“Who’s that?” my sister asks when I get to my room.

“Ummm,” I panic. Shit I forgot Ava is nosey. She was probably spying on me.

“Don’t lie to me, Bell.” She folds her arms like mom would do and I almost laugh.

“Jesse, he’s a friend,” I explain, hoping she didn’t see the kiss or she would think I’m lying.

“Mom’s going to freak,” she says, ignoring the friend comment.

“You can’t tell her.” I opt for pleading. Oh, God, she will blab. I can feel it.

“You know this is ridiculous? You’re twenty-three. You don’t have to worry what Mom says. If you just stood up to her, she can’t do anything.” She walks into my room and falls back to my bed.

“I know. It’s my fault. I let it happen this way. I am trying to fix it, make it better for everyone,” I tell her and she nods like she understands, even if she doesn’t.

“Be safe.” A foreign smile spreads over her face and it’s so amazing to see it on her, I stop what I’m doing and move to her, pulling her up and into my arms.

“Always,” I whisper into her hair, holding her tightly.

“This means you owe me.” She pulls back and smirks. I don’t reply. I just watch the sneaky witch try to play me. “Friends, hey?” She pushes, and I know she’s too smart to fool.

“I don’t know what’s worse, Mom finding out I’m out with an older man, or me owing you.” Her laugh echoes in our empty house and it feels good to finally hear it.

“How old is he?” She pushes but I don’t have time to explain everything.

“We’ll talk later. I have to go.” I hear the sound of the bike start up.

“Holy shit, he has a bike?” She chokes on her scream. I ignore her freak out and pick up my jacket.

“Not a word to Mom.” I point back at her, needing to know she has my back.

“What do you want me to tell her if she asks?” she yells when I reach the bottom of the stairs.

“Tell her I went to Lissy’s.” Knowing my Mom, she will believe it.

“Have fun.” Ava waves and I return it before locking the door and rushing out to meet Jesse.

“You sure about this, Bell?” Jesse asks before handing me his spare helmet.

“Yeah. I’ve never been so sure,” I admit and then recoil when a cocky smirk graces his face. I wish I knew what it is about him, why he tries so hard to hide behind the bullshit smiles, but I don’t. All I know is his coming to me tonight has flipped something in me.

“You been on a bike before, Bell?” He helps me fasten the strap on my helmet.

“No, this will be my first time.”

“Oh, you always remember your first time, Bell.” His lame line makes me laugh. I’m so used to them now. I think I fall for him a little more, especially if they are extra lame.

“You’re so bad.”

“I know. You want help?” he asks, but I shake my head.

“It’s not rocket science, Jesse,” I say, lifting my leg and climbing on behind him.

“Jesus, who are you and where have you been?” He shakes his own head, like he’s lost in the thought.

I don’t reply but I do grin like a fool.

“Are we going?” I tap his shoulder when he continues to sit staring back at me. The rumble of the bike vibrates through me as an answer and I slide forward a little to get my balance. He reaches back, pulls my hands around him and gives me a squeeze. I don’t protest. Instead, I lean closer as he revs the throttle a little more.

“Hold on, baby.” He looks back, his eyes pure seduction, dripped in mischief. I hold on to them, wondering what it means. I was right when I said this man is a puzzle. One minute, it’s like I’m looking into the eyes of a man falling apart, fighting demons, and the next, he’s playing with me.

If only I knew which one was the real Jesse Carter.

“Do you bring all the girls out here?” I joke when Jesse shuts off his bike twenty-minutes later. I look around the empty parking lot of Mount Lookout, Rushford’s very own make-out point. I’ve heard the stories of this place, lots of stories.

“No, Bell.” He lifts his helmet off his head and packs it away in a side compartment.

I climb off the back before working on my helmet. “I was joking,” I say, not sure what he’s thinking. The ride up was quiet. While I’ve never been on a bike before, riding with Jesse eased me into it. I didn’t let the feeling of holding him affect me. If I did, I would be swept up in it.

“Want to walk?” I ask, watching him take my helmet and becoming lost in his head again.

“Yeah,” he agrees, reaching out his hand for mine. I don’t falter. Taking his hand in mine, I let him pull me toward the walking track. The dark night is illuminated with street lamps, but not enough to see if anyone is hiding in the bushes.

“Jesse, is it safe here?” I ask when the chill in the air brings goose bumps to my arms.

“I’ve got you, Bell.” He wraps his arm around me and the smell of his leather cut fills my nostrils. Who would have thought leather and man, could smell so good.

“Any news on Paige?” I ask after a few minutes of silence.

“Not yet, still working on a few angles.” I smile, not giving up hope that the Knights Rebels can help me.

“So what’s going on?” I come out and ask. Better to let it all out. Plus, I need to know what made him come to me.

“Just shit with my family,” he says, but doesn’t elaborate.

“Anything I can help with?”

“No, sweetheart.” He laughs, but it’s forced.

“I know all about messed-up families,” I say, comfortable enough to talk to him about Paige. It’s no secret our family is screwed up after Paige, but it’s not something I freely talk about either. I’m not sure what it is that makes me feel at ease enough to talk to Jesse. It’s just something about him that makes me want to tell him everything.

“I don’t know where to start.” He stops walking and releases me from his hold. The cool air hits me in the absence of him but I wrap my arms around me and try to fight off the chill.

“Jesse, if you don’t want to talk about it, it’s okay,” I encourage when he stops talking. Part of me wants to push him, the other part understands and doesn’t.

“My dad’s dying,” he blurts out in a rush and I gasp at the shock of it.

“Oh, God, I’m so sorry.” I step toward him, but his hand comes up, stopping me.

“Don’t be,” he spits out and I recoil. “He’s not a good man, Bell.” I let his words register before deciding to respond.

“He’s still your dad, Jesse. I can understand why you’re upset.”

“The man wasn’t a father, but more of a drill sergeant. I’m not upset he’s dying, but hearing the news has fucked with my head.” I nod, unsure how to approach his confession. I barely know anything about Jesse’s family. It’s one subject he doesn’t talk about much in our late night calls. I know he is somewhat close with Detective Carter, and that he has another brother Jay. His mother is a sweet woman, but other than that, nothing. I remember the tension back in the hospital with his father when Jesse came in with the cut and busted foot. I could tell there were issues, but I’ve never been brave enough to ask. “It’s just complicated and I wasn’t expecting this news tonight,” he adds.

“I understand,” I tell him, because I do know what it’s like to have everything you know come down around you.

“I don’t know how I ended up at your place. I just took a ride and next thing I knew, I was knocking on your door.” He runs his hand through his hair. If I couldn’t see how tense he was, I’d be able to feel it.

“I don’t know what you’ve done to me, Bell. But you’re messing with my head,” he confesses. Hearing it makes me feel less like a lovesick fool for feeling the same way, but it also frightens me.

“Jesse.”

“Don’t say anything.” He stops me from telling him I feel the same way. “Just ignore I said that.” He smiles unsure, but how could I let it go when it’s what I’ve been feeling.

“I feel the same,” I whisper, watching his face for his reaction. I know Jesse doesn’t want me to admit it, but there is no telling my mind that when he invades my thoughts every day. “If it makes you feel any better, I can’t stop thinking about you.” I give him more, hoping he feels less messed up about it.