“Don’t speak my name like that, Bell,” he warns as the tip of his finger finds my entrance. I know this is wrong, and not how I ever pictured my first time, but it doesn’t matter. I need this to happen. I want to let this happen with him.

“Please,” I beg when he holds off from sinking further in. That one word is all it takes for him to slide his finger in. “Jesse,” I half cry as he stretches me.

“Jesus, you’re fucking tighter than I imagined.” He moves his fingers and my concern is replaced with desire.

“Jesse, I—” I start to tell him, but I’m too lost in the sensation of what having a man finger fuck me feels like.

“That’s it, baby, fuck my fingers.” He slides in a second finger. It’s not like anything I’ve ever felt before. The heat building from within, the electricity coursing under my skin. A wave of emotion, a warm build up from inside out, threatens to flood through me and there’s no stopping it.

“Jesse, there’s something—” I pant unable to get it all out. “Oh, God!” I throw my head back in ecstasy as my fingers dig into his leather cut. “Yes,” I cry out, as heat blankets me, taking me on one hell of a ride. My head spins and my face feels numb, but I can’t think about all those things because Jesse keeps pumping into me, sending me into a frantic state.

“Holy fuck, sweetheart,” Jesse groans, slowing his fingers while I come back to myself.

“Oh, God, I’m so sorry,” I race out, not sure what just happened. I mean I’ve touched myself before, and brought myself to orgasm, but this? This was on another level.

“Turn around and lean over the bike, now,” he commands, and even though a small part of me doesn’t want it to happen like this, I can’t stop myself from doing as I’m told. I spin and face the bike feeling Jesse slide my jeans and panties down my legs.

“Step out of them,” he says, and again I obey by kicking off my flats and stepping out of my pants. I should tell him I have no idea what I’m doing, it’s only fair to him, but a part of me knows if I do, he will stop this.

“Lean over, sweetheart.” His palm moves to my lower back guiding me forward. I hear the rustle of jeans and the tear of what I assume is the condom packet, but none of this brings me out of my trance. Nothing makes me want to put a stop to it. “This what you want, Bell?” He kicks my feet out wider, making my stance more exposed. “Want me to fill your pussy?” He continues with his filthy words while gliding the tip of his cock along my pussy. It’s like I’m suspended in a world of pleasure, knowing in a minute it’s all going to come down around me in pain. Everything around me stops. Waiting for that moment.

“Tell me to stop, Bell,” Jesse pleads behind me, but I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to tell him.

“Please, Jesse,” I beg instead.

Then he’s in me.

I cry out in discomfort as the intrusion stretches me wider than before. Searing pain anchors me frozen. Head spinning, body buzzing, and heart racing, my senses come alive. Oh, God, this is happening.

“What the fuck, Bell?” Jesse’s planted inside me.

“Don’t stop,” the words spew out in protest. I just need to adjust to his size I tell myself.

“Jesus, fuck, you’re a virgin?” He sounds pissed off, more pissed off than I imagined, so I don’t acknowledge that he’s correct.

Instead, I beg him to keep going, “Please don’t stop, Jesse.”

“Answer me, dammit.” He doesn’t pull out, but he doesn’t keep moving.

“Well, kind of.”

“What do you mean ‘kind of’? You either are, or you aren’t.”

“I tried it once, well half-tried,” I correct. I start to move, but his palm pushes me further down onto the bike.

“Don’t fucking move,” he grinds out and the sound has me clenching. “And don’t fucking do that.” His hold on my hip tightens stopping me from moving.

“Sorry,” I whisper, starting to feel more comfortable with him inside of me.

“Go back to the half. You can’t half have sex,” he accuses, but he would be wrong.

“Well, I have.” I’m defensive. What would he know?

“Yeah? And how did you manage that?” His tone rubs me wrong but I’m pinned to a bike and currently attached to his cock, so I can’t move.

“I was almost seventeen. My boyfriend at the time wanted it. But I couldn’t handle it, okay? I barely let him all the way in before I freaked out,” I say, my embarrassment growing.

“Jesus, fuck, you’re a virgin.”

“Fine, okay, yes. Technically, I’m a virgin. Is it a problem?” I feel him grow even harder.

“Why didn’t you try again?” he asks and I don’t want to answer, but I know he won’t accept my silence.

“He dumped me because I wasn’t ready. Then a few weeks later, Paige went missing and I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve been ready.”

“Fucking Hell, Bell,” he curses, still not moving from me.

“Just fuck me, Jesse,” I tell him, more ready than I’ll ever be. I’ve come this far. I’m not that girl any more. I can handle this.

“I’m going to Hell for this,” he moans, before slowly moving. My discomfort is long gone, making me believe it’s going to be fine, but as he enters me harder with each thrust, I feel the burn start to build. “Fuck, this is wrong,” he says again, but for me, everything is telling me it’s right. His breathing starts to labor as his strokes become faster. More controlled.

“Jesus, Bell, I don’t think I’ve ever felt something so good,” he whispers in my ear, need and want rolls though me. His hand moves around to my front and finds my clit. His pace quickens and the heat I felt when he fingered me, comes back, only this time, I’m prepared.

“Fuck, I’m not gonna last, baby.” His voice cracks on the endearment making my stomach flutter. I don’t have a chance to think on his words before his movements become uncontrolled. Holding on, I focus on his finger and the circles he’s drawing against me.

“Fuck,” he says on a groan behind me, pumping into me harder, with longer strokes. Over and over. I want to say it’s amazing, but I would be lying. It’s hard to explain. The pleasure is there, dancing in front of me, teasing me, but the sting doesn’t quite let it take the lead.

Jesse’s groans grow louder, against the still air. One hand at my side, his fingers bite into the side of my skin, holding me steady as he thrusts, once, twice and a third time before coming to a complete stop. I keep still, my body aching in a strange mixture of excitement and fatigue while my pussy throbs with Jesse still inside of me. His fingers keep their rhythm, and now that he’s no longer moving inside of me, I can zone in on his touch, and let it take me over. “Come on, baby. I need you to come.” His hot breath almost pushes me over, but for some reason, I can’t get there. “Now, Bell,” he demands and it’s what I need to take me over. Heat blasts through me, pushing me into a state of bliss I never knew existed.

“Yes, yes,” I pant as my toes curl in an attempt to hold onto the intensity. This time the frenzy is over quicker, but it hits me with more force.

“That’s it, baby,” he encourages, still teasing me with his fingers. My orgasm slows, my world coming back to me.

“Oh, God,” I say when I get all five senses back.

“Jesus, Bell.” He groans as he slides out of me. I keep still, bent over at the waist, unsure how to proceed.

“Let me take care of the condom,” he says, giving me a chance to move, find my pants and step back into them. The light of the parking lot’s lamps shine bright, and now, under the white light I feel exposed. Shit, that really just happened. I feel the slight ache between my legs, but I push it out of my head when my eyes find Jesse stalking back to me.

“What the fuck, Bell?” His face tells the story of what I’m about to get.

“What?” I brace myself for his anger, willing myself not to cower.

“What? That’s all you have to say ‘what?’”