“Did you have anything to do with the post about me and Gray?” My entire body vibrated with anger.

“Blair—”

“Did you have anything to do with the post about me and Gray?” I repeated, my voice rising.

“I didn’t think they’d post his name. I just told them you were seeing someone. I didn’t say who.”

“How fucking stupid are you?”

“Blair—” Jackie interjected.

I whirled on her. “Stay out of it,” I snapped. “This is between her and me.”

Kate sank down onto the couch. “I’m sorry. So sorry.”

“You don’t get it, do you? I have to go before the fucking disciplinary board. They were talking about firing him and he quit. He broke up with me because he doesn’t want me tied to all of the shit that’s coming out about him. I love him.”

Tears spilled down Kate’s cheeks. “I’m sorry. It got out of hand.”

I was so hurt, so angry. She could apologize all she wanted, but it didn’t change a damn thing.

“I knew what I was doing could get us in trouble. I knew, and I took the risk anyway. If they expel me, fine. I’ll deal with it. I can get over that.

“What I can’t get over is the fact that my fucking sister betrayed me, and for what? So you could write a few nasty posts about Dad? Was trying to destroy him really worth it? Because from where I’m standing, all you did was destroy me.

“Tell me how you’re different from him, because right now you both look exactly the same. You’re both willing to screw over people to get what you want, and you don’t give a shit about the lives you wreck in the process.”

My voice broke. “Gray had gotten his life together. He was happy and he’d put all of the shit in Chicago behind him. Do you know how hard I worked to make him let me in? To convince him that we could be together?”

“I didn’t know. I didn’t know you loved him,” Kate sobbed. “I fucked up. I know I fucked up.”

Jackie sat down next to her, wrapping her arm around Kate, her eyes clouded with worry. “Let’s just sit and talk about this calmly. I know you guys are upset, but Kate didn’t mean to hurt you, Blair. You know that.”

My eyes narrowed. “What would you do if it were Will’s name and reputation splashed all over the gossip columns?”

Jackie paled.

“Gray was off-limits.” My gaze snapped to Kate. “As my sister you should have understood that. Even if I could forgive what you did to me, I can’t forgive what you did to him. No one would have cared about him if not for me. He’s on the fucking front page of Capital Confessions because of me. I have to live with that. So whether you meant to hurt me or not, doesn’t really matter. You did. Why?”

Kate wiped at her face, and some part of me, the part that had protected her my entire life, died at the pain in her eyes and the fact that I’d put it there. We’d fought as kids, and we still had fights now, but nothing like this. There was a rage inside me I couldn’t shut off, and even when it receded, I was reminded of her betrayal, and it came bubbling back up again.

“How did you start working with Capital Confessions?” My gaze cut to Jackie. “Did you get her involved in this?”

“I didn’t know,” Jackie answered. “I swear.”

“Don’t blame Jackie,” Kate interjected. “It was all me. I got the idea last year when she told us that she’d been blogging about our father. When she stepped down, I saw an opportunity.”

“To smear him.”

“Among other things.”

“What other things? Ruining me as well?”

Kate winced. “No. None of this had anything to do with you.”

“Except it does, because you used me to get to him.”

“I gave them stupid pieces of gossip. The editor wanted me to share information about our family. Posts about you got a lot of hits because of everything between you and Thom—”

“So you saw an opportunity to take advantage of my heartbreak. Fuck you.”

She flinched. “I didn’t post anything bad. Just stupid stuff about what you wore or who you were dating.”

“Yes, but that wasn’t ‘stupid stuff’ to me. It was my fucking life.”

“I didn’t think you’d care. I didn’t think you were serious about him,” Kate whispered.

“Didn’t think I’d care? You’re my sister. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect you. Nothing I wouldn’t do for you. Hell, if you’d asked me, I would have been willing to give you pieces of gossip that I didn’t care about. But not Gray.”

“I know.”

“So tell me, what did you get for it all? You wrecked my relationship with the only man I’ve ever really loved, the only man who has ever loved me. Was it worth it? Did you get your thirty pieces of silver? Did you ruin Dad enough?”

Her mouth tightened and her eyes got hard. “He can’t get away with it.”

“Newsflash, Kate, he is getting away with it. He always comes out on top. That’s who he is. You aren’t going to win this. I don’t even understand what you’re doing. Do you think this is what Matt would have wanted for you?”

“Don’t bring Matt into this.” Her eyes dulled as his name crossed her lips. “Don’t go there, Blair.”

Jackie squeezed her arm, but Kate got to her feet, facing off against me.

“It’s been over three years, Kate. You’ve been a fucking zombie for three years. He never would have wanted this for you. He would have wanted you to be happy. He would have wanted you to find love again. He would have wanted more for you than this. And he never would have thought what you were doing was okay. Never.”

“Don’t you dare talk to me about Matt.”

“He was my friend, too. I loved him, too. And I knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t have destroyed his life because he was hell-bent on revenge. And he definitely wouldn’t have destroyed the people who loved him.”

“He killed him.” She screamed the words, her anger splintering through the room.

Jackie went white as a sheet, and I froze, staring at the sister I’d grown up with, finally realizing that the girl I’d known was gone.

“What are you talking about?”

She took a deep breath, her hand shaking. “Someone has been sending me anonymous letters.”

Oh my god.

“Matt’s unit was ambushed.”

“Kate.”

“It was a setup. And I think Dad knew about it. I think he’s covering it up.”

I sank down into the armchair, the adrenaline whooshing out of me, my head in my hands. Fuck. Just when I thought things couldn’t be more heinous, they were. Bile rose in my throat as nausea assaulted me.

I looked up at her, feeling like I was watching two trains about to collide. She had either completely lost it and gone full-on conspiracy theory, or even worse, she was right. Either way she was fucked.

“If you’re right, you need to stop whatever you’re doing. You need to let this go.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because it isn’t going to bring Matt back. He’s gone. Destroying our father won’t bring Matt back. Neither will finding out what happened to him. All it’s going to do is get you killed.”

Jackie let out a strangled gasp, and I wondered if she was regretting ever having gotten involved with us. She might have worked in politics, on the surface she might have been more jaded than I was, but this was the world I’d grown up in.

As much as I hated it, rejected it, it was in my blood, and I knew how this would go down.

I wasn’t Kate; I wasn’t looking for a battle, all I wanted was to find some semblance of happiness and peace despite our fucked up family. I was not naive. I knew what my father was capable of. And I knew without a doubt in my mind, that if it came down to him or Kate, he would choose himself every fucking time.

“You could die.”

She held my gaze and her words killed a part of me.

“Don’t you get it? I’m already dead. I’ve been dead for three years.”

I did know. I’d known all along. I just hadn’t wanted to face it. But now it blazed back at me, shining from her eyes, and there was no escaping the truth in her words.