What the fuck?

And then everyone’s attention, mine included, turned to the knock at the door. We all watched as the dean of the law school interrupted class, walked over to me, and said the nine words that as soon as they escaped his lips, sealed my fate.

“I need to see you in my office immediately.”

Nine words. Nine words and I knew—

The secret was out about Blair and me.

My mind and body went numb as I gathered my papers, casebook, briefcase, while he excused the class. While I followed him out of the classroom and up to his office. While he shut the door behind us and I faced the weight of my sins.

I’d fucked up. Utterly. Completely. Again.

But worst of all, my worst fear had come true—

I’d dragged her down with me.

Chapter Twenty-four

More information keeps coming out about Blair Reynolds’s latest love. Not only was he married before (and we have it on good authority that the divorce was NOT amicable), but apparently he spent some time in rehab getting over a certain white powder . . .

—Capital Confessions blog

Blair

I opened the front door and froze at the sight of Gray standing on my doorstep. He looked how I felt.

His tie was loose, his suit rumpled, his hair messy. His mouth was pursed in a hard line. His eyes looked tired, like he’d waged a battle and lost.

“I’m so sorry.” I moved toward him, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling his body against mine. I held on, holding him to me like I never wanted to let him go.

I waited for the feel of his arms around my waist, for him to give me his mouth, to kiss me and infuse me with some of the strength I so badly needed.

He didn’t.

I pulled back, a new tension entering my body.

“Do you want to come in?”

He nodded.

I moved back, opening the door wider as he walked into the living room, his whole body tense.

I bit my lip. “Do you want a drink? Water?”

He nodded again.

It wasn’t easy to make myself walk to the bar cart and pour our drinks. My hands shook as I fumbled with the glass, my feet feeling like I was wearing lead boots.

I handed Gray his drink, my hands cold as ice as our fingers touched.

“Are you okay, all things considered?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

Better now that he’d actually spoken. “All things considered, yeah. Did you have to talk to the dean?”

“I quit.”

My jaw dropped. “What do you mean, you quit?”

“They were going to suspend me pending an investigation. It wasn’t worth the fight.”

Oh god.

“This is all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault. I knew this would happen. I should have stayed away from you.”

Dread filled me. I knew what was coming next.

His voice was hoarse. “I can’t do this anymore.”

And there it was. This is what I’d been afraid of from the moment I saw that stupid Capital Confessions headline. All along it had been an effort to make him believe we could be good for each other, that he wouldn’t ruin my life. He had so much doubt inside him, so much pain, and I knew with those words, that he was going to use this as an excuse to run.

“Don’t do this. Not after everything.”

“Blair—”

I grabbed the crystal glass sitting on the table, and hurled it at the wall. We both watched as it shattered, liquid spilling all over the floor.

His jaw dropped as his gaze darted from the broken glass to my broken heart.

I fisted my hands on my hips, the anger inside me screaming along with the shattering pain in my chest.

“You want someone to blame for all of this? Blame me. I know for a fact that there are two other professors dating students at Hannover. No one would give a shit that we were dating if it hadn’t leaked in Capital Confessions. And the only reason it made it into Capital Confessions is because of my family and my father. That’s not your fault.”

He shook his head, his expression angry. “You don’t get it, do you? If you were dating someone who was right for you, there wouldn’t be anything to put in Capital Confessions. They wouldn’t be talking about my stint in rehab, or my divorce, or any of it. It’s gained this much traction because everyone can see what you can’t. You deserve someone better than me. Someone who doesn’t have this many skeletons in their closet. Someone who can give you more.”

“I don’t want more. I want you.”

“Blair—”

My heart was breaking, but I refused to cry. He was wrong. So wrong.

I got in his face, some version of myself I’d yet to meet rearing her ballsy head.

“No. I’m not going to make this easy for you. You want an out, fine. But be a man about it. If you don’t want to be with me, then just tell me that. Don’t try to make this like it’s what’s best for me, because you are what’s best for me. You make me happy. I love you.”

The second I said the words, his face went white. I’d thought about how I would tell him for a while now, but I hadn’t imagined I would say it in anger in the midst of him breaking up with me.

“I can’t do this.” There was a plea in his voice as though he wanted me to make this easy on him.

I didn’t.

“No, you don’t want to do this. There’s a difference.” My tone dripped with bitterness and anger. “We could deal with it together.”

He shook his head. “The more attention our relationship gets, the harder it’s going to be for the school to just sweep it under the rug. Nothing we did violates any rules, but the way it looks in the public eye definitely matters. You said it yourself, they’re making a big deal of this because of the Capital Confessions mention. It’s not going to go away.”

“I’ve dealt with this shit my whole life. This might be new for you, but this isn’t the first time my personal life has been splattered all over gossip columns. Trust me, eventually it will die out. This is D.C. Someone will do something more scandalous than we have. We just have to ride it out.”

“And what happens to your reputation? How are you going to practice law in this town after everyone knows that you slept with one of your professors? You’re going to hear the whispers everywhere you go.”

“Newsflash, I already hear those fucking whispers everywhere about a host of things I’m not even responsible for. At least this time if people want to talk about me behind my back, it’s because of something I did as opposed to my freaking last name.”

“And when you try to get a job after law school?” he countered. “How easy do you think that’s going to be? You don’t want your future to be affected by this.”

“I hate law school. I don’t even know that I want to be an attorney. I studied my ass off all semester and all I have to show for it is a fucking two-point-five GPA. And you think that I would somehow give up the person I’m in love with for that?”

His jaw clenched. “It’s not just about law school.”

“No, it isn’t. It isn’t about me at all.”

“Blair—”

“It’s the same fucking thing with you, isn’t it? We keep doing this and it doesn’t change. I thought when we started whatever this is, when it became real, that I could convince you that this was right. That we were right.”

“When was it real, Blair? When we were sneaking around in my office? When we couldn’t go out in public together for fear that people would find out? Was that when it was real?”

I fisted my hands, trying to keep my temper in check, all while arrows shot me in the fucking chest.

“Don’t you dare.” My voice shook with each word, a combination of rage and hurt, making it painful to speak. “Don’t you tell me that what I feel isn’t real. I love you. You don’t get to take that away from me. You want to tell me that you don’t love me back, you want to throw my love back at me, fine. I can’t make you accept it, or make you love me. But do not tell me what I feel. This is real for me,” I shouted.