something hard against my thigh. Oh my God, is that his—?

“Riley,” a pissy female voice says, “what are you doing?”

Riley jumps off the couch. Oh wow! I can totally see a penis-shaped bulge in his pants! He catches me looking and winks while he adjusts himself. Winks! What the heck is going on?

He walks up to the tiny brunette and pulls her in for a kiss. “Hey, Megan. We were just playing around. You remember Devyn, right?”

She crosses her arms over her giant boobs. “Uh huh. How could I forget? What’s she doing here?”

I get up from the couch and walk over to the attached kitchen to grab a beer out of the fridge. I hold one out to Rye’s flavor of the month as a peace offering. “Megan, do you want a beer?”

Her face twists in distaste. “Ew. I’ll have a wine cooler though.”

I laugh. She may be kind of bitchy but at least she has a sense of humor. “Ha! Good one.”

She glares at me. “What’s so funny?”

I twist the top off the bottle and take a swig. “The whole wine cooler joke. It was funny. Like anyone really drinks wine coolers anymore.”

Riley clears his throat. “Uh, Dev—”

Megan suddenly turns beet red. “You bitch! First, I find you all over my man and then you insult my choice of beverage? What the hell is wrong with you? Why don’t you go find a man of your own to hang out with, you little slut?”

Oh, no she didn’t! I set my beer on the counter and lunge for her but Josh steps in and holds me back. “Excuse me? Who the heck are you calling a slut?” I give her a good once over and take in her low cut top with denim mini skirt. “Have you looked in the mirror lately, Snooki?”

She’s clawing at Riley’s forearms while he holds her back. “Yeah, I have, and I look good! Which is more than I can say for you. You’re never going to get a boyfriend with the whole Amazonian Plain Jane thing you have going on!”

I lunge for her again. “For the record, I already have a boyfriend! I swear to God, Riley, if you don’t get her out of here, I’m going to punch her in the throat.”

“Dude, this is so hot!” Josh says.

Riley tightens his grip on her. “Megan, calm the fuck down. Devyn is going to be here whether you like it or not. Do I need to ask you to leave or are you going to behave?”

She breaks away from his hold and lets out a big huff. “Fine.”

Josh looks at me. “You good, baby girl?”

He releases his hold on me when I nod. “I’ll be good.”

Riley leads Megan towards the couch. “C’mon, babe, let’s watch the rest of the game.”

She trails her finger down his chest and hooks it under his waistband. “I don’t want to watch basketball.”

“It certainly doesn’t compare to a day at the mall,” I mutter.

Megan glares at me and leans into Riley, whispering in his ear.

Riley smiles at whatever she’s saying. “Uh, if you guys need me I’ll be in my room. But really, don’t knock unless the building is on fire.”

With that, Megan jumps on his back like a monkey and he carries her off to his bedroom, slamming the door behind them.

I roll my eyes. “Ugh, what does he see in that girl? She’s such a wench.”

Josh shrugs. “Maybe. But from what I hear, her rack is to die for and she has a mouth like a Hoover.”

I make a puking gesture. “Gross, Josh! Way too much information!”

He laughs and grabs a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet. “C’mon, baby girl, let’s watch the end of the game and get sloppy drunk. If you’re lucky, I might get so wasted I’ll let you take advantage of my hot body.”

I nudge his shoulder as I join him on the couch. “A girl can only hope.”

Moaning filters out through Riley’s bedroom. I glare at the closed door and grab the TV remote to increase the volume.

Josh looks at the door, then back to me and hands me the bottle of Jack with a strange expression on his face. “Here, darlin’, you look like you could use this.”

I grab the bottle from him and take a giant swig. Wiping my hand across my face I say, “Thanks, Josh.”

RILEY

THE SMELL OF COFFEE wakes me up. I walk into the living room and see a makeshift bed on the couch. I glance over to the attached kitchen and find Devyn standing in front of the coffee maker tapping her fingers on the counter. I can’t help but check out the mile long legs peeking out of the oversized t-shirt that she’s wearing. I frown as I come closer when I notice that it’s Josh’s favorite shirt. We make eye contact as I reach over her head to grab two mugs out of the cabinet.

I set them in front of the pot. “Here ya go.”

She pours some coffee into both mugs. “Thanks.”

We stand there in companionable silence for a minute while Devyn loads her cup with milk and sugar. She closes her eyes and moans upon taking her first sip. My dick jumps towards the sound.

I shift a little to conceal my burgeoning hard-on. “Hey, I’m sorry about the thing with Megan last night. She gets a little crazy when she feels threatened.”

She shrugs. “It’s fine.”

Before I can argue, Josh steps out of his bedroom and joins us in the kitchen. He ruffles Devyn’s hair and takes a sip from her mug. “How’s my favorite girl this morning?”

She takes her mug back from him and continues drinking like it’s no big deal they’re swapping spit right now. What the fuck? When did they get so cozy?

“Tired,” she says. “Your couch sucks. I slept like crap.”

He winks at her. “Hey, you were the one who refused my big, comfy bed. Don’t say I didn’t offer.”