knows where—Cambodia or Thailand, or

And we’re

gonna be in L.A. in three weeks.

sigh heavily, tracing Kitty’s smiling face with my

fingers.

She’d felt so close

But she could be anywhere.

New York City

The thought thrills through me like electricity.

can’t believe I’ve never been before. All these years, it’s

been just plane, or train, or bus ride away

but now I’m

finally going. beam at my ticket—my passport to the Big

Apple, the city that never sleeps, the town that’s inspired

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more songs than any other, from Frank Sinatra to Jay-Z,

home of Carrie Bradshaw, Will and Grace, Central Perk,

Broadway

The smile splits my face.

It’s

dream come true. All my dreams are finally

coming true.

My stomach flutters suddenly and, despite myself,

reach into my bag, pulling out the well-thumbed

ultrasound image that lives there, carried with me always.

trace my finger over the tiny black-and-white

form, remembering how scared I’d been when I’d had the

scan, how unsure

And now

“Sweetheart?” hide the picture quickly and turn to

look up at him, so tall and dark and impossibly handsome.

The man of my dreams.

“There you are.” He smiles, my insides melting like

chocolate as he kisses me. “You ready for

brand-new

year?”

“Absolutely.” beam, sliding the photo secretly into

my bag and pushing it behind me as slip my hand into

his, following him outside as the minutes tick by quickly,

leaving the past far behind. Somewhere high above us

rocket explodes in the sky and everything sparkles.

smile, the bad memories fading with the

fireworks, replaced by bigger, brighter, better ones every

moment.

“I can’t wait.”

119

Chapter Nine

pull the blanket up to my chin and shift position

on the sofa for the umpteenth time as

premature

firework explodes somewhere above us, the lights from

passing cars chasing across the room like searchlights,

dancing over the books and glinting blindingly on the

picture frames. pull the blanket over my head and close

my eyes.

can’t sleep. Kitty’s face keeps dancing in front of

me, taunting, tormenting. She feels so close now, so real

All the time at home she’d seemed so far away, so

distant—a dream. And now here am in her country—and

I’ve lost her! She could be anywhere, and I’m here, on

some sofa in the middle of New York—doing what? sigh

heavily. don’t even know anymore.

“Can’t sleep?” Andy rolls to face me from his

sleeping bag on the floor.

shake my head. couldn’t be more awake.

“Me neither. It must be jet lag, or anti–jet lag or

something!” He smiles. “Come on, let’s go out.”

“Now?”

“Why not?” He grins, wriggling out of his sleeping

bag. “It’s the city that never sleeps, remember?”

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The park is even more beautiful by night, glowing

with thousands of tiny lamps, but it does nothing to lift my

mood.

What am doing here?

million miles from home,

from everything familiar, lying to Andy, using Mum’s

money. My heart twists. For what? I’ll never find Kitty, not

now. This country’s so vast, so busy, so full—she could pass me on the street and I’d never even notice. Andy was

right. It was stupid. It was stupid idea to try to find her.

should never have come, never have left Nana, never lied

to Andy

And now I’ve got eight long empty months of

traveling ahead of me when all want to do is go home

and curl up in my own bed.

“It’s

beautiful,

isn’t

it?”

Andy

beams,

misinterpreting my sigh as he gazes over at gleaming ice

rink surrounded by glowing stars, the skyscrapers soaring

high above.

watch, hypnotized, as the skaters whiz by, some

laughing and giggling as they slip and slide perilously,

others gliding lazily by without care in the world. envy

them.

“Come on then, let’s get your skates on,” Andy says,

grabbing my hand and heading over to the queue for skate

hire.

“What?” stare at him. “I can’t! haven’t skated in

ages, not since—”

“You don’t forget.” His eyes linger on mine, and my

stomach flutters despite myself, remembering the last

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time we went ice-skating

our first date.

eye the

shimmering surface uncertainly, my cheeks burning in the

frosty air, as memories flood my head. Then he smiles that

oh-so-familiar smile, his blue eyes sparkling as those

dimples overcome all my doubts.

“Come on, Bambi.” He grins, his arm strong and

warm around me as we step toward the slippery ice. “I

won’t let you fall.”

On the rink it’s impossible to think about anything

but staying upright—I cling to Andy as we slip and giggle

round the ice till my bum’s bruised from falling, and our

sides kill from laughing so much.

Suddenly Andy checks his watch and grabs my

hand.

“Quick! We’ve got to hurry!”

“Hurry where?”

laugh. “It’s the city that never

sleeps, remember!”

“You’ll see—come on!”

We’ve barely returned our skates before Andy’s

dragging me through the streets, racing down block after

block, until suddenly we round corner, and gasp.

have never seen so many people. The ocean of

bodies floods the streets, sprawling as far as can see,

crammed between the buildings, swaying together

harmoniously as music blasts from loudspeakers, their

blue Happy New Year top hats bobbing merrily as they

dance, hug, cheer and squeal with excitement beneath the

towering buildings ablaze with blinking billboards—

twinkling and chasing and dazzling all different colors,

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shapes and pictures, beside the enormous glowing

Broadway placards. The atmosphere is electric.

“Just in time.” Andy grins, checking his watch and

weaving us deeper into the throng.

Suddenly the music stops and the whole crowd

begins to chant: “Fifty-nine! Fifty-eight! Fifty-seven! Fifty-

six!”

“We couldn’t miss the ball drop!” Andy laughs,

pointing, as there, high above the brightest building,

glowing globe twinkles like

star, sparkling

million

different colors and patterns as it slowly sinks toward an

enormous ticking countdown.

“Ten! Nine! Eight!” My skin tingles and my heart

beats fast as clutch Andy’s hand.

“Seven! Six!” He squeezes my hand and grins at me.

“Five! Four! Three! Two! One!”

The sky explodes in fireworks—bursting showers

of blinding blue, red, green, gold—colorful confetti

streaming down all around as the crowd goes crazy, the

cheers deafening as everyone leaps up and down, hugging

each other, and kissing to the strains of “Auld Lang Syne.”

“Happy New Year!” complete stranger grabs me in

bear hug and laugh as

pink-haired woman lands

smacker on Andy’s cheek. He grins at me as the confetti

rains between us.

Suddenly “New York, New York” bursts on, and

shriek as Andy grabs me and starts dancing, singing at the

top of his lungs. giggle as he twirls me round, giddy with

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the buzzing atmosphere, the infectious excitement, the

hope.

“Happy New Year.” Andy grins, his breath warm on