Kohen collects our bags. He holds out his free hand. For some reason I hesitate; this is it. If I take it, I will be sealing my fate with him. No more Jax. He’s out of your life. I take it and squeeze his hand while he leads me out of his apartment. He doesn’t let go until we reach his car.

“Thank you,” Kohen says once he’s done lining up our bags in the back of his Lexus.

“For what?” I try to think of anything special I did for him today. I come up blank

“Thanks for letting me steal you. I know that you’re a little on edge because your brother left so I wanted to take your mind off it.”

God, if he’s any sweeter I might get a cavity. “Trust me. I should be thanking you. I needed to get out of the city for a few days. I’m glad that I’m gonna be with you.” I say the last part quietly, but I mean every word of it because I have no one else, no one left to trust in my life.

Kohen gives me that breathtaking smile of his before starting the car. Immediately I plug in my phone and select one of my favorite playlists for long drives. It’s catchy music that you can sing to, but quiet enough where you can still have a conversation. It’s perfect. Basically, I rock at making playlists.

I hum along to the first few songs and watch New York City fly in a blur. Kohen is quiet, which I appreciate. I have a lot on my mind. I can’t stop thinking about my relationship with Jax. All lies. I see his face when he told me loves me for the first time, I feel his lips on mine, I hear his laughter. More lies. I want to push things further with Kohen because of Jax. I want Kohen to make me forget him.

“Wake up, babe,” Kohen says softly into my ear.

I mumble back something and turn my head. It’s only then, when I feel the kink in my neck, that I realize the car has stopped. I manage to open one eye to see Kohen standing beside me. I open the other and gasp when I spot the beautiful ocean in front of us.

“Wow!” I say, sitting up to take in the view.

“Want to take a walk on the beach?” Kohen helps me out of the car.

“Yes,” I say immediately.

Kohen laughs at my enthusiasm. “Don’t we need to stop and get groceries?” I ask when we pass the house.

“I took care of it. Fridge is full and our bags are put away upstairs already. Oh and I texted Harper and your brother to let them know where you were.”

I tilt my head to see him grinning down at me. I smile back. “You did?”

“Of course. I knew you would want them to know where you were and since you fell asleep I did it for you . . .You don’t mind, do you?”

“Of course not,” I tell him while I give myself a mental high-five.

I’m so glad that I deleted my text thread with Jax. I know that it would have been torture to re-read every text that he’s ever sent me.

“Great. Now let’s take that walk.”

Once we take off our shoes, hand-in-hand, we head to the edge of the water. I dip my feet in. The ocean is chiller than I expected, but I warm up to it after a while. Kohen doesn’t. He keeps jumping when the waves crash and the water pools around our feet, making me laugh each and every time.

“It’s freezing!” he shouts as I try to steer him further.

“Don’t be such a baby.” I smirk when he finally lets me drag him in deeper, but not deep enough to get his shorts wet.

“You do know that we’re going to freeze to death, right?”

“And I’ll love every second of it. Now come on.” I dive into the ocean still wearing my sundress that I chose because it’s a warm autumn day. When I surface a couple feet away from Kohen, he’s standing where I left him.

“Come on!” I shout. He just shakes his head, an amused expression on his face as he watches me.

I roll my eyes and sink back underneath the water. This is my favorite place. Underneath the water, where all you can hear is the ocean crashing above you. I wish I had gills so that I never had to surface, that I could just stay here forever, in the silence. I turn over on my back and lay on the ocean’s floor. I submerge my hands into the soft sand and watch as it slides between my fingers. My body sways back and forth, moving naturally with the waves. Suddenly I’m pulled out of my oasis.

“What the hell?” I yell. I’m a little mad that he yanked me up so hard. Especially since I was at peace.

Kohen’s eyes darken at my outburst and I immediately regret snapping at him. He’s breathing heavily, as if just that small act angers him. Not good.

“I thought you were drowning,” Kohen says softly when he see that I’m okay. He visibly relaxes.

He’s changing. He wouldn’t have been able to calm down if he isn’t changing. With the old Kohen, I would have ended up bruised. Progress.

“I’m sorry. I was just . . .” The words die on my lips. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to explain to him what I was doing.

“Finding yourself again,” Kohen says with a knowing smile.

“Yeah, something like that.” I wrap my arms around him. I can feel him shaking underneath me. I don’t even feel the cold, I love the water that much. “Let’s go warm up.”

Kohen gives me a quick kiss on the lips and nods. Our clothes cling to our bodies as we make our way out of the water and walk back to Kohen’s house.

His home is beautiful, everything I imagined when I pictured it this morning. Flowerbeds line the driveway up to a two-story house made of different shades of grey stone. There’s a wraparound porch, complete with a swing facing the ocean. I can’t wait to have my morning smoothie tomorrow and watch the sunrise. The front door is massive, domineering in a blood red that resembles his sheets back home. I spin around and take it all in.

“Do you have any neighbors?” I ask when I notice that I can’t see any other houses.

“Of course, they’re just a short drive down the road. I bought this place because it’s so far away from everyone else. It feels like we’re the only two people here, doesn’t it?”

My stomach clenches. “Yeah.”

I didn’t realize it was so isolated out here. I wish I stayed awake in the car so I could have been paying attention. It dawns on me that I can’t escape to my apartment if I freak out. I’m here with just him.

“I’m hoping that we’ll make this a monthly thing.”

This is Kohen, not some serial killer. “That sounds nice.”

Once we’re inside, Kohen leads me upstairs to the master bedroom. “I’ll use the shower downstairs and then I’ll make us lunch. Everything you need is in the bathroom.” He grabs a change of clothes and leaves the bedroom.

Instantly I’m relieved that he isn’t pushing us. He’s letting us take things slow and giving me the space I need. I walk into the bathroom and I’m immediately in love. The huge jacuzzi tub can easily fit five people. I sit on the edge and finger one of the bubble bath bottles on the side. My smile widens when I recognize that it’s my favorite scent. I look at the rest and find all my favorite stuff. Forgetting the shower idea, I turn the nozzle for the tub and pour a generous amount of lavender bath salts followed by the bubbles.

While the tub fills, I inspect the bathroom. I’m not surprised that all of my things are in here. All of my face wash and soaps are in the shower already, along with a loofah. I open the top drawer and I discover that he even bought me a new razor, and my favorite brand of tampons. What I wouldn’t give to see Kohen buy these. He wasn’t joking when he said he wants to make this a monthly thing. I open the last drawer and I spot a new hair dryer, straightener, and a curling iron. If he keeps this up, I won’t even need to pack next time.

Once my hands are shriveled up like a prune, I force myself to climb out. Not gonna lie, it takes a good amount of effort on my part. I’m pretty sure I could live in this tub. After drying off, I step out of the bathroom to search for my bag and stop in the doorway. Kohen laid out clothes for me on the bed. For some reason I don’t find this sweet. Even though they’re the clothes I packed, I feel like it’s his way of trying to tell me what I can wear. Which is stupid since I was going to select that exact pair of leggings and sweater. I’m being irrational.