“Of course, I’ll have to get accustomed to all the sitting and the typing, but I’ll adjust.”

Harvey pulled us to a stop, and his eyes found mine. A line of concentration and concern flickered in his eyes. “Is it too much?”

I shook my head and gave him a reassuring smile. “Not at all, I’ll get used to it. I’m just tired today. You should seriously invest in some new office chairs, though.”

“I could find you another position if you want,” he offered.

“No, Harvey. I’m good, really. I don’t need you babying me just because I haven’t taken a proper job in three years.”

“OK, if you’re sure,” he mumbled distractedly, but we continued to walk again. I didn’t want him worrying about me all the time; I was a full-grown woman, and though it was nice for him to think of me, I couldn’t rely on him forever.

We paused in front of an Italian restaurant. I glanced up at him with a questioning gaze—it was a bit fancy.

“I eat here all the time. I think you’ll love it,” He said as he reached out and pulled the door to La Caverna open for me, waiting patiently as I stepped inside and felt the welcoming, warm air that contained myriad heartening herbs and spices.

“Welcome, Mr Guyer. I see you brought a guest with you. A rare occurrence. I guess you won’t want your usual table for one then?” the aged maître d' said as he grinned at me.

“Very perceptive, Carlo,” Harvey teased. “Table for two, please.”

Carlo nodded, collected a couple of menus and led us to a table out of the main thoroughfare. The old man pulled out my chair and I thanked him, sitting down and bringing my forearms to rest on the white tablecloth. As soon as Harvey took his place, Carlo handed us the menus.

“I’ll give you two some time to order. I presume you would like the same wine as usual, sir?”

“You know me too well, Carlo. Thank you.”

I peered around the room, feeling on edge. The place was so fancy, it oozed wealth… and romance, and I was totally out of my element. The people at the other tables were dressed to the nines, sharing candlelight dinners and holding hands across the small, round tables.

“Is something wrong, Sara?” Harvey asked when I hadn’t lifted the leather-bound menu.

“We should’ve persuaded Sadie to come…”

“Why?” he said, frowning.

“It’s so intimate,” I whispered, “surely you’d rather be here with her than me.”

“Don’t be silly. We’re here to celebrate your first day. It was a bit of a rollercoaster, but you got through it,” he said, beaming.

“You’re right, today was a big day…” Both of us knew exactly what we were referring to. Carlos had brought a bottle of rich-looking red wine and, when Harvey had tasted and approved it, poured us each a glass. I lifted mine. “Here’s to the future. Here’s to moving on.”

“Atta girl,” Harvey replied as we clinked glasses.

After looking through the list, I settled for a pan-fried scallop salad for starters and a pasta dish for my main. Harvey insisted on sticking with his usual, a lamb dish with crispy prosciutto, and a tomato and mozzarella bruschetta to start.

I took another sip of wine and smiled as we waited, the candlelight from the table flickering, making his eyes dance as he watched me. An abrupt cramping in my stomach startled me. I frowned lightly and bit down my lower lip, willing the unexpected nausea to go away. Harvey leaned closer as I tried to hold back another wave rolling around in my stomach. The queasiness was making me break out in a sweat, and my clammy fingers reached for the glass of water by my wine.

I took a sip, urging my stomach to be calm.

“Sara?” he asked, worried.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” I blurted, scrambling to my feet and running for the bathroom.

17

Sara

I had just managed to find the bathroom when my stomach rolled again, and I stumbled into an open cubicle. At the sight of the toilet lid propped up, I vomited. Bile rose at the back of my throat, and more perspiration broke out on my face as my fingers tightened around my hair, keeping the thick strands back.

My chest heaved again, and my stomach muscles contracted, hurling out my breakfast and meagre lunch. Must’ve been the tuna.

I didn’t know how long I stayed there. Wave after wave of nausea kept me pinned on the floor, my forearms embracing the toilet rim and my mouth open, gasping for oxygen. Slowly the feeling faded, and with my stomach empty and my arms shaky, I got to my feet.

My legs trembled. I braced myself until I reached the row of basins and cleaned myself up.

I reached out and pulled a few tissues down from the dispenser and wiped my mouth, hating the bitter taste of my vomit. I put a hand in my bag and searched for gum, a breath mint… anything to take the taste away. Finding nothing, I closed my eyes and wondered what I’d eaten to cause this sudden reaction. I created a mental list of everything I’d consumed that day. Two pieces of toast, one banana and that stingy tuna sandwich from the deli around the corner from the office.

It had to be the fish. It couldn’t be anything else.

My eyes popped open, and I counted back the days in my head, but I got flustered. I pulled out my phone instead and used the calendar app to help me calculate.

No, no, no! It couldn’t be… I tried to remember the last time I’d received a visit from Aunt Flo.

“Fuck,” I whispered. My memory was blank. How could I have missed several periods and not even noticed? No, there must have been a misunderstanding, I thought, a mistake. Something else to explain the sudden nausea.

It was the fucking tuna! Please?

I lifted a hand and with numb fingers I pulled the lid down and sat atop the toilet seat as tears ran down my face. The last time I’d had sex was…

A familiar thumping inside my head erupted once again. The hammering inside my skull made it hard to concentrate, but it also gave me a welcome distraction. I couldn’t stay in here forever, I thought. I made myself presentable and pushed through the door back into the restaurant. With jelly legs I made my way towards Harvey and gave him a shaky yet reassuring smile. Or so I hoped. I flopped down on my seat opposite him, trying not to stare too long at the fried scallop salad that waited for me at my place. I pushed the plate away, fearing that it might induce another trip to the bathroom.

“Sara?”

I brought my head up and met his blue eyes. For a brief moment I let myself get lost in them. The bright azure of his orbs called out to me, threatened to drown me in a comforting stare.

“You look a little pale,” he observed. There was a hint of concern in his tone, and I nibbled at my lip nervously. He’d been so good to me, and I wanted to tell him my suspicions… He was the only person I could tell, but I wanted to hold onto my little delusion a little longer, that maybe we could be something more than friends.

I faked a smile and took a sip of my cool water, forgoing the glass of wine. “Just something I ate earlier. I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

He examined my face longer than necessary, and I thought he was going to call me out on my lie. Before he could open his sexy-ass mouth again, I interrupted him. “Stop looking so serious. You said we’re here to celebrate, right?” I cracked a smile and he nodded, going back to being the laid-back Harvey I knew and lov—.

“So how long has Sadie worked for you?” I asked, wanting to distract myself as much as possible. “I mean, how did you two meet?”

I nibbled on a breadstick as Harvey tucked into his starter, and after taking a mouthful of tomato and mozzarella, he swallowed. “We met years ago, when I was just starting my first company. We went to the same college, but we’d never hung around in the same circles. Then years later, we met by chance and clicked instantly. Like we were meant to meet each other, you know?” I gave a nod. “And from then we started hanging out, and eventually she became my secretary. She’s the best secretary I’ve ever had. You wouldn’t believe the stuff she does; she’s a genius in her own way. Efficient, too, and the mouth on her—she’ll have you in fits of laughter. Sadie’s amazing. I don’t think I could ever do without her.”