Swallowing my nerves, I can’t let him know how long I’ve struggled when it came to his brother. “Um…wow, no. I had no idea he was back from where ever he went. No one told me a thing.” Hell, no one said shit when I was left to pick up the pieces of my life after Micah left.
Matt tilts his head back like I’ve offended him. “Your parents mentioned nothing to you?” He eyes me with an odd expression.
The way he is looking at me like I’m missing something is most unnerving. I’m not only confused, I’m baffled. “My parents, no. Why would my parents know anything?” I look at him inwardly saying ‘duh,’ the only thing they wanted to do was kill Micah for leaving their daughter in a mess. Our parents, never talked. We all lived close, but that was it. No communication, ever.
Matt’s frantically running his hand across his forehead. “Well, I told your parents shortly after Micah left. He wanted to make sure I let you know where he was. You weren’t home, they said you left for your aunt’s house for a while. After that, I never saw you again. Weird.” His body language takes on a more relaxed position, laying his arms on the counter. “The way he left was a mess, he really wanted to talk to you. He just felt it was better to leave it alone. The more time that went on, he knew you most likely moved on as well.”
“Yeah, weird.” My anger overtakes me with the idea Micah once again did what he thought was right for me, never once asking me what the hell I wanted. Who the hell was he to think he knew better? He didn’t know shit! A fact proved only a short time after he left. Me.
“Okay, not sure when I’ll see him, but I will tell him you work here. I know he would love to catch up with you.”
Oh please, don’t for God's sake. Not a good idea. Not now…Jesus. The knot in my stomach feels like a fist to the gut. I can feel my panic attack starting to brew.
“Um, Matt, not a good idea. It was a long time ago. A lot has changed, and it’s best we don’t see one another again.” My breathing’s calculated, long and slow. I can’t do this, I’m struggling to remain calm on the outside because my insides are being torn apart once again. I really want a redo on this shitty Monday.
“I’m surprised.” Matt’s eyes search mine carefully. “He’s never forgotten about you. Talks about you, still to this day. He’s always wondered what happened to you and even went to your parents house like I did. Only they told him you never forgave him for hurting you, so he decided to let you go.”
What?
Oh God, what is he telling me? Oh no! My mind is spinning. Micah spoke to my parents. Matt talked to my parents. My parents never said one word to me. My mind’s not able to comprehend any of this. I was able to finally let go after five years. Went as far to get a tattoo to symbolize my finally letting him go, and now I find out he still talks about me. What the fucking hell? This doesn’t change a thing. Our time was then, not now. My life is with Nick. I’m sure Micah’s changed, and I know I sure have. I honestly never expected to hear or see Micah ever again.
As the tears spill over and down my cheeks, I glance up to see Matt studying my face. Shit. I slowly turn away from him, and clutch my aching chest.
“Excuse me.” I stand up and sprint to the restroom. Locking the door my head falls against it with a loud thud. After a few calming breaths, I make my way to the sink. Staring at myself in the mirror, I start to hyperventilate. Splashing cold water on my face, I concentrate on slowing my breathing like I did when I… shit, not today. I can’t let my mind go back there. It’s taken me so long to get to this point, I cannot go back now. Letting out an emotionally packed sigh, it’s time I had a talk with myself. Looking in the mirror, my nose flares with each deep intake of air. “You moved on. Get it out of your system. Straighten yourself up, get your ass back out there and pretend like everything is cool.”
Like that worked, nope not at all.
Defeated, I walk back to my desk. I’m praying no one caught onto my episode. Blowing out a huff, I notice all is well. Matt is no longer in the waiting area. Thankfully, Lori has taken him back to her room. Phew.
“You okay, Elsa?”
Shit, Dr. Davis is staring at me with concern. I never caught sight of him until he spoke.
“Of course,” I force a smile on my somber face. “Sorry, I had to excuse myself.” I’m sure the wiping under my eyes, shows how much I’m not okay at all.
“Heard you had a big weekend, Liza has been busy.” He jokingly replies.
I groan. “Great. Please don’t listen to her, she’s on drugs.” I blurt it out, not even thinking he is our boss, I’m just so upset that girl can’t keep her damn mouth shut.
Slapping my hand over my mouth, I gasp. “Oh, no. No. No. I did not mean that.” With my luck, I’d get the girl fired the way my day was going.
The laugh that escapes his lips put me at ease. “Don’t worry, I know what you meant. Also, if you need anything, let me know. You’re the best front desk girl around, and I will not lose you.” He says with a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
Wide-eyed, I just stare at him, bewildered. I’m not thinking about quitting. What the hell has Liza said, now? “Thanks, Dr. Davis.”
Thankfully, the rest of the day is uneventful. Unfortunately, my mind has been all over the place since Matt showed up out of nowhere. He left with no further incident. I think he felt sorry, because he did not say another word about his brother. After the way I reacted, I’m sure he saw how shaken up I was.
I’m stuck having a recurring theme plague my every thought. There is a part of my past that has a real connection with Matt, his whole family if I’m honest. The idea that no one in the Taylor family knows is hurting me. I know I can never tell them, and that’s what saddens me the most. Even if I could, what would be the point? It’s too late.
It’s nearing the end of my day and it could not come fast enough. My head has not been right since Matt was here. Liza has been busy most of the day, so I didn’t have to worry about her prying too much. It worked out perfectly, I played my bizarre behavior on a bad headache, and she bought it. There was not a snowball’s chance in hell, I was telling her who Matt was. Hell, I’ve never even told her Micah’s name. I’ve kept that part a secret, because I never wanted a long conversation that included his name being brought up over and over again. She never pushed, and I never offered it up.
Cleaning up my desk, I glance up and see Nick walking to the front door from the parking lot. Shit, dinner. Oh man, this is the last thing I need tonight. How the hell do I get out of dinner? Simple. I don’t. I suck it up. Nick does not need to find out about this little hiccup.
Opening the door, he says, “Hey beautiful girl, ready for dinner?” His emerald eyes sparkle drinking me in.
Just like that, my frown turns into a smile, a genuine smile. Nick just knows me. He’s exactly what I need to forget my crappy day. Straightening out my head, I hold up my finger to let him know I’ll be ready soon. “Give me a few and we can head out.”
Giving my area a once over, I grab my purse and reach for the door handle. Liza is working late with a patient. They have another hour ahead of them. Knowing her boyfriend is coming to pick her up, I’m ready to go. With my hand on the door, the phone rings, and I ponder on whether to answer it or let it go to the recording. “What now.” I let go of the door handle to answer it.
“Noelridge Dental, can I help you?” My voice is marginally stressed.
An awkward pause follows.
“Elsa, is that you?”
“Yes, this is Elsa, can I help you?” I’m not paying much attention, because the file on my desk needs filing. Not thinking much else, I turn to do just that saying the alphabet in my head, to make sure the chart is filed correctly.