“Mind telling me why you have tears in your eyes?” Nick says to a somber faced Micah.

Nick’s less than friendly question to Micah has Liza and me just as curious. I guess we’re all wondering why Micah is looking a bit lost. It’s his tears that are not so easily explained. Why is he crying? He seems just as bewildered as I am. My feelings toward Micah are one thing, and I’ve concluded he did not feel the same toward me since I have not seen or heard from him in years. He didn’t even explain why he broke it off to begin with.

Looking white as a ghost, Micah clears his throat. His hand trembles as it rests on his chin. “I had no idea, how I would feel seeing you again after all this time. It was a shock when Matt told me he saw you today. Then it dawned on me that, you work with Liza. The pieces gradually begain to fit together after that.” His lips curl, exposing a side smile. “Pip is not just some girl, she happens to be a girl I cared for a long time ago. And still do. Talk about a pleasant shock.”

His voice trails off realizing now, all the time Liza referenced me as Pip, I was Elsa. His Elsa, from a long time ago.

“That’s all she was to you?” Nick’s question is more like than an accusation. “Some girl you once knew? Jesus Christ, you have no idea the hell she’s been through for the past five years. You might have had a life, even lived it up, but not this girl. She has cried and survived hell, all because of you!”

Nick, not being able to contain himself, lets it all out. Micah looks pale like someone punched him in the gut, with every word Nick speaks, his winces. Frankly, I want to crawl in a hole and skip this totally fucked up day. I only wish I had time to process what all of this means, for all of us. We’re all connected, one way or another.

Struggling to find my balance, my mind is in a fog. “Listen, just stop. Nick, he doesn’t need or care to hear all of that. We were together back in the day, then he went to live his life. It’s time I get back to mine. I’m just in shock. He is dating Liza, and I never realized it was him. It changes nothing, he’s with Liza, and I’m with you. Now, can we all just get along and forget about the past mistakes.” I refuse to let Micah know how much he meant to me and how badly I’ve struggled. Letting my guard down and openly exposing myself will only end up destroying what’s left of my fragile heart.

“Like Hell!” We all snap our heads in Liza’s direction. She’s more frantic by each passing minute. The more her mind tries to absorb this, the more agigated she becomes.

“Why have you been so hung up on him for so long? Just how close were you two? I, for one, am not comfortable with any of this until I know what happened between you two.” She says pointing her finger directly at me.

It’s easy to see how hurt Liza is. Her confusion and uneasiness wash over her fidgeting body.

Nick’s been muttering under his breath and having a one-sided conversation with himself. “I for one, would love to add some insight into the Elsa and Micah tragedy.” Only this time, he makes sure we all hear what he has to say.

I turn to face him head on. The look on my face is daring him. He better not. I make sure my eyes say more than I’ll be able to say verbally, in front of Micah. My death glare should do the trick as I openly slam him.

“Nick! that is enough. No one needs to hear my story. All of it is mine. I don’t need or want to rehash it. Leave it alone.” My poor finger is shaking like a leaf against his chest.

“What the hell is he talking about, Elsa?” Micah moves closer to me, eliminating the open space we once had between us. His body is straight as a board, but his chest is heaving deeply, and I swear I can feel his hot breaths as they hit my face. We are standing now, all of us close to one another.

I unintentionally step back from him, not liking the direction this conversation is heading. I’m inwardly praying toward the ceiling. Breathe Elsa. Calmly cool this situation down, before it spins out of control.

“Nothing, Micah,” I say as I slowly open my praying eyes. I struggle for each breath, “You leaving like you did, hurt me. No need to relive the story, you already know it. Young girl in over her head, in love with a guy who didn’t feel the same. That much was plainly evident.” Lowering my eyes from his intense glare, I focus on the floor instead. I know if I keep looking at him, I will crumble. Great. Some things never change, his eyes still hold so much power over me.

His loud gasp immediately summons my attention. What I did not expect was his abrupt change in attitude. His nose is flaring with every staggered breath. One hand on rests firmly on his hip while the other rubs his lips, aggressively.

“How do you know I didn’t feel the same? I was young, stupid and made mistakes. You were important, some things were just bigger than us and I had to see them through.” His blue eyes are pleading with me to believe him, his expression softens with each word. Just hearing him tell me I was important to him is splitting my already aching heart in two.

I shake my head, trying not to let his words affect me, even though they are. “I’m sure you felt you needed to do just that. Matt told me some things today like you went to my parents. I never got a message or knew you ever stopped by.” I can’t help the tears from escaping, wondering if things would be different today if I had known.

Remembering back to that day, Micah’s grin is held at bay when he lightly bites his lower lip. “Yeah, your father was not at all happy when I showed up on your doorstep. He was beyond furious for some reason.”

“I know the fucking reason, you prick!” Nick shouts, and I can’t help but jump.

My quiet moment when the room felt like it was just Micah and me came to a crashing halt. It pisses me off because Nick is dying to tell him my secret and I can’t hide my displeasure.

“Nick! Shut your mouth before you say things you can’t take back.” I’ve never raised my voice to Nick, but he is pushing me to my limit.

Liza takes a few steps closer to me, questioning. “What the hell, Elsa? What are you hiding? It’s obvious Nick knows.” She shifts her eyes between me and Nick, waiting for one of us to answer.

My chest constricts and I’m struggling for every breath. I hate the idea of my past being aired out publicly and it may push me back to the one place I’ve fought so hard to escape. My head starts spinning, and I’m quickly losing what little control I have. Unable to stay upright, Nick takes a hold of me before I hit the floor.

“Nick,” Micah says with his hand idly on Nick’s chest. “If you know something I should know, man up and tell me. It’s pretty evident witnessing Elsa faint, that there is more here than meets the eye.” Micah sounds angry and he knows Nick is hiding something. Micah was never one to let things lie, he will keep pushing if he wants to know something bad enough.

Liza, for once, called me Elsa, and that is not a good sign. Micah is pressing Nick, who like a rabid dog, is dying to one up Micah and tell him what he knows. I have to stop this madness right now. I need to clear my head and find a way to get everyone settled down and out of my apartment.

Tilting my head toward Micah, I aggressively unleash my anxiety. “NO! NO! NO! Listen, Micah Taylor, you left me. Whatever I lived through or had to deal with, I did it on my own. I had no one. I did the best I could, and it doesn’t matter what the hell you want right now, you’re not getting it!” I’m so angry, my lips curl, and my nails bite in my palms. I need to stand firm. I cannot fall to pieces, at least not yet. And not in front of him.

Pleading with me, Micah holds out his shaky hand. “What are you even saying? Please tell me?” His eyes float desperately looking for any answers he can get.