I closed the distance between our lips, and I claimed her mouth, gently at first. A kiss that soon turned hungry and hot.

19

Sara

The moment our lips met, sparks ignited between us. I couldn’t believe it was happening—Harvey was actually kissing me, and I didn’t have the strength or the will to say no. I wanted him will all my heart. Attraction, like a great big magnet, called out to me and made my arms lift up and curl around his thick neck, my fingers brushing against the soft wisps of hair at his nape.

My eyes closed, heavy from the feeling of bliss that made them roll, as his tongue did a magical swirl, filling my mouth and making the core between my legs pulse in a wild frenzy. I didn’t know what I was thinking, letting him kiss me like that, my stepbrother, but I didn’t make him stop, either. I lost touch with my thoughts; they were obliterated as my senses detonated. His hand ran the length of my torso, caressing its way up, then groping past my boob. I gasped and threw my head back, moaning, knowing I’d never been this turned on in my whole, entire life. His hand was at the back of my head, his fingers weaving through my hair. He tilted my head back to look up at him; his tongue darted out, licked the seams of my mouth, coaxing me to open up again, and I let him in.

In the back of my mind I tried to quash the voice that told me we shouldn’t be doing this. That his hands should not be where they were, on my hips clawing at my top, and his tongue should definitely not be inside my mouth, almost making me come with its masterful strokes.

Harvey wound his arms around my waist and pulled me even closer, hauling me to a standing position and almost off my feet, onto my tiptoes.

Tightening my hold on him, I pressed my body against him harder, feeling his need in his pants grow. I moaned again as he bent me backwards slightly; my spine arched as his tongue travelled deeper inside my mouth, as if he wanted to taste and explore every last part of me.

I denied him nothing. His hands crept up and tangled themselves in my locks again, tugging my head gently as he trailed hot kisses down my neck. Just as his lips made contact with my cleavage, my chest was rapidly moving up and down. I was totally lost in the way he was exploring my body. He reared back from me, his arms spread wide, no longer touching me.

His chest heaved with heavy panting, and a shadow crossed over his blue eyes, darkening the features on his face.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered and went to touch his swollen lips with my fingers.

A muffled curse slipped free from his lips; his breath was on my fingertips, his hand catching my wrist before I made contact.

“I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry.” Without another word, he released my wrist, turned on his heel and left. The back door slammed, shaking the house, and I stood in the middle of the room, breathing hard, trying to figure out what went wrong.

It could never work, I told myself. And not just because he walked out on me, leaving me standing there like a fool, but I had a new life growing inside me to consider. I couldn’t in my right mind get involved with my stepbrother. Even though technically, after my mother’s passing we were no longer related by law. It was a technicality and nothing else. I pulled Humbug to me and lay stroking him on the bed, taking comfort in his body as he purred at my touch, while I patiently waited for sleep to come. But after a kiss like that, I was more awake than ever. I hadn’t been able to concentrate after Harvey had left. Unable to eat, I’d paced the house, dialling and redialling his number over and over again. He never answered. Something had spooked him.

I dreaded and yet at the same time longed for the morning, when I’d be able to see him again at work. But if he wasn’t answering my calls now, how on earth would he react to seeing me face-to-face in the office?

I spent the whole night stressing about whether I should actually go into work that day or just avoid it all together. And when morning arrived, the longing and urgency I’d felt the night before was overshadowed with worry. But I forced myself to go in and face Harvey. I was determined not to remain the coward Eric had made me into. I had to fight for what I wanted… and I think I wanted Harvey and the baby. I knew I did.

I stepped onto the fifth floor and pushed past the throngs of people squeezing off the lift and heading to their stations. I dumped my belongings at my desk and sneaked a glance at Harvey’s office to see if he was already there. It was empty, and I was filled with disappointment.

The glass doors flew open, and behind me Harvey’s long strides sounded; beside him Sadie’s lighter footfalls shuffled along the carpet. He went straight into his office without a glance and shut the door. Sadie nodded to me and sat at her desk.

Dread settled in my belly, but there was also something else, a familiar sensation of excitement and longing that always made itself known at the mere of sight of Harvey. But he hadn’t even said hello to me.

“What’s up with your face?” Sadie asked as she openly stared at me. “Did you do the test?” she whispered, leaning over.

I nipped at the inside flesh of my cheek and turned the other way.

“Oh come on, tell me. What’s the verdict?”

I sighed; she would get it out me sooner or later, I thought.

With a weak smile I swivelled my chair in her direction and nodded. “It’s real. I’m pregnant.”

I could tell by the glint in her eye she wanted to spring up and give me a hug and to celebrate, but she stayed rooted to her chair. “And how do we feel about it?”

“Still processing it all,” I replied.

“What does Harvey think? You did tell him, didn’t you?”

I scowled at the mention of his name. Before I could answer, his door opened and he breached our little conversation.

From across the room I glared at him, standing there, so fucking smug, as if nothing had happened, and yet I wanted to throw myself into his arms and kiss him. Out the corner of my eye I could see Sadie’s head moving from side to side, as if she were at a Wimbledon final. It seemed like we were frozen, looking at each other, and I didn’t dare to breathe. He returned my look, but there was sadness, vulnerability in his eyes. I’d always been amazed at how he could tell just by looking at me the mood I was in, or how I was feeling. But the world had shifted, and as I gazed at him, a whole room between us, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that something was wrong, that he was hiding something. He’d pushed me away last night for a reason. I didn’t know what that reason was, but it was there. He’d been holding it back this whole time—perhaps it’d been there forever—but I’d been too blinded by my own worries to see it. To see that he too was in pain, a shadow of a clinging demon, ever present, on his shoulder. And there upon him, clear as day, was a crack in his armour. He’d hid it so well.

A whole minute elapsed before I looked away, turning my face from his intense stare.

“Harvey? Did you need something?” Sadie asked cautiously.

He shook his head and started to walk through our little alcove towards the glass door. I turned my chair away from him. He held the door ajar, but before slipping through, he cleared his throat and said, “Sara, I have some news to tell you, but I have to run. I have a meeting across town, but I’ll tell you as soon as I get back, so don’t go anywhere. OK?”

I nodded, my voice a whisper as I said, “Sure.” Then he was gone again.